Quick Weight Loss Tips: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Digest Number 1885

There are 25 messages in this issue.

Topics in this digest:

1.1. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
From: Karen Cortez
1.2. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
From: Sheila Derrwaldt
1.3. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
From: Sheila Derrwaldt
1.4. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
From: goldengyrl_4life
1.5. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
From: Pearson, John
1.6. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
From: kelli hodges
1.7. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
From: Kelly
1.8. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
From: Kelly
1.9. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
From: Brenda
1.10. Re: falling back into oldhabits...help!!
From: Kelly
1.11. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
From: Pearson, John
1.12. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
From: Terri Bailey
1.13. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
From: Brenda
1.14. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
From: Pearson, John
1.15. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
From: Cheeks7514@aol.com
1.16. Keeping Us Safe
From: Dorothy M. Rosa Durkee
1.17. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
From: TheAgora81@aol.com
1.18. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
From: Cheeks7514@aol.com
1.19. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
From: Kelly

2a. unsubcribe
From: rockinrobin5457
2b. Re: unsubcribe
From: Lin Hunnicutt
2c. Re: unsubcribe
From: Kelly

3. Norma
From: Kelly

4a. Re: Introduction - New Memeber
From: maria zarragoitia

5. Insurance Approval
From: Le

Messages
________________________________________________________________________
1.1. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
Posted by: "Karen Cortez" kikae1@comcast.net kikae1
Date: Wed Jun 17, 2009 7:11 pm ((PDT))

I have alot of experience with alcoholism in my family as well. In alanon we learned they will make excuses to drink and there is nothing we can do to change them.

Karen Cortez

----- Original Message -----
From: "Janet Kilpatrick" <pinkie1153@yahoo.com>
To: afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 2:05:15 PM GMT -05:00 US/Canada Eastern
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help!!

His drinking. He is drinking more and then we start fighting and he throws in my face that I have had a lifestyle change and just because I did and because I am PERFECT (which I am not by far) doesn't mean he is. He supported me through it all until recently and things are getting worse and worse. I have a sister who is an alcholic and has been for over 20 years and I am not going to live through all of that again. He knows how I feel about my sister and about drinking - but he doesn't seem to care anymore. Oh sure there used to be a whole lot of "I'm sorries" at the begginning - and now there is not. He throws it in my face that at least he is at home drinking - that he could be like all the other men in the world and be out at bars with who knows who doing who knows what. Just breaks my heart because I truly love him. I do not love who he becomes when he comes home from work and starts drinking.
And the more he drinks - the more I say things about it - and that seems to give him "an excuse" to drink more.

Janet

________________________________
From: "Pearson, John" < john.pearson@hp.com >
To: " afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com " < afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com >
Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 9:20:04 AM
Subject: RE: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help!!

Thanks for the response Vic and Janet. I don't believe it's that bad yet and she isn't ignoring me or anything like that. She just wants to go all the time when she was the one in the past that was like why don't we ever just stay home some time.
Where we live they have free poker tournaments just about every night at different bars one game at 7 and one game at 10. If I would let her she would go to everyone of them. The game at 10 doesn't get over till sometimes 1 in the morning. She is also drinking a lot more than she ever has and that is really concerning to me.
I feel as though if I keep nagging her she is not going to stay around forever.

Janet,

What is your husband doing that you can't take much more of?

JP
____________ _________ _________ __
From: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com [mailto:afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com] On Behalf Of Janet Kilpatrick
Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 8:37 AM
To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help! !

Gosh, that sounds so much like what I am going through right now. It just makes me want to cry. I told my husband when I got the surgery (and I truly meant it) that we were not going to be among the stastitics.

But I just can't take much more.

Janet

____________ _________ _________ __
From: Victoria <afterwls@aol. com<mailto:afterwls% 40aol.com> >
To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com<mailto:afterweight losssurgery% 40yahoogroups. com>
Sent: Tuesday, June 16, 2009 10:09:19 PM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help! !

in my experience, I became a 'born again healthy person'. My ex-spouse was not interested in exercising, or losing any weight. He wanted the status quo to remain the same, that is, a nice 'safe' wife who didn't rock the lifestyle boat. When I lost weight and started dressing in a stylish, if not sexy manner, he protested by being verbally abusive and avoiding me, when he wasn't trying to sabotage my diet. He started drinking more (he already had a drinking problem). In short, he couldn't deal with the new me, and we grew apart, and finally, I gave up and left (but not until after 24 marriage counselling sessions).

-Vic
group founder

--- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com, "Pearson, John" <john.pearson@ ...> wrote:
>
> I am having issues in my marriage as well. My wife had the surgery in July of last year.
> Could you elaborate on "putting a strain on my marriage" what problems are you having if I'm not getting to personal.
>
> John Pearson

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Messages in this topic (47)
________________________________________________________________________
1.2. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
Posted by: "Sheila Derrwaldt" sderrwaldt@yahoo.com sderrwaldt
Date: Thu Jun 18, 2009 5:10 am ((PDT))

No, I don't get more attention from guys! I'm 57!!! No one looks at middle-aged women. :) But, I notice that people don't notice me like they did when I was heavy. I just fit in better every place, and feel so much healthier and shopping is a lot easier. I would say more confidence because of less shame.

________________________________
From: "Pearson, John" <john.pearson@hp.com>
To: "afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com" <afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com>
Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 4:40:20 PM
Subject: RE: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help!!

So from someone that has had the surgery can you tell me what is different , of course besides being littler, in your life for example are you getting more attention from the guys or more self confidence what is different over all?

John Pearson

From: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com [mailto:afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com] On Behalf Of Sheila Derrwaldt
Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 1:29 PM
To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help! !

Hi Karen,
I agree 100% and I think the doctors and pre-surgerical psychologist told us the same thing. It's very true. I'd like to add that if a large part of someone's relationship is food centered and eating out and things like that, it's going to be rough going for some time because the last thing a post-op wants to do is eat. You want to lose!
Talk it all out in advance if you can.
Sheila

____________ _________ _________ __
From: Karen Cortez <kikae1@comcast. net<mailto:kikae1% 40comcast. net>>
To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com<mailto:afterweight losssurgery% 40yahoogroups. com>
Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 12:08:24 PM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help! !

Hello,

I have been married for 15 years, together for 18 years. We are still going like we always have. He is concerned about my weight because I have gained so much back, but, other than that there is no real problems. I will tell you what my surgeon told us at the meeting. If you have a good marriage it can get better, if you have a bad marriage it will probably get worse. If you figure some men think of a fat spouse as SAFE then you understand. Also the new attention from other men or women can make the current partner feel very insecure and it is hard sometimes to make them understand that it is just what it is and if you are truly happy then it will not hurt the relationship.

Karen Cortez

----- Original Message -----
From: "Brenda S." <cherokee_bren_ 324@yahoo. com>
To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 10:55:12 AM GMT -05:00 US/Canada Eastern
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits....help! !

Is there anyone out there that has had success with staying married and improving their marriage after surgery? I have just been approved for surgery and will be celebrating my 1st anniversary this weekend. All this talk is very discouraging to me! I would rather be overweight with the love of my life because we are very happy than to be at a much lower weight and be miserable. I am very healthy other than my weight so I guess I am on the fence right now!

____________ _________ _________ __
From: Janet Kilpatrick < pinkie1153@yahoo. com >
To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 9:37:09 AM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help! !

But I just can't take much more.

Janet

____________ _________ _________ __
From: Victoria <afterwls@aol. com>
To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups.. com
Sent: Tuesday, June 16, 2009 10:09:19 PM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help! !

-Vic
group founder

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Messages in this topic (47)
________________________________________________________________________
1.3. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
Posted by: "Sheila Derrwaldt" sderrwaldt@yahoo.com sderrwaldt
Date: Thu Jun 18, 2009 5:12 am ((PDT))

Norma,
I wish you a lot of luck. Your road ahead won't be easy but it will be healthier and saner.
Big hugs,
Sheila

________________________________
From: Norma . Walczak <izzscruff2@yahoo.com>
To: afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 7:15:18 PM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help!!

I have not had a chance to reply till now. Don't want my husband around while I am writings. I did not know that he had a drinking problem before we were married and it did not come out for the first few years, but after the surgery, the demon came out. He drinks every night, and I have learned to stay away from him even if it means to go to bed early. He is verbally abusive and even throws things and bangs doors. He has not touched me in over 2 years. My self esteem is rock bottom, but then I look at guys that I work with or have to interact with that try to talk to me and tell me that I am pretty. I have talked with our pastor who already knew we were at the end. She has tried to talk to us and every time he sits and cries like a baby which is his self defense to get the problem off of him. She caught on quickly to that stupid action. We no longer talk, he sits and smokes his cigarettes, drinks coffee in the morning then comes the booze. He has gained
120# and tells everyone why he is fat is that I force him to eat. Yes I cook meals, but he would rather have ice cream sundae, bananna splits, baked goods or greasy hamburgers that he gets while at work.

