Topics in this digest:
1a. needing advice
From: Tracy K.
1b. Re: needing advice
From: Pearson, John
1c. Re: needing advice
From: Tracy K.
2a. my confessions and update
From: Jimi Kokko
2b. Re: my confessions and update
From: Kelly
3.1. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
From: Cheeks7514@aol.com
3.2. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
From: Kelly
3.3. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
From: Kelly
3.4. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
From: Sheila Derrwaldt
3.5. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
From: Sheila Derrwaldt
3.6. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
From: Sheila Derrwaldt
3.7. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
From: Cheeks7514@aol.com
3.8. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
From: Kelly
3.9. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
From: TheAgora81@aol.com
3.10. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
From: Kelly
3.11. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
From: TheAgora81@aol.com
3.12. Re: falling back into oldhabits...help!!
From: Kelly
3.13. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
From: Sheila Derrwaldt
4.1. Re: falling back intooldhabits...help!!
From: Sheila Derrwaldt
4.2. Re: falling back intooldhabits...help!!
From: Kelly
4.3. Re: falling back intooldhabits...help!!
From: Sheila Derrwaldt
5a. Re: Lactose Intolerant?
From: patty7194@aol.com
5b. Re: Lactose Intolerant?
From: TheAgora81@aol.com
5c. Re: Lactose Intolerant?
From: Kelly
6a. Hi all
From: Brenda
Messages
________________________________________________________________________
1a. needing advice
Posted by: "Tracy K." gastricgal208@yahoo.com gastricgal208
Date: Fri Jun 19, 2009 11:50 am ((PDT))
Sorry I haven't been around in a while, but I've been busy and have been sick for like 5-6 weeks.
I saw my nutritionist on Tuesday and she's rather concerned. I'm down to 118 and have lost muscle mass. She told me that my body is starting to attack my muscles. She wants me to start eating 1500-1800 calories a day. I'm so weak it isn't funny. NO energy. No strength. Just overall blah.
I'm at a point now that I'm eating whatever I want. I've eaten 2 big macs this week plus pizza, nachos, tacos. Just to get up the calorie count. I was up to 121 yesterday and I jumped for glee. Today I'm back down to 118. Even after eating a lot yesterday, I still lost 3 pounds. I'm drinking protein shakes, eating protein bars and still nothing. She'd like to see me gain about 20 pounds.
Needing advice.
~Tracy K.
252/118/140-145
surgery 2-27-08
Messages in this topic (3)
________________________________________________________________________
1b. Re: needing advice
Posted by: "Pearson, John" john.pearson@hp.com jp_unwinders
Date: Fri Jun 19, 2009 12:03 pm ((PDT))
Tracy,
My wife was the same way and after going to the dr. she found that she had no zero iron in her blood. She was also supposed to have a count of 12 on her blood and it was down to 5.
Check this out my wife has had blood and iron transfusions and she feels great.
John Pearson
________________________________
From: afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com [mailto:afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com] On Behalf Of Tracy K.
Sent: Friday, June 19, 2009 1:51 PM
To: WeightLossSurgeryFS; afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com
Subject: [After Weight Loss Surgery] needing advice
Sorry I haven't been around in a while, but I've been busy and have been sick for like 5-6 weeks.
I saw my nutritionist on Tuesday and she's rather concerned. I'm down to 118 and have lost muscle mass. She told me that my body is starting to attack my muscles. She wants me to start eating 1500-1800 calories a day. I'm so weak it isn't funny. NO energy. No strength. Just overall blah.
I'm at a point now that I'm eating whatever I want. I've eaten 2 big macs this week plus pizza, nachos, tacos. Just to get up the calorie count. I was up to 121 yesterday and I jumped for glee. Today I'm back down to 118. Even after eating a lot yesterday, I still lost 3 pounds. I'm drinking protein shakes, eating protein bars and still nothing. She'd like to see me gain about 20 pounds.
Needing advice.
~Tracy K.
252/118/140-145
surgery 2-27-08
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Messages in this topic (3)
________________________________________________________________________
1c. Re: needing advice
Posted by: "Tracy K." gastricgal208@yahoo.com gastricgal208
Date: Fri Jun 19, 2009 1:29 pm ((PDT))
Thanks John
I have had extensive blood work done, and everything came back normal except my iron was just a tiny bit low, but she said that it wasn't low enough to take suplements.
~Tracy K.
252/118/140-145
surgery 2-27-08
--- On Fri, 6/19/09, Pearson, John <john.pearson@hp.com> wrote:
From: Pearson, John <john.pearson@hp.com>
Subject: RE: [After Weight Loss Surgery] needing advice
To: "afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com" <afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com>
Date: Friday, June 19, 2009, 7:01 PM
Tracy,
My wife was the same way and after going to the dr. she found that she had no zero iron in her blood. She was also supposed to have a count of 12 on her blood and it was down to 5.
Check this out my wife has had blood and iron transfusions and she feels great.
John Pearson
____________ _________ _________ __
From: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com [mailto:afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com] On Behalf Of Tracy K.
Sent: Friday, June 19, 2009 1:51 PM
To: WeightLossSurgeryFS ; afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
Subject: [After Weight Loss Surgery] needing advice
Sorry I haven't been around in a while, but I've been busy and have been sick for like 5-6 weeks.
I saw my nutritionist on Tuesday and she's rather concerned. I'm down to 118 and have lost muscle mass. She told me that my body is starting to attack my muscles. She wants me to start eating 1500-1800 calories a day. I'm so weak it isn't funny. NO energy. No strength. Just overall blah.
I'm at a point now that I'm eating whatever I want. I've eaten 2 big macs this week plus pizza, nachos, tacos. Just to get up the calorie count. I was up to 121 yesterday and I jumped for glee. Today I'm back down to 118. Even after eating a lot yesterday, I still lost 3 pounds. I'm drinking protein shakes, eating protein bars and still nothing. She'd like to see me gain about 20 pounds.
Needing advice.
~Tracy K.
252/118/140- 145
surgery 2-27-08
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Messages in this topic (3)
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
2a. my confessions and update
Posted by: "Jimi Kokko" jimilynkokko@gmail.com jeminimom
Date: Fri Jun 19, 2009 12:11 pm ((PDT))
Hi it's me Jimi. I been busy with the kids. They have been sick the last
weeks of school. Now we have been on summer break. I am also working on
buying a house and running to various appointments. I just got my computer
back. I had six viruses thanks to my 11 yo daughter and her websurfing. I
am 3 mo out as of yesterday. I am down 63# In the last month I have
finally been able to keep some foods down. I just got an ulcer medication
yesterday (there was a problem with pre-authorization). I been trying to
exercise but I am so weak. I was aiming for 10,000 steps a day but I am
lucky if I get in 3,000 and that's on a good day! I haven't been doing my
vitamins and protein lately. I also been drinking diet soda on occassion.
I really need to get back on the ball. It's been so hard for me with first
the stricture and then the ulcer. Welcome to all the new members.
Jimi
--
334/271/135
RNY
Surgery 3-18-09
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Messages in this topic (2)
________________________________________________________________________
2b. Re: my confessions and update
Posted by: "Kelly" kdies@verizon.net kellone2
Date: Fri Jun 19, 2009 12:52 pm ((PDT))
63# is wonderful Jimi. I've been thinking of you too. Make sure you get your vitamins in daily, Dont skip them. That could be why you are feeling like crap. I upped my B12 a little and Iron and feel a little more energetic.
Keep on track. You are doing great. So glad to hear from you!!!