Ok enough ranting. I guess that our marriage was never as strong as I thought it was, no one's fault, but know that I am not happy and need to get out soon for my own sanity.

Norma
--- On Wed, 6/17/09, goldengyrl_4life <goldengyrl_4life@ yahoo.com> wrote:

From: goldengyrl_4life <goldengyrl_4life@ yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help! !
To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
Date: Wednesday, June 17, 2009, 5:56 AM

--- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com, "Victoria" <afterwls@.. .> wrote:
>
> in my experience, I became a 'born again healthy person'. My ex-spouse was not interested in exercising, or losing any weight. He wanted the status quo to remain the same, that is, a nice 'safe' wife who didn't rock the lifestyle boat. When I lost weight and started dressing in a stylish, if not sexy manner, he protested by being verbally abusive and avoiding me, when he wasn't trying to sabotage my diet. He started drinking more (he already had a drinking problem). In short, he couldn't deal with the new me, and we grew apart, and finally, I gave up and left (but not until after 24 marriage counselling sessions).
>
> -Vic
> group founder
>
> --- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com, "Pearson, John" <john.pearson@ > wrote:
> >
> > I am having issues in my marriage as well. My wife had the surgery in July of last year.
> > Could you elaborate on "putting a strain on my marriage" what problems are you having if I'm not getting to personal.
> >
> > John Pearson
>

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Messages in this topic (47)
________________________________________________________________________
1.4. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
Posted by: "goldengyrl_4life" goldengyrl_4life@yahoo.com goldengyrl_4life
Date: Thu Jun 18, 2009 5:39 am ((PDT))

I realized this morning that my post never showed so I am trying it again. I will be the first to admit that my marriage might not have been as strong as I thought it was but I never thought WLS would have been the reason for my divorce. My ex has adamently stated that after WLS he was no longer attracted to me. Now I realize that it was out of insecurity on his part. I never had his support during the pre-op procedures, therapy etc. He was so adament he didnt want me to have surgery. I remember coming out of surgery and getting back to my room and he was no where to be found for the next 4 hours. I eventually had to realize that I had to do this for me and me alone. I am very proud of the strides I have made but I am thankful to be rid of the 225 lb weight that would have loved for me to remaine 400lbs. I wish everyone much success and my prayers as this journey seems to continue.....on and on....Enjoy the ride.

--- In afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com, Sheila Derrwaldt <sderrwaldt@...> wrote:
>
> Norma,
> I wish you a lot of luck. Your road ahead won't be easy but it will be healthier and saner.
> Big hugs,
> Sheila
>
>
>
>
> ________________________________
> From: Norma . Walczak <izzscruff2@...>
> To: afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com
> Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 7:15:18 PM
> Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help!!
>
>
>
>
>
> I have not had a chance to reply till now. Don't want my husband around while I am writings. I did not know that he had a drinking problem before we were married and it did not come out for the first few years, but after the surgery, the demon came out. He drinks every night, and I have learned to stay away from him even if it means to go to bed early. He is verbally abusive and even throws things and bangs doors. He has not touched me in over 2 years. My self esteem is rock bottom, but then I look at guys that I work with or have to interact with that try to talk to me and tell me that I am pretty. I have talked with our pastor who already knew we were at the end. She has tried to talk to us and every time he sits and cries like a baby which is his self defense to get the problem off of him. She caught on quickly to that stupid action. We no longer talk, he sits and smokes his cigarettes, drinks coffee in the morning then comes the booze. He has gained
> 120# and tells everyone why he is fat is that I force him to eat. Yes I cook meals, but he would rather have ice cream sundae, bananna splits, baked goods or greasy hamburgers that he gets while at work.
>
> Ok enough ranting. I guess that our marriage was never as strong as I thought it was, no one's fault, but know that I am not happy and need to get out soon for my own sanity.
>
> Norma
> --- On Wed, 6/17/09, goldengyrl_4life <goldengyrl_4life@ yahoo.com> wrote:
>
> From: goldengyrl_4life <goldengyrl_4life@ yahoo.com>
> Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help! !
> To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
> Date: Wednesday, June 17, 2009, 5:56 AM
>
> --- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com, "Victoria" <afterwls@ .> wrote:
> >
> > in my experience, I became a 'born again healthy person'. My ex-spouse was not interested in exercising, or losing any weight. He wanted the status quo to remain the same, that is, a nice 'safe' wife who didn't rock the lifestyle boat. When I lost weight and started dressing in a stylish, if not sexy manner, he protested by being verbally abusive and avoiding me, when he wasn't trying to sabotage my diet. He started drinking more (he already had a drinking problem). In short, he couldn't deal with the new me, and we grew apart, and finally, I gave up and left (but not until after 24 marriage counselling sessions).
> >
> > -Vic
> > group founder
> >
> > --- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com, "Pearson, John" <john.pearson@ > wrote:
> > >
> > > I am having issues in my marriage as well. My wife had the surgery in July of last year.
> > > Could you elaborate on "putting a strain on my marriage" what problems are you having if I'm not getting to personal.
> > >
> > > John Pearson
> >
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

Messages in this topic (47)
________________________________________________________________________
1.5. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
Posted by: "Pearson, John" john.pearson@hp.com jp_unwinders
Date: Thu Jun 18, 2009 6:14 am ((PDT))

Norma,

Good luck in your situation I'm really sorry you have to feel the way you do after feeling so much better about yourself after surgery.
My situation is that I am a very insecure person always have been. Now that my wife has lost weight and is getting more attention from the fellas I get really jealous. I know this is something I need to work on so I am trying. Just don't know how.

John Pearson
Inventory Analyst
Cell: 281-799-9118
Office @ Exel: 713-934-1536

________________________________
From: afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com [mailto:afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com] On Behalf Of goldengyrl_4life
Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 7:39 AM
To: afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com
Subject: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old habits...help!!

--- In afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com<mailto:afterweightlosssurgery%40yahoogroups.com>, Sheila Derrwaldt <sderrwaldt@...> wrote:
>
> Norma,
> I wish you a lot of luck. Your road ahead won't be easy but it will be healthier and saner.
> Big hugs,
> Sheila
>
>
>
>
> ________________________________
> From: Norma . Walczak <izzscruff2@...>
> To: afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com<mailto:afterweightlosssurgery%40yahoogroups.com>
> Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 7:15:18 PM
> Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help!!
>
>
>
>
>
> I have not had a chance to reply till now. Don't want my husband around while I am writings. I did not know that he had a drinking problem before we were married and it did not come out for the first few years, but after the surgery, the demon came out. He drinks every night, and I have learned to stay away from him even if it means to go to bed early. He is verbally abusive and even throws things and bangs doors. He has not touched me in over 2 years. My self esteem is rock bottom, but then I look at guys that I work with or have to interact with that try to talk to me and tell me that I am pretty. I have talked with our pastor who already knew we were at the end. She has tried to talk to us and every time he sits and cries like a baby which is his self defense to get the problem off of him. She caught on quickly to that stupid action. We no longer talk, he sits and smokes his cigarettes, drinks coffee in the morning then comes the booze. He has gained
> 120# and tells everyone why he is fat is that I force him to eat. Yes I cook meals, but he would rather have ice cream sundae, bananna splits, baked goods or greasy hamburgers that he gets while at work.
>
> Ok enough ranting. I guess that our marriage was never as strong as I thought it was, no one's fault, but know that I am not happy and need to get out soon for my own sanity.
>
> Norma
> --- On Wed, 6/17/09, goldengyrl_4life <goldengyrl_4life@ yahoo.com> wrote:
>
> From: goldengyrl_4life <goldengyrl_4life@ yahoo.com>
> Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help! !
> To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
> Date: Wednesday, June 17, 2009, 5:56 AM
>
> --- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com, "Victoria" <afterwls@ .> wrote:
> >
> > in my experience, I became a 'born again healthy person'. My ex-spouse was not interested in exercising, or losing any weight. He wanted the status quo to remain the same, that is, a nice 'safe' wife who didn't rock the lifestyle boat. When I lost weight and started dressing in a stylish, if not sexy manner, he protested by being verbally abusive and avoiding me, when he wasn't trying to sabotage my diet. He started drinking more (he already had a drinking problem). In short, he couldn't deal with the new me, and we grew apart, and finally, I gave up and left (but not until after 24 marriage counselling sessions).
> >
> > -Vic
> > group founder
> >
> > --- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com, "Pearson, John" <john.pearson@ > wrote:
> > >
> > > I am having issues in my marriage as well. My wife had the surgery in July of last year.
> > > Could you elaborate on "putting a strain on my marriage" what problems are you having if I'm not getting to personal.
> > >
> > > John Pearson
> >
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Messages in this topic (47)
________________________________________________________________________
1.6. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
Posted by: "kelli hodges" keldred24@hotmail.com kellihodges24
Date: Thu Jun 18, 2009 7:14 am ((PDT))

i understand...my husband did not want me to have the surgery either. luckily he is ok with it now but he is not happy that i have lost 80 lbs...but i am happy. so i think he is ok with it now. my mother says that he liked me heavy because he didnt have to worry that someone else would want me...she thinks its insecurity also. i think my marriage is fine but who really knows my mother was married for 25yrs before her divorce and she didnt have wls...i figure if he cant love me smaller than he never loved me at all.

kelli

To: afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com
From: goldengyrl_4life@yahoo.com
Date: Thu, 18 Jun 2009 12:38:46 +0000
Subject: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old habits...help!!