I think i have you on my facebook too
Kelly
----- Original Message -----
From: Jimi Kokko
To: afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Friday, June 19, 2009 3:10 PM
Subject: [After Weight Loss Surgery] my confessions and update
Hi it's me Jimi. I been busy with the kids. They have been sick the last
weeks of school. Now we have been on summer break. I am also working on
buying a house and running to various appointments. I just got my computer
back. I had six viruses thanks to my 11 yo daughter and her websurfing. I
am 3 mo out as of yesterday. I am down 63# In the last month I have
finally been able to keep some foods down. I just got an ulcer medication
yesterday (there was a problem with pre-authorization). I been trying to
exercise but I am so weak. I was aiming for 10,000 steps a day but I am
lucky if I get in 3,000 and that's on a good day! I haven't been doing my
vitamins and protein lately. I also been drinking diet soda on occassion.
I really need to get back on the ball. It's been so hard for me with first
the stricture and then the ulcer. Welcome to all the new members.
Jimi
--
334/271/135
RNY
Surgery 3-18-09
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Messages in this topic (2)
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
3.1. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
Posted by: "Cheeks7514@aol.com" Cheeks7514@aol.com saraamy1985
Date: Fri Jun 19, 2009 12:53 pm ((PDT))
Thanks guys for the advise.
I was told 60 to 80 grams of protein. Between the instant breakfast,
milk and GNC 100% whey protein powder (21 gms per scoop) I am getting the
desired protein. It is just causing me pain, and cramping. I did go out
and buy the lactaid to try for dinner. Getting 64 ounces of fluid is not a
problem. I have always been a water lover so that is not hard. (Just
giving up my Diet Coke was/is hard.) I am not allowed to add anything until I
have my first return appointment next Tuesday then I go from there. I
didn't think of adding the Crystal light for a change of taste. I grew up
Penna. Dutch and lived on things like "Shoo-fly pie". 99.99% sugar. My
daughter was eating a piece the other day and I was actually repulsed by it. I
would think nothing of sitting down and consuming a whole pie in one
sitting.....never again, with Gods help, will I do that. I'm babbling so best
close.
Judy
PRAISE God for the Roses. THANK God for the thorns.
In a message dated 6/19/2009 1:25:49 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,
TheAgora81@aol.com writes:
Yes, this is my exact diet too. 64 oz liquid and 50 g of protein. I need
to
go back onto this diet because my weight is gaining or standing still. At
193 that is way too high for me to stop loosing weight. For the last two
days
I have been drinking a lot of sf drink and eating just tender chicken
breast and beans for dinner with one boiled egg for the morning. All the
rest
drinks. I got in an hour and a half of bike riding last night and the
night
before an hour of bike riding.
HELP, any more suggestions?
I am at a stand still? Has very many of you had a lot of stand stills?
peace lee
Shelia
Yes the doctor/center gave me a very strict list. They started me
and everyone on protein shakes on day 3. I can "eat" nothing. Just
liquids.
Protein shakes (4oz.) 6 times a day. Crystal light, no soda, etc.
Minimum of 60g. protein per day and minimum of 64 oz total of fluid per
day. To
be honest giving up my Diet Coke was hard, hard, hard. I used to love to
start my day with decaff coffee and end with hot tea, now, I can't stand
both. I hope that will change over time but if not....oh well. We had to
take
6 months of classes etc. Due to the other health risks I did 6 months of
education in just 1. I threatened to change my address to Geisinger
Medical Center. hahahaha. Insurance was a pain but finally they saw the
light
when my doctor told them it was either bypass surgery or TPN........they
were very fast to approve things after that. (I guess money does talk).
Judy
PRAISE God for the Roses. THANK God for the thorns.
************************<WBR>**Dell Inspiron 15: Now
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Messages in this topic (88)
________________________________________________________________________
3.2. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
Posted by: "Kelly" kdies@verizon.net kellone2
Date: Fri Jun 19, 2009 1:01 pm ((PDT))
You'll go through alot, Lee.
You have to give your body time to adjust to everything. You'll start to loose again. I had alot of stalls in the beginning too... 3 and 6 months...
Be patient, Im sure you are looking great ;)
Could be alot of water weight too?