_________________________________________________________________
Hotmail� has ever-growing storage! Don�t worry about storage limits.
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Messages in this topic (47)
________________________________________________________________________
1.7. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
Posted by: "Kelly" kdies@verizon.net kellone2
Date: Thu Jun 18, 2009 7:40 am ((PDT))

Sorry I didnt answer this sooner.
Differences:
Is someone noticing the weight I lost. Constant compliments, especially from people that I havent seen in YEARS or even MONTHS. I work in a coal trucking company and it's nice when customers come in and havent seen me in a while. I do notice guys glancing now when my daughter and I are together. It's just different. A little more confident about doing things alone. I said if I were to loose 100lbs i was getting my motorcycle license. Well, my husband has been gone sine September 08 (deployed), I lost 117lbs, took his motorcycle to get fixed, got my permit, starting motorcycle safety classes tonight for 4 days.... 2 thursdays, 2 sundays! Im excited, having the time of my life ;)
You'll notice alot of things that you couldnt do before that you can do now. Like the heat... ugh! I never could stand anything over 70, I sweat instantly. I have been doing ok so far this year.... actually liking it. Can walk long distances.
Now, I gained 12lbs back, im only 14 months post op...because I quit smoking April 1st. I have to work a little harder now to get that back off and then some.
I dont like, however, the extra skin, baggage and hanging, but will deal with it. I would rather weigh 200lbs then I would 311 like I did, right?

Kelly

----- Original Message -----
From: Pearson, John
To: afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 4:40 PM
Subject: RE: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help!!

John Pearson

From: afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com [mailto:afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com] On Behalf Of Sheila Derrwaldt
Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 1:29 PM
To: afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help!!

________________________________
From: Karen Cortez <kikae1@comcast.net<mailto:kikae1%40comcast.net>>
To: afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com<mailto:afterweightlosssurgery%40yahoogroups.com>
Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 12:08:24 PM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help!!

Hello,

Karen Cortez

But I just can't take much more.

Janet

____________ _________ _________ __
From: Victoria <afterwls@aol. com>
To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
Sent: Tuesday, June 16, 2009 10:09:19 PM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help! !

-Vic
group founder

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Messages in this topic (47)
________________________________________________________________________
1.8. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
Posted by: "Kelly" kdies@verizon.net kellone2
Date: Thu Jun 18, 2009 7:47 am ((PDT))

type A person <---- How do you know what type of person you are???

----- Original Message -----
From: TheAgora81@aol.com
To: afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 7:01 PM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help!!

John,

Its about being yourself again, having yourself back, your real self not
some fatty self that you hate, but the real skin and bones you. Seeing
yourself come back into a regular wardrobe (I just went from a 22 to an 18 in pants
and 3x to a 1x in shirts) I want to be my regular self again after 26 years
of who was that?

To not tire when walking or standing even. To jump again, run again, bike
again. ( I bike again but not run or jump yet) To be with someone and know
that you look nice enough and feel wonderful about yourself once more.
Its a second chance at life and I wanted it. I hope that I get there, all
the way down to 110 lbs. Hope so! I know it will be tough because its tough
even at 3 mos out.

The doctors say that it takes a type A person to have this op. I am not
much for rollercoasters but I do miss scuba diving. LOL.

peace lee

So from someone that has had the surgery can you tell me what is different
, of course besides being littler, in your life for example are you getting
more attention from the guys or more self confidence what is different over
all?

John Pearson

**************Dell Days of Deals! June 15-24 - A New Deal Everyday!
(http://pr.atwola.com/promoclk/100126575x1222865043x1201494942/aol?redir=http:%2F%2F
ad.doubleclick.net%2Fclk%3B215692145%3B38015538%3Bh)

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Messages in this topic (47)
________________________________________________________________________
1.9. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
Posted by: "Brenda" brendac313@yahoo.com brendac313
Date: Thu Jun 18, 2009 8:19 am ((PDT))

Don't be more dead weight...that's a good start. Your wife is excited and found a new life that she hasn't had in years, if she ever did. Everything is new and exciting and you have a chance to see things through her eyes. Be happy for her, listen to her, and go places with her. She may want to try new things, old things she couldn't do before...but just be there. Fellas are going to look no matter what age, size, or body style any of us have, they just make more noise about it when your skinny...that's all it is. Let them look, I look, none of us are dead yet...it's when it's touching it crosses a line. It's a new toy and it's Christmas time...enjoy. Things will calm down...help her think of things to do if she is active. Look, if someone is going to cheat, they are going to cheat and there is nothing anybody can do about it, but no sense driving anybody to it by being jealous and over-protective. Hanging on too tight just strangles. Let her
know your there, have fun, maybe the two of you plan something together to celebrate.

brenda

________________________________
From: "Pearson, John" <john.pearson@hp.com>
To: "afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com" <afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com>
Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 8:13:39 AM
Subject: RE: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old habits...help!!

Norma,

John Pearson
Inventory Analyst
Cell: 281-799-9118
Office @ Exel: 713-934-1536

____________ _________ _________ __
From: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com [mailto:afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com] On Behalf Of goldengyrl_4life
Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 7:39 AM
To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
Subject: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old habits...help! !

--- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com<mailto:afterweight losssurgery% 40yahoogroups. com>, Sheila Derrwaldt <sderrwaldt@ ...> wrote:
>
> Norma,
> I wish you a lot of luck. Your road ahead won't be easy but it will be healthier and saner.
> Big hugs,
> Sheila
>
>
>
>
> ____________ _________ _________ __
> From: Norma . Walczak <izzscruff2@ ...>
> To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com<mailto:afterweight losssurgery% 40yahoogroups. com>
> Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 7:15:18 PM
> Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help! !
>
>
>
>
>
> I have not had a chance to reply till now. Don't want my husband around while I am writings. I did not know that he had a drinking problem before we were married and it did not come out for the first few years, but after the surgery, the demon came out. He drinks every night, and I have learned to stay away from him even if it means to go to bed early. He is verbally abusive and even throws things and bangs doors. He has not touched me in over 2 years. My self esteem is rock bottom, but then I look at guys that I work with or have to interact with that try to talk to me and tell me that I am pretty. I have talked with our pastor who already knew we were at the end. She has tried to talk to us and every time he sits and cries like a baby which is his self defense to get the problem off of him. She caught on quickly to that stupid action. We no longer talk, he sits and smokes his cigarettes, drinks coffee in the morning then comes the booze. He has gained
> 120# and tells everyone why he is fat is that I force him to eat. Yes I cook meals, but he would rather have ice cream sundae, bananna splits, baked goods or greasy hamburgers that he gets while at work.
>
> Ok enough ranting. I guess that our marriage was never as strong as I thought it was, no one's fault, but know that I am not happy and need to get out soon for my own sanity.
>
> Norma
> --- On Wed, 6/17/09, goldengyrl_4life <goldengyrl_ 4life@ yahoo.com> wrote:
>
> From: goldengyrl_4life <goldengyrl_ 4life@ yahoo.com>
> Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help! !
> To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
> Date: Wednesday, June 17, 2009, 5:56 AM
>
> --- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com, "Victoria" <afterwls@ .> wrote:
> >
> > in my experience, I became a 'born again healthy person'. My ex-spouse was not interested in exercising, or losing any weight. He wanted the status quo to remain the same, that is, a nice 'safe' wife who didn't rock the lifestyle boat. When I lost weight and started dressing in a stylish, if not sexy manner, he protested by being verbally abusive and avoiding me, when he wasn't trying to sabotage my diet. He started drinking more (he already had a drinking problem). In short, he couldn't deal with the new me, and we grew apart, and finally, I gave up and left (but not until after 24 marriage counselling sessions).
> >
> > -Vic
> > group founder
> >
> > --- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com, "Pearson, John" <john.pearson@ > wrote:
> > >
> > > I am having issues in my marriage as well. My wife had the surgery in July of last year.
> > > Could you elaborate on "putting a strain on my marriage" what problems are you having if I'm not getting to personal.
> > >
> > > John Pearson
> >
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Messages in this topic (47)
________________________________________________________________________
1.10. Re: falling back into oldhabits...help!!
Posted by: "Kelly" kdies@verizon.net kellone2
Date: Thu Jun 18, 2009 8:25 am ((PDT))

I agree with Brenda. Well said
Kelly
Sent from her BlackBerry

-----Original Message-----
From: Brenda <brendac313@yahoo.com>

Date: Thu, 18 Jun 2009 08:19:50
To: <afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com>
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old
habits...help!!

Don't be more dead weight...that's a good start. Your wife is excited and found a new life that she hasn't had in years, if she ever did. Everything is new and exciting and you have a chance to see things through her eyes. Be happy for her, listen to her, and go places with her. She may want to try new things, old things she couldn't do before...but just be there. Fellas are going to look no matter what age, size, or body style any of us have, they just make more noise about it when your skinny...that's all it is. Let them look, I look, none of us are dead yet...it's when it's touching it crosses a line. It's a new toy and it's Christmas time...enjoy. Things will calm down...help her think of things to do if she is active. Look, if someone is going to cheat, they are going to cheat and there is nothing anybody can do about it, but no sense driving anybody to it by being jealous and over-protective. Hanging on too tight just strangles. Let her
know your there, have fun, maybe the two of you plan something together to celebrate.

brenda

________________________________
From: "Pearson, John" <john.pearson@hp.com>
To: "afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com" <afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com>
Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 8:13:39 AM
Subject: RE: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old habits...help!!

Norma,

Good luck in your situation I'm really sorry you have to feel the way you do after feeling so much better about yourself after surgery.
My situation is that I am a very insecure person always have been. Now that my wife has lost weight and is getting more attention from the fellas I get really jealous. I know this is something I need to work on so I am trying. Just don't know how.

John Pearson
Inventory Analyst
Cell: 281-799-9118
Office @ Exel: 713-934-1536

____________ _________ _________ __
From: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com [mailto:afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com] On Behalf Of goldengyrl_4life
Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 7:39 AM
To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
Subject: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old habits...help! !

I realized this morning that my post never showed so I am trying it again. I will be the first to admit that my marriage might not have been as strong as I thought it was but I never thought WLS would have been the reason for my divorce. My ex has adamently stated that after WLS he was no longer attracted to me. Now I realize that it was out of insecurity on his part. I never had his support during the pre-op procedures, therapy etc. He was so adament he didnt want me to have surgery. I remember coming out of surgery and getting back to my room and he was no where to be found for the next 4 hours. I eventually had to realize that I had to do this for me and me alone. I am very proud of the strides I have made but I am thankful to be rid of the 225 lb weight that would have loved for me to remaine 400lbs. I wish everyone much success and my prayers as this journey seems to continue.... .on and on....Enjoy the ride.

--- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com<mailto:afterweight losssurgery% 40yahoogroups. com>, Sheila Derrwaldt <sderrwaldt@ ...> wrote:
>
> Norma,
> I wish you a lot of luck. Your road ahead won't be easy but it will be healthier and saner.
> Big hugs,
> Sheila
>
>
>
>
> ____________ _________ _________ __
> From: Norma . Walczak <izzscruff2@ ...>
> To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com<mailto:afterweight losssurgery% 40yahoogroups. com>
> Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 7:15:18 PM
> Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help! !
>
>
>
>
>
> I have not had a chance to reply till now. Don't want my husband around while I am writings. I did not know that he had a drinking problem before we were married and it did not come out for the first few years, but after the surgery, the demon came out. He drinks every night, and I have learned to stay away from him even if it means to go to bed early. He is verbally abusive and even throws things and bangs doors. He has not touched me in over 2 years. My self esteem is rock bottom, but then I look at guys that I work with or have to interact with that try to talk to me and tell me that I am pretty. I have talked with our pastor who already knew we were at the end. She has tried to talk to us and every time he sits and cries like a baby which is his self defense to get the problem off of him. She caught on quickly to that stupid action. We no longer talk, he sits and smokes his cigarettes, drinks coffee in the morning then comes the booze. He has gained
> 120# and tells everyone why he is fat is that I force him to eat. Yes I cook meals, but he would rather have ice cream sundae, bananna splits, baked goods or greasy hamburgers that he gets while at work.
>
> Ok enough ranting. I guess that our marriage was never as strong as I thought it was, no one's fault, but know that I am not happy and need to get out soon for my own sanity.
>
> Norma
> --- On Wed, 6/17/09, goldengyrl_4life <goldengyrl_ 4life@ yahoo.com> wrote:
>
> From: goldengyrl_4life <goldengyrl_ 4life@ yahoo.com>
> Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help! !
> To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
> Date: Wednesday, June 17, 2009, 5:56 AM
>
> --- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com, "Victoria" <afterwls@ .> wrote:
> >
> > in my experience, I became a 'born again healthy person'. My ex-spouse was not interested in exercising, or losing any weight. He wanted the status quo to remain the same, that is, a nice 'safe' wife who didn't rock the lifestyle boat. When I lost weight and started dressing in a stylish, if not sexy manner, he protested by being verbally abusive and avoiding me, when he wasn't trying to sabotage my diet. He started drinking more (he already had a drinking problem). In short, he couldn't deal with the new me, and we grew apart, and finally, I gave up and left (but not until after 24 marriage counselling sessions).
> >
> > -Vic
> > group founder
> >
> > --- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com, "Pearson, John" <john.pearson@ > wrote:
> > >
> > > I am having issues in my marriage as well. My wife had the surgery in July of last year.
> > > Could you elaborate on "putting a strain on my marriage" what problems are you having if I'm not getting to personal.
> > >
> > > John Pearson
> >
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Messages in this topic (47)
________________________________________________________________________
1.11. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
Posted by: "Pearson, John" john.pearson@hp.com jp_unwinders
Date: Thu Jun 18, 2009 8:42 am ((PDT))

Thanks Brenda I know this it's just putting it into action that's the hard part.
Am I to let her go out by herself if I don't want to go?

John Pearson
Inventory Analyst
Cell: 281-799-9118
Office @ Exel: 713-934-1536

________________________________
From: afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com [mailto:afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com] On Behalf Of Brenda
Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 10:20 AM
To: afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old habits...help!!

brenda

________________________________
From: "Pearson, John" <john.pearson@hp.com<mailto:john.pearson%40hp.com>>
To: "afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com<mailto:afterweightlosssurgery%40yahoogroups.com>" <afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com<mailto:afterweightlosssurgery%40yahoogroups.com>>
Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 8:13:39 AM
Subject: RE: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old habits...help!!

Norma,

John Pearson
Inventory Analyst
Cell: 281-799-9118
Office @ Exel: 713-934-1536

____________ _________ _________ __
From: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com [mailto:afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com] On Behalf Of goldengyrl_4life
Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 7:39 AM
To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
Subject: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old habits...help! !

--- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com<mailto:afterweight losssurgery% 40yahoogroups. com>, Sheila Derrwaldt <sderrwaldt@ ...> wrote:
>
> Norma,
> I wish you a lot of luck. Your road ahead won't be easy but it will be healthier and saner.
> Big hugs,
> Sheila
>
>
>
>
> ____________ _________ _________ __
> From: Norma . Walczak <izzscruff2@ ...>
> To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com<mailto:afterweight losssurgery% 40yahoogroups. com>
> Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 7:15:18 PM
> Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help! !
>
>
>
>
>
> I have not had a chance to reply till now. Don't want my husband around while I am writings. I did not know that he had a drinking problem before we were married and it did not come out for the first few years, but after the surgery, the demon came out. He drinks every night, and I have learned to stay away from him even if it means to go to bed early. He is verbally abusive and even throws things and bangs doors. He has not touched me in over 2 years. My self esteem is rock bottom, but then I look at guys that I work with or have to interact with that try to talk to me and tell me that I am pretty. I have talked with our pastor who already knew we were at the end. She has tried to talk to us and every time he sits and cries like a baby which is his self defense to get the problem off of him. She caught on quickly to that stupid action. We no longer talk, he sits and smokes his cigarettes, drinks coffee in the morning then comes the booze. He has gained
> 120# and tells everyone why he is fat is that I force him to eat. Yes I cook meals, but he would rather have ice cream sundae, bananna splits, baked goods or greasy hamburgers that he gets while at work.
>
> Ok enough ranting. I guess that our marriage was never as strong as I thought it was, no one's fault, but know that I am not happy and need to get out soon for my own sanity.
>
> Norma
> --- On Wed, 6/17/09, goldengyrl_4life <goldengyrl_ 4life@ yahoo.com> wrote:
>
> From: goldengyrl_4life <goldengyrl_ 4life@ yahoo.com>
> Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help! !
> To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
> Date: Wednesday, June 17, 2009, 5:56 AM
>
> --- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com, "Victoria" <afterwls@ .> wrote:
> >
> > in my experience, I became a 'born again healthy person'. My ex-spouse was not interested in exercising, or losing any weight. He wanted the status quo to remain the same, that is, a nice 'safe' wife who didn't rock the lifestyle boat. When I lost weight and started dressing in a stylish, if not sexy manner, he protested by being verbally abusive and avoiding me, when he wasn't trying to sabotage my diet. He started drinking more (he already had a drinking problem). In short, he couldn't deal with the new me, and we grew apart, and finally, I gave up and left (but not until after 24 marriage counselling sessions).
> >
> > -Vic
> > group founder
> >
> > --- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com, "Pearson, John" <john.pearson@ > wrote:
> > >
> > > I am having issues in my marriage as well. My wife had the surgery in July of last year.
> > > Could you elaborate on "putting a strain on my marriage" what problems are you having if I'm not getting to personal.
> > >
> > > John Pearson
> >
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Messages in this topic (47)
________________________________________________________________________
1.12. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
Posted by: "Terri Bailey" terri.bailey56@yahoo.com terri.bailey56
Date: Thu Jun 18, 2009 9:14 am ((PDT))