Kelly
----- Original Message -----
From: TheAgora81@aol.com
To: afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Friday, June 19, 2009 2:04 PM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help!!
Kelly
At a year out and down 117lbs you did yourself a lot of good! And gaining
only 12 lbs is manageable to get back down. I have been eating so very little
that I would think my body would just drop the weight and say "you win."
But my body is so hard to give up the pounds and its been like this since
puberty. I admit I am addicted to loose clothing now and billowing shirts! How
nice! But I haven't dropped anything in more than 9 days, not even a half
pound and its been gaining instead on what I do not know?
How frustrating when this surgery is supposed to work very well the first 6
months. I am running out of time. Why am I gaining? Is my honeymoon over?
It has upset me since the start of it 9 days ago. I keep waiting and waiting
for it to start loosing again, but it gains another darned pound every other
day or stays still at the higher weight.
How many stand stills can you go through in 6 to 9 months in the beginning?
peace, lee
It is very frustrating Lee. I had my surgery 4/9/08, So i am almost 15
months out. I lost the bulk of my weight the first 7 months and have lost
NOTHING else. i was down 117lbs. I gained back 12 lbs because of quitting smoking.
I need to get back on track. It's so easy to loose yourself, and I fear
getting back into that rut. I need some mind determination and some dicipline
again
Kelly
----- Original Message -----
From: _TheAgora81@aol.The_ (mailto:TheAgora81@aol.com)
To: _afterweightlosssurgafterweightlosssaft_
(mailto:afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com)
Sent: Friday, June 19, 2009 1:24 PM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old
habits...help!S
Yes, this is my exact diet too. 64 oz liquid and 50 g of protein. I need to
go back onto this diet because my weight is gaining or standing still. At
193 that is way too high for me to stop loosing weight. For the last two
days
I have been drinking a lot of sf drink and eating just tender chicken
breast and beans for dinner with one boiled egg for the morning. All the
rest
drinks. I got in an hour and a half of bike riding last night and the night
before an hour of bike riding.
HELP, any more suggestions?
I am at a stand still? Has very many of you had a lot of stand stills?
peace lee
Shelia
Yes the doctor/center gave me a very strict list. They started me
and everyone on protein shakes on day 3. I can "eat" nothing. Just liquids.
Protein shakes (4oz.) 6 times a day. Crystal light, no soda, etc.
Minimum of 60g. protein per day and minimum of 64 oz total of fluid per
day. To
be honest giving up my Diet Coke was hard, hard, hard. I used to love to
start my day with decaff coffee and end with hot tea, now, I can't stand
both. I hope that will change over time but if not....oh well. We had to
take
6 months of classes etc. Due to the other health risks I did 6 months of
education in just 1. I threatened to change my address to Geisinger
Medical Center. hahahaha. Insurance was a pain but finally they saw the
light
when my doctor told them it was either bypass surgery or TPN........they
were very fast to approve things after that. (I guess money does talk).
Judy
PRAISE God for the Roses. THANK God for the thorns.
**************Dell Inspiron 15: Now starting at $349
(http://pr.atwola.com/promoclk/100126575x1222435718x1201460505/aol?redir=http:%2F%2Fad.doubleclick.
net%2Fclk%3B215748553%3B38126199%3Bs)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Messages in this topic (88)
________________________________________________________________________
3.3. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
Posted by: "Kelly" kdies@verizon.net kellone2
Date: Fri Jun 19, 2009 1:01 pm ((PDT))
I'm right there with you Dorothy :(
kelly
----- Original Message -----
From: Dorothy M. Rosa Durkee
To: afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Friday, June 19, 2009 2:38 PM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help!!
>I am at a stand still? Has very many of you had a lot of stand stills?
Yup. I'm stuck at 186 (down from 287, six-seven months post-op). The
only difference is that now that I can eat more, my eating is less
disciplined and I'm not drinking enough water. I need to get back on
track - and by the grace of God, I will do what I can to get there.
Dorothy D.