Hi John,

Being both a survivor of a marriage to a jealous, possessive husband (which ended more than twenty years ago) and a fifteen-month-out weight loss surgery success, I wanted to respond to you. I love the way I feel now that I've lost over 100 pounds, but that hasn't changed my morals or the way I relate to men. I'm not going to hook up with the first man who compliments me. In fact, I wouldn't even date a man who knew me before my weight loss and was only interested after, because I am MUCH more than my body.

I really want to caution you to be careful with your wife. If she loves you, that hasn't changed because she lost weight. If you distrust and try to control her, trust me, you can kill that love. I understand that you're insecure - have you considered counseling, either by yourself and with your wife, or maybe even both? I think that would be a really good start. If you're serious about keeping your marriage working you are going to have to work on it. And yes, if you don't want to go out, let her go out. She has friends, she is her own person. You can't control her every move.

Best of luck with this. This is such a cool, exciting time for your wife, I hope you can learn to celebrate and enjoy it with her instead of worrying and resenting her progress.

Terri

--- On Thu, 6/18/09, Pearson, John <john.pearson@hp.com> wrote:

From: Pearson, John <john.pearson@hp.com>
Subject: RE: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
To: "afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com" <afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com>
Date: Thursday, June 18, 2009, 3:41 PM

Thanks Brenda I know this it's just putting it into action that's the hard part.

Am I to let her go out by herself if I don't want to go?

John Pearson

Inventory Analyst

Cell: 281-799-9118

Office @ Exel: 713-934-1536

____________ _________ _________ __

From: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com [mailto:afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com] On Behalf Of Brenda

Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 10:20 AM

To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com

Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old habits...help! !

Don't be more dead weight...that' s a good start. Your wife is excited and found a new life that she hasn't had in years, if she ever did. Everything is new and exciting and you have a chance to see things through her eyes. Be happy for her, listen to her, and go places with her. She may want to try new things, old things she couldn't do before...but just be there. Fellas are going to look no matter what age, size, or body style any of us have, they just make more noise about it when your skinny...that' s all it is. Let them look, I look, none of us are dead yet...it's when it's touching it crosses a line. It's a new toy and it's Christmas time...enjoy. Things will calm down...help her think of things to do if she is active. Look, if someone is going to cheat, they are going to cheat and there is nothing anybody can do about it, but no sense driving anybody to it by being jealous and over-protective. Hanging on too tight just strangles. Let her

know your there, have fun, maybe the two of you plan something together to celebrate.

brenda

____________ _________ _________ __

From: "Pearson, John" <john.pearson@ hp.com<mailto:john. pearson%40hp. com>>

To: "afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com<mailto:afterweight losssurgery% 40yahoogroups. com>" <afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com<mailto:afterweight losssurgery% 40yahoogroups. com>>

Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 8:13:39 AM

Subject: RE: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old habits...help! !

Norma,

Good luck in your situation I'm really sorry you have to feel the way you do after feeling so much better about yourself after surgery.

My situation is that I am a very insecure person always have been. Now that my wife has lost weight and is getting more attention from the fellas I get really jealous. I know this is something I need to work on so I am trying. Just don't know how.

John Pearson

Inventory Analyst

Cell: 281-799-9118

Office @ Exel: 713-934-1536

____________ _________ _________ __

From: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com [mailto:afterweight losssurg ery@yahoogroups. com] On Behalf Of goldengyrl_4life

Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 7:39 AM

To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com

Subject: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old habits...help! !

--- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com<mailto:afterwei ght losssurgery% 40yahoogroups. com>, Sheila Derrwaldt <sderrwaldt@ ...> wrote:

> Norma,

> I wish you a lot of luck. Your road ahead won't be easy but it will be healthier and saner.

> Big hugs,

> Sheila

> ____________ _________ _________ __

> From: Norma . Walczak <izzscruff2@ ...>

> To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com<mailto:afterwei ght losssurgery% 40yahoogroups. com>

> Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 7:15:18 PM

> Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help! !

> I have not had a chance to reply till now. Don't want my husband around while I am writings. I did not know that he had a drinking problem before we were married and it did not come out for the first few years, but after the surgery, the demon came out. He drinks every night, and I have learned to stay away from him even if it means to go to bed early. He is verbally abusive and even throws things and bangs doors. He has not touched me in over 2 years. My self esteem is rock bottom, but then I look at guys that I work with or have to interact with that try to talk to me and tell me that I am pretty. I have talked with our pastor who already knew we were at the end. She has tried to talk to us and every time he sits and cries like a baby which is his self defense to get the problem off of him. She caught on quickly to that stupid action. We no longer talk, he sits and smokes his cigarettes, drinks coffee in the morning then comes the booze. He has
gained

> 120# and tells everyone why he is fat is that I force him to eat. Yes I cook meals, but he would rather have ice cream sundae, bananna splits, baked goods or greasy hamburgers that he gets while at work.

> Ok enough ranting. I guess that our marriage was never as strong as I thought it was, no one's fault, but know that I am not happy and need to get out soon for my own sanity.

> Norma

> --- On Wed, 6/17/09, goldengyrl_4life <goldengyrl_ 4life@ yahoo.com> wrote:

> From: goldengyrl_4life <goldengyrl_ 4life@ yahoo.com>

> Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help! !

> To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com

> Date: Wednesday, June 17, 2009, 5:56 AM

> --- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com, "Victoria" <afterwls@ .> wrote:

> >

> > in my experience, I became a 'born again healthy person'. My ex-spouse was not interested in exercising, or losing any weight. He wanted the status quo to remain the same, that is, a nice 'safe' wife who didn't rock the lifestyle boat. When I lost weight and started dressing in a stylish, if not sexy manner, he protested by being verbally abusive and avoiding me, when he wasn't trying to sabotage my diet. He started drinking more (he already had a drinking problem). In short, he couldn't deal with the new me, and we grew apart, and finally, I gave up and left (but not until after 24 marriage counselling sessions).

> >

> > -Vic

> > group founder

> >

> > --- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com, "Pearson, John" <john.pearson@ > wrote:

> > >

> > > I am having issues in my marriage as well. My wife had the surgery in July of last year.

> > > Could you elaborate on "putting a strain on my marriage" what problems are you having if I'm not getting to personal.

> > >

> > > John Pearson

> >

> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Messages in this topic (47)
________________________________________________________________________
1.13. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
Posted by: "Brenda" brendac313@yahoo.com brendac313
Date: Thu Jun 18, 2009 9:35 am ((PDT))

She did before, didn't she. If you don't want to go and she does, then she goes. She's free, white, and over 21 so she doesn't really need your permission. Let her go..she'll come back. And if she was going to do anything,,,there are all kinds of covers, going to the store, dr appointment. If they want to cheat they will...you letting her go proves trust and you can't beat that in a relationship.

________________________________
From: "Pearson, John" <john.pearson@hp.com>
To: "afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com" <afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com>
Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 10:41:31 AM
Subject: RE: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old habits...help!!

Thanks Brenda I know this it's just putting it into action that's the hard part.
Am I to let her go out by herself if I don't want to go?

John Pearson
Inventory Analyst
Cell: 281-799-9118
Office @ Exel: 713-934-1536

____________ _________ _________ __
From: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com [mailto:afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com] On Behalf Of Brenda
Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 10:20 AM
To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old habits...help! !

Don't be more dead weight...that' s a good start. Your wife is excited and found a new life that she hasn't had in years, if she ever did. Everything is new and exciting and you have a chance to see things through her eyes. Be happy for her, listen to her, and go places with her. She may want to try new things, old things she couldn't do before...but just be there. Fellas are going to look no matter what age, size, or body style any of us have, they just make more noise about it when your skinny...that' s all it is. Let them look, I look, none of us are dead yet...it's when it's touching it crosses a line. It's a new toy and it's Christmas time...enjoy. Things will calm down...help her think of things to do if she is active. Look, if someone is going to cheat, they are going to cheat and there is nothing anybody can do about it, but no sense driving anybody to it by being jealous and over-protective. Hanging on too tight just strangles. Let her
know your there, have fun, maybe the two of you plan something together to celebrate.

brenda

____________ _________ _________ __
From: "Pearson, John" <john.pearson@ hp.com<mailto:john. pearson%40hp. com>>
To: "afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com<mailto:afterweight losssurgery% 40yahoogroups. com>" <afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com<mailto:afterweight losssurgery% 40yahoogroups. com>>
Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 8:13:39 AM
Subject: RE: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old habits...help! !

Norma,

John Pearson
Inventory Analyst
Cell: 281-799-9118
Office @ Exel: 713-934-1536

____________ _________ _________ __
From: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com [mailto:afterweight losssurg ery@yahoogroups. com] On Behalf Of goldengyrl_4life
Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 7:39 AM
To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
Subject: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old habits...help! !

--- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com<mailto:afterwei ght losssurgery% 40yahoogroups. com>, Sheila Derrwaldt <sderrwaldt@ ...> wrote:
>
> Norma,
> I wish you a lot of luck. Your road ahead won't be easy but it will be healthier and saner.
> Big hugs,
> Sheila
>
>
>
>
> ____________ _________ _________ __
> From: Norma . Walczak <izzscruff2@ ...>
> To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com<mailto:afterwei ght losssurgery% 40yahoogroups. com>
> Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 7:15:18 PM
> Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help! !
>
>
>
>
>
> I have not had a chance to reply till now. Don't want my husband around while I am writings. I did not know that he had a drinking problem before we were married and it did not come out for the first few years, but after the surgery, the demon came out. He drinks every night, and I have learned to stay away from him even if it means to go to bed early. He is verbally abusive and even throws things and bangs doors. He has not touched me in over 2 years. My self esteem is rock bottom, but then I look at guys that I work with or have to interact with that try to talk to me and tell me that I am pretty. I have talked with our pastor who already knew we were at the end. She has tried to talk to us and every time he sits and cries like a baby which is his self defense to get the problem off of him. She caught on quickly to that stupid action. We no longer talk, he sits and smokes his cigarettes, drinks coffee in the morning then comes the booze. He has gained
> 120# and tells everyone why he is fat is that I force him to eat. Yes I cook meals, but he would rather have ice cream sundae, bananna splits, baked goods or greasy hamburgers that he gets while at work.
>
> Ok enough ranting. I guess that our marriage was never as strong as I thought it was, no one's fault, but know that I am not happy and need to get out soon for my own sanity.
>
> Norma
> --- On Wed, 6/17/09, goldengyrl_4life <goldengyrl_ 4life@ yahoo.com> wrote:
>
> From: goldengyrl_4life <goldengyrl_ 4life@ yahoo.com>
> Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help! !
> To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
> Date: Wednesday, June 17, 2009, 5:56 AM
>
> --- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com, "Victoria" <afterwls@ .> wrote:
> >
> > in my experience, I became a 'born again healthy person'. My ex-spouse was not interested in exercising, or losing any weight. He wanted the status quo to remain the same, that is, a nice 'safe' wife who didn't rock the lifestyle boat. When I lost weight and started dressing in a stylish, if not sexy manner, he protested by being verbally abusive and avoiding me, when he wasn't trying to sabotage my diet. He started drinking more (he already had a drinking problem). In short, he couldn't deal with the new me, and we grew apart, and finally, I gave up and left (but not until after 24 marriage counselling sessions).
> >
> > -Vic
> > group founder
> >
> > --- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com, "Pearson, John" <john.pearson@ > wrote:
> > >
> > > I am having issues in my marriage as well. My wife had the surgery in July of last year.
> > > Could you elaborate on "putting a strain on my marriage" what problems are you having if I'm not getting to personal.
> > >
> > > John Pearson
> >
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Messages in this topic (47)
________________________________________________________________________
1.14. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
Posted by: "Pearson, John" john.pearson@hp.com jp_unwinders
Date: Thu Jun 18, 2009 9:49 am ((PDT))

Thanks everyone for the excellent advice I will work on it.

John Pearson

________________________________
From: afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com [mailto:afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com] On Behalf Of Brenda
Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 11:35 AM
To: afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old habits...help!!

________________________________
From: "Pearson, John" <john.pearson@hp.com<mailto:john.pearson%40hp.com>>
To: "afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com<mailto:afterweightlosssurgery%40yahoogroups.com>" <afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com<mailto:afterweightlosssurgery%40yahoogroups.com>>
Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 10:41:31 AM
Subject: RE: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old habits...help!!

Thanks Brenda I know this it's just putting it into action that's the hard part.
Am I to let her go out by herself if I don't want to go?

John Pearson
Inventory Analyst
Cell: 281-799-9118
Office @ Exel: 713-934-1536

____________ _________ _________ __
From: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com [mailto:afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com] On Behalf Of Brenda
Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 10:20 AM
To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old habits...help! !

Don't be more dead weight...that' s a good start. Your wife is excited and found a new life that she hasn't had in years, if she ever did. Everything is new and exciting and you have a chance to see things through her eyes. Be happy for her, listen to her, and go places with her. She may want to try new things, old things she couldn't do before...but just be there. Fellas are going to look no matter what age, size, or body style any of us have, they just make more noise about it when your skinny...that' s all it is. Let them look, I look, none of us are dead yet...it's when it's touching it crosses a line. It's a new toy and it's Christmas time...enjoy. Things will calm down...help her think of things to do if she is active. Look, if someone is going to cheat, they are going to cheat and there is nothing anybody can do about it, but no sense driving anybody to it by being jealous and over-protective. Hanging on too tight just strangles. Let her
know your there, have fun, maybe the two of you plan something together to celebrate.

brenda

____________ _________ _________ __
From: "Pearson, John" <john.pearson@ hp.com<mailto:john. pearson%40hp. com>>
To: "afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com<mailto:afterweight losssurgery% 40yahoogroups. com>" <afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com<mailto:afterweight losssurgery% 40yahoogroups. com>>
Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 8:13:39 AM
Subject: RE: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old habits...help! !

Norma,

John Pearson
Inventory Analyst
Cell: 281-799-9118
Office @ Exel: 713-934-1536

____________ _________ _________ __
From: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com [mailto:afterweight losssurg ery@yahoogroups. com] On Behalf Of goldengyrl_4life
Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 7:39 AM
To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
Subject: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old habits...help! !

--- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com<mailto:afterwei ght losssurgery% 40yahoogroups. com>, Sheila Derrwaldt <sderrwaldt@ ...> wrote:
>
> Norma,
> I wish you a lot of luck. Your road ahead won't be easy but it will be healthier and saner.
> Big hugs,
> Sheila
>
>
>
>
> ____________ _________ _________ __
> From: Norma . Walczak <izzscruff2@ ...>
> To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com<mailto:afterwei ght losssurgery% 40yahoogroups. com>
> Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 7:15:18 PM
> Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help! !
>
>
>
>
>
> I have not had a chance to reply till now. Don't want my husband around while I am writings. I did not know that he had a drinking problem before we were married and it did not come out for the first few years, but after the surgery, the demon came out. He drinks every night, and I have learned to stay away from him even if it means to go to bed early. He is verbally abusive and even throws things and bangs doors. He has not touched me in over 2 years. My self esteem is rock bottom, but then I look at guys that I work with or have to interact with that try to talk to me and tell me that I am pretty. I have talked with our pastor who already knew we were at the end. She has tried to talk to us and every time he sits and cries like a baby which is his self defense to get the problem off of him. She caught on quickly to that stupid action. We no longer talk, he sits and smokes his cigarettes, drinks coffee in the morning then comes the booze. He has gained
> 120# and tells everyone why he is fat is that I force him to eat. Yes I cook meals, but he would rather have ice cream sundae, bananna splits, baked goods or greasy hamburgers that he gets while at work.
>
> Ok enough ranting. I guess that our marriage was never as strong as I thought it was, no one's fault, but know that I am not happy and need to get out soon for my own sanity.
>
> Norma
> --- On Wed, 6/17/09, goldengyrl_4life <goldengyrl_ 4life@ yahoo.com> wrote:
>
> From: goldengyrl_4life <goldengyrl_ 4life@ yahoo.com>
> Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help! !
> To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
> Date: Wednesday, June 17, 2009, 5:56 AM
>
> --- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com, "Victoria" <afterwls@ .> wrote:
> >
> > in my experience, I became a 'born again healthy person'. My ex-spouse was not interested in exercising, or losing any weight. He wanted the status quo to remain the same, that is, a nice 'safe' wife who didn't rock the lifestyle boat. When I lost weight and started dressing in a stylish, if not sexy manner, he protested by being verbally abusive and avoiding me, when he wasn't trying to sabotage my diet. He started drinking more (he already had a drinking problem). In short, he couldn't deal with the new me, and we grew apart, and finally, I gave up and left (but not until after 24 marriage counselling sessions).
> >
> > -Vic
> > group founder
> >
> > --- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com, "Pearson, John" <john.pearson@ > wrote:
> > >
> > > I am having issues in my marriage as well. My wife had the surgery in July of last year.
> > > Could you elaborate on "putting a strain on my marriage" what problems are you having if I'm not getting to personal.
> > >
> > > John Pearson
> >
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Messages in this topic (47)
________________________________________________________________________
1.15. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
Posted by: "Cheeks7514@aol.com" Cheeks7514@aol.com saraamy1985
Date: Thu Jun 18, 2009 9:54 am ((PDT))

Could you please explain what you mean?? I'm 59, female, etc. This is
new to me. A question for the experts. I am now about 10 days out and it
seems that everytime I drink my protein shakes I get cramps and "dump". Is
this "normal"?
Judy
PRAISE God for the Roses. THANK God for the thorns.

In a message dated 6/18/2009 8:11:28 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time,
sderrwaldt@yahoo.com writes:

No, I don't get more attention from guys! I'm 57!!! No one looks at
middle-aged women. :) But, I notice that people don't notice me like they did
when I was heavy. I just fit in better every place, and feel so much healthier
and shopping is a lot easier. I would say more confidence because of less
shame.

________________________________
From: "Pearson, John" <_john.pearson@john.p_ (mailto:john.pearson@hp.com) >
To: "_afterweightlosssurgafterweightlosssaft_
(mailto:afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com) " <_afterweightlosssurgafterweightlosssaft_
(mailto:afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com) >
Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 4:40:20 PM
Subject: RE: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old
habits...help!S

So from someone that has had the surgery can you tell me what is different
, of course besides being littler, in your life for example are you
getting more attention from the guys or more self confidence what is different
over all?

John Pearson

From: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com [mailto:afterweightFrom:
afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com [mailto:after
Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 1:29 PM
To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old
habits...help! !

Hi Karen,
I agree 100% and I think the doctors and pre-surgerical psychologist told
us the same thing. It's very true. I'd like to add that if a large part of
someone's relationship is food centered and eating out and things like
that, it's going to be rough going for some time because the last thing a
post-op wants to do is eat. You want to lose!
Talk it all out in advance if you can.
Sheila

____________ _________ _________ __
From: Karen Cortez <kikae1@comcast. net<mailto:kikae1% 40comcast. net>>
To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups.
com<mailto:afterweimailto:afterwei<WBR>ght losssurgery% 40>
Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 12:08:24 PM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old
habits...help! !

Hello,

I have been married for 15 years, together for 18 years. We are still
going like we always have. He is concerned about my weight because I have
gained so much back, but, other than that there is no real problems. I will tell
you what my surgeon told us at the meeting. If you have a good marriage it
can get better, if you have a bad marriage it will probably get worse. If
you figure some men think of a fat spouse as SAFE then you understand. Also
the new attention from other men or women can make the current partner
feel very insecure and it is hard sometimes to make them understand that it is
just what it is and if you are truly happy then it will not hurt the
relationship.

Karen Cortez

Is there anyone out there that has had success with staying married and
improving their marriage after surgery? I have just been approved for surgery
and will be celebrating my 1st anniversary this weekend. All this talk is
very discouraging to me! I would rather be overweight with the love of my
life because we are very happy than to be at a much lower weight and be
miserable. I am very healthy other than my weight so I guess I am on the fence
right now!

Gosh, that sounds so much like what I am going through right now. It just
makes me want to cry. I told my husband when I got the surgery (and I truly
meant it) that we were not going to be among the stastitics.

But I just can't take much more.

Janet

____________ _________ _________ __
From: Victoria <afterwls@aol. com>
To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups.To: a
Sent: Tuesday, June 16, 2009 10:09:19 PM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old
habits...help! !

in my experience, I became a 'born again healthy person'. My ex-spouse was
not interested in exercising, or losing any weight. He wanted the status
quo to remain the same, that is, a nice 'safe' wife who didn't rock the
lifestyle boat. When I lost weight and started dressing in a stylish, if not
sexy manner, he protested by being verbally abusive and avoiding me, when he
wasn't trying to sabotage my diet. He started drinking more (he already had
a drinking problem). In short, he couldn't deal with the new me, and we
grew apart, and finally, I gave up and left (but not until after 24 marriage
counselling sessions).

-Vic
group founder

--- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com, "Pearson, John"
<john.pearson@ ...> wrote:
>
> I am having issues in my marriage as well. My wife had the surgery in
July of last year.
> Could you elaborate on "putting a strain on my marriage" what problems
are you having if I'm not getting to personal.
>
> John Pearson

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

**************Download the AOL Classifieds Toolbar for local deals at your
fingertips.
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Messages in this topic (47)
________________________________________________________________________
1.16. Keeping Us Safe
Posted by: "Dorothy M. Rosa Durkee" branta@cebridge.net branta_canadensis
Date: Thu Jun 18, 2009 10:07 am ((PDT))

Those struggling with a troubled relationship (as I have) --
especially where substance abuse and/or violence is involved -- who
use an easily recognizable name and e-mail address when posting to
on-line forums may wish to consider changing their email account and
settings from one easily recognized by the spouse to something more
protective of their identity/privacy, and then re-joining existing
forums under the new name and address. Example: if you post to an
online forum from:

[your name]@name-of-your-isp.net

your spouse can google your name and some likely keyword (for
example, "Your Name + WLS") and, by joining the forum, read your
posts. In many forums, the membership list is visible to all members.
Any of this could further complicate already complicated
relationships.

Suggestion: get a Google, Yahoo, or similar on-line email account;
create a screen name your spouse will not recognize; re-join and post
from that address. You can continue using your regular e-mail address
for ordinary mail and just use the Google/Yahoo account for posting
to and reading on-line forums.

My intention here is not to discourage participation, but to
encourage all to take all appropriate precautions to stay safe.

Dorothy D.
Texas
--

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Messages in this topic (47)
________________________________________________________________________
1.17. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
Posted by: "TheAgora81@aol.com" TheAgora81@aol.com theagora81
Date: Thu Jun 18, 2009 10:12 am ((PDT))

You might be lacotse intolerant, try soy and see if it works better.

peace lee

**************Dell Days of Deals! June 15-24 - A New Deal Everyday!
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Messages in this topic (47)
________________________________________________________________________
1.18. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
Posted by: "Cheeks7514@aol.com" Cheeks7514@aol.com saraamy1985
Date: Thu Jun 18, 2009 10:52 am ((PDT))

That's what I thought. I'll try that.
Thanks
Judy

PRAISE God for the Roses. THANK God for the thorns.

In a message dated 6/18/2009 1:14:02 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,
TheAgora81@aol.com writes:

You might be lacotse intolerant, try soy and see if it works better.

peace lee

************************<WBR>**Dell Days of Deals! June 15-24 - A Ne
(_http://pr.atwola.http://pr.atwhttp://pr.atwolahttp://pr.atwolahttp://pr.ht
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

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fingertips.
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Messages in this topic (47)
________________________________________________________________________
1.19. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
Posted by: "Kelly" kdies@verizon.net kellone2
Date: Thu Jun 18, 2009 12:08 pm ((PDT))

I do have to say that my husband was all for my surgery. Of course he saw
things that would benefit him in the long run... lol (if you know what I
mean).
I am so happy to have his support and understanding. I cant wait til he gets
home from this deployment to see me! I was only 5 months post op when he
left for deployment. Now I am 14 months post op and 117lbs lighter ;)

Kelly

----- Original Message -----
From: "kelli hodges" <keldred24@hotmail.com>
To: <afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com>
Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 10:14 AM
Subject: RE: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old
habits...help!!

i understand...my husband did not want me to have the surgery either.
luckily he is ok with it now but he is not happy that i have lost 80
lbs...but i am happy. so i think he is ok with it now. my mother says that
he liked me heavy because he didnt have to worry that someone else would
want me...she thinks its insecurity also. i think my marriage is fine but
who really knows my mother was married for 25yrs before her divorce and she
didnt have wls...i figure if he cant love me smaller than he never loved me
at all.

kelli

To: afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com
From: goldengyrl_4life@yahoo.com
Date: Thu, 18 Jun 2009 12:38:46 +0000
Subject: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old
habits...help!!

I realized this morning that my post never showed so I am trying it again. I
will be the first to admit that my marriage might not have been as strong as
I thought it was but I never thought WLS would have been the reason for my
divorce. My ex has adamently stated that after WLS he was no longer
attracted to me. Now I realize that it was out of insecurity on his part. I
never had his support during the pre-op procedures, therapy etc. He was so
adament he didnt want me to have surgery. I remember coming out of surgery
and getting back to my room and he was no where to be found for the next 4
hours. I eventually had to realize that I had to do this for me and me
alone. I am very proud of the strides I have made but I am thankful to be
rid of the 225 lb weight that would have loved for me to remaine 400lbs. I
wish everyone much success and my prayers as this journey seems to
continue.....on and on....Enjoy the ride.

--- In afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com, Sheila Derrwaldt
<sderrwaldt@...> wrote:
>
> Norma,
> I wish you a lot of luck. Your road ahead won't be easy but it will be
> healthier and saner.
> Big hugs,
> Sheila
>
>
>
>
> ________________________________
> From: Norma . Walczak <izzscruff2@...>
> To: afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com
> Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 7:15:18 PM
> Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old
> habits...help!!
>
>
>
>
>
> I have not had a chance to reply till now. Don't want my husband around
> while I am writings. I did not know that he had a drinking problem before
> we were married and it did not come out for the first few years, but after
> the surgery, the demon came out. He drinks every night, and I have learned
> to stay away from him even if it means to go to bed early. He is verbally
> abusive and even throws things and bangs doors. He has not touched me in
> over 2 years. My self esteem is rock bottom, but then I look at guys that
> I work with or have to interact with that try to talk to me and tell me
> that I am pretty. I have talked with our pastor who already knew we were
> at the end. She has tried to talk to us and every time he sits and cries
> like a baby which is his self defense to get the problem off of him. She
> caught on quickly to that stupid action. We no longer talk, he sits and
> smokes his cigarettes, drinks coffee in the morning then comes the booze.
> He has gained
> 120# and tells everyone why he is fat is that I force him to eat. Yes I
> cook meals, but he would rather have ice cream sundae, bananna splits,
> baked goods or greasy hamburgers that he gets while at work.
>
> Ok enough ranting. I guess that our marriage was never as strong as I
> thought it was, no one's fault, but know that I am not happy and need to
> get out soon for my own sanity.
>
> Norma
> --- On Wed, 6/17/09, goldengyrl_4life <goldengyrl_4life@ yahoo.com> wrote:
>
> From: goldengyrl_4life <goldengyrl_4life@ yahoo.com>
> Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old
> habits...help! !
> To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
> Date: Wednesday, June 17, 2009, 5:56 AM
>
> --- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com, "Victoria" <afterwls@ .>
> wrote:
> >
> > in my experience, I became a 'born again healthy person'. My ex-spouse
> > was not interested in exercising, or losing any weight. He wanted the
> > status quo to remain the same, that is, a nice 'safe' wife who didn't
> > rock the lifestyle boat. When I lost weight and started dressing in a
> > stylish, if not sexy manner, he protested by being verbally abusive and
> > avoiding me, when he wasn't trying to sabotage my diet. He started
> > drinking more (he already had a drinking problem). In short, he couldn't
> > deal with the new me, and we grew apart, and finally, I gave up and left
> > (but not until after 24 marriage counselling sessions).
> >
> > -Vic
> > group founder
> >
> > --- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com, "Pearson, John"
> > <john.pearson@ > wrote:
> > >
> > > I am having issues in my marriage as well. My wife had the surgery in
> > > July of last year.
> > > Could you elaborate on "putting a strain on my marriage" what problems
> > > are you having if I'm not getting to personal.
> > >
> > > John Pearson
> >
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

_________________________________________________________________
Hotmail® has ever-growing storage! Don't worry about storage limits.
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

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Messages in this topic (47)
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________________________________________________________________________
2a. unsubcribe
Posted by: "rockinrobin5457" rockinrobin5457@yahoo.com rockinrobin5457
Date: Wed Jun 17, 2009 7:19 pm ((PDT))

I want to unsubscribe from the group but can't figure out how. I can't find that option. Please unsubsribe since I don't feel I can benefit any longer. Thank you and good luck to everyone.

Messages in this topic (3)
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2b. Re: unsubcribe
Posted by: "Lin Hunnicutt" lhsh@bellsouth.net linsue799
Date: Thu Jun 18, 2009 2:57 am ((PDT))

You need to send a blank message to
afterweightlosssurgery-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com and then follow the
prompts.
Lin and Major
lhsh@bellsouth.net
----- Original Message -----
From: "rockinrobin5457" <rockinrobin5457@yahoo.com>
To: <afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com>
Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 10:19 PM
Subject: [After Weight Loss Surgery] unsubcribe

I want to unsubscribe from the group but can't figure out how. I can't find
that option. Please unsubsribe since I don't feel I can benefit any longer.
Thank you and good luck to everyone.

Messages in this topic (3)
________________________________________________________________________
2c. Re: unsubcribe
Posted by: "Kelly" kdies@verizon.net kellone2
Date: Thu Jun 18, 2009 3:18 am ((PDT))

We wish you would have stayed. I'm sure you would have had something beneficial to the group if you would have posted more and let us know about you. If you do decide to leave, best of luck with everything. You don't have to go!
~Kel
Sent from her BlackBerry

-----Original Message-----
From: "rockinrobin5457" <rockinrobin5457@yahoo.com>

Date: Thu, 18 Jun 2009 02:19:42
To: <afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com>
Subject: [After Weight Loss Surgery] unsubcribe

I want to unsubscribe from the group but can't figure out how. I can't find that option. Please unsubsribe since I don't feel I can benefit any longer. Thank you and good luck to everyone.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Messages in this topic (3)
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3. Norma
Posted by: "Kelly" kdies@verizon.net kellone2
Date: Thu Jun 18, 2009 8:34 am ((PDT))

Not saying that you should do this, but I think for the sake of yourself ---> you need to focus on yourself for once. If that means removing yourself from your current situation, then so be it. You should have someone that is supportive, proud of you, Someone who compliments everything about you, that's there for you. You shouldn't have to live with someone so negative, jealous or damaging to your mental and physical health. This is your choice. I hate to see you so unhappy with everything.
Now, for the compliments at work and the other guys? Suck it up, and be happy with it ;) Take all the compliments you can get ;)
YOU DESERVE THEM!

Kelly

----- Original Message -----
From: Norma . Walczak
To: afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 7:15 PM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help!!

From: goldengyrl_4life <goldengyrl_4life@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help!!
To: afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com
Date: Wednesday, June 17, 2009, 5:56 AM

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Messages in this topic (1)
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4a. Re: Introduction - New Memeber
Posted by: "maria zarragoitia" mrzarragoitia@yahoo.com mrzarragoitia
Date: Thu Jun 18, 2009 9:05 am ((PDT))

good luck charolette in your surgery we will be in contact. maria

________________________________
From: Kelly <kdies@verizon.net>
To: After WLS <afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com>
Sent: Tuesday, June 16, 2009 8:10:08 AM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Introduction - New Memeber

Good luck today Charolette! I'll be thinking of you and waiting for an update!
~Kel
Sent from her BlackBerry

-----Original Message-----
From: Charlotte <toretaleweaver@yahoo.com>

Date: Mon, 15 Jun 2009 17:08:12
To: <afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com>
Subject: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Introduction - New Memeber

Hi, my name is Charlotte. I'm 31 and from Indiana.
I'm a notorius lurker....sorry!
I'm actually having my RNY tomorrow (6/16/09). Have a wonderful, supporting husband who has taken tomorrow off to be with me before and after.
I joined this group because, even though my husband is VERY supportive, I know there may be issues after surgery...that he just won't understand. He's rail thin and always has been. I can cry on his shoulder, but he's never been where I am, nor where I'm going. So I will need people like yourselves, who get it, and can give me feedback that I can use.
Will be sure to post when I get home, to let you all know.

Charlotte

"Men and women belong to different species, and communication between them is a science still in its infancy." ~ Bill Cosby

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Messages in this topic (8)
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5. Insurance Approval
Posted by: "Le" sugarnspice0001@yahoo.com sugarnspice0001
Date: Thu Jun 18, 2009 12:43 pm ((PDT))

Hi,

I have been lurking for a few weeks while in the process of seeing my doctor to document weight loss or lack of. I was wondering how long it took for you all to get insurance approval? I have co-morbidity issues (need both knees and hips replaced, high bp, high cholesterol, etc.) and still have to be seen for six months by my family physician.

At the first seminar I attended, the assistant said I could be seen in a month, but then changed her story when I took the paperwork to my doctor. I am so frustrated and in a lot of pain. I truly feel this would help me so much. I have never been thin and I know the weight contributes to much of my problem. On top of this, it is quite possible I may be laid off due to budget-cutbacks from this new administration (a WHOLE 'nuther topic!).

I was just wondering what you all had to go through for your insurance to approve. Also, FYI - I am in Alabama.

Thanks!
Le

Messages in this topic (1)

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Thursday, June 18, 2009

[After Weight Loss Surgery] Digest Number 1885

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