--
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Messages in this topic (88)
________________________________________________________________________
3.4. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
Posted by: "Sheila Derrwaldt" sderrwaldt@yahoo.com sderrwaldt
Date: Fri Jun 19, 2009 1:06 pm ((PDT))
Judy,
I cannot believe you were told to drink that much so soon. My diet started much differently. I wish I still had the papers, but I've moved twice since then, so I don't. The Internet is a great resource so I would try and find some other professional advice.
I gave up soda too and have never had a sip since. I drink coffee, no problem and the same with evening decaf tea. I gave up protein shakes sometime ago, but I would advise mixing them with water instead of milk. Try lactaid free milk, instead of soy. Soy can be dangerous for women at any risk of breast cancer. I use dairy free creamers in my coffee and lots of ice in my water.
You'll be fine, just keep tweaking the plan...until you find what's comfortable.
Sheila
________________________________
From: "Cheeks7514@aol.com" <Cheeks7514@aol.com>
To: afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Friday, June 19, 2009 8:52:21 AM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help!!
Shelia
Yes the doctor/center gave me a very strict list. They started me
and everyone on protein shakes on day 3. I can "eat" nothing. Just liquids.
Protein shakes (4oz.) 6 times a day. Crystal light, no soda, etc.
Minimum of 60g. protein per day and minimum of 64 oz total of fluid per day. To
be honest giving up my Diet Coke was hard, hard, hard. I used to love to
start my day with decaff coffee and end with hot tea, now, I can't stand
both. I hope that will change over time but if not....oh well. We had to take
6 months of classes etc. Due to the other health risks I did 6 months of
education in just 1. I threatened to change my address to Geisinger
Medical Center. hahahaha. Insurance was a pain but finally they saw the light
when my doctor told them it was either bypass surgery or TPN........they
were very fast to approve things after that. (I guess money does talk).
Judy
PRAISE God for the Roses. THANK God for the thorns.
In a message dated 6/19/2009 7:48:46 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time,
sderrwaldt@yahoo. com writes:
Judy,
You have to eat very slowly at first and very very little. I don't recall
the schedule of what I could eat at 10 days out, but I don't think I was up
to protein shakes at that point. Didn't your doctor's office give you a
very tight schedule of what to eat, when and how much? Find out.
Good luck!
Sheila
____________ _________ _________ __
From: "_Cheeks7514@ aol.Che_ (mailto:Cheeks7514@aol. com) "
<_Cheeks7514@ aol.Che_ (mailto:Cheeks7514@aol. com) >
To: _afterweightlosssur gafterweightloss saft_
(mailto:afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com)
Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 12:53:48 PM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old
habits...help! S
Could you please explain what you mean?? I'm 59, female, etc. This is
new to me. A question for the experts. I am now about 10 days out and it
seems that everytime I drink my protein shakes I get cramps and "dump". Is
this "normal"?
Judy
PRAISE God for the Roses. THANK God for the thorns.
In a message dated 6/18/2009 8:11:28 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time,
sderrwaldt@yahoo. com writes:
No, I don't get more attention from guys! I'm 57!!! No one looks at
middle-aged women. :) But, I notice that people don't notice me like they
did
when I was heavy. I just fit in better every place, and feel so much
healthier
and shopping is a lot easier. I would say more confidence because of less
shame.
____________ _________ _________ __
From: "Pearson, John" <_john.pearson@ john.p_ (mailto:john. _john.pearson@
jo>
To: "_afterweightlosssu rgafterweightlos ssaft_
(mailto:afterweight (mailto:afterwei ght<WBR>losssurg ery@<_afterweightlo sssu
rgafterweightlos ssaft_
(mailto:afterweight (mailto:afterwei ght<WBR>losssur>
Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 4:40:20 PM
Subject: RE: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old
habits...help! S
So from someone that has had the surgery can you tell me what is different
, of course besides being littler, in your life for example are you
getting more attention from the guys or more self confidence what is
different
over all?
John Pearson
From: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com [mailto:afterweight From:
afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com [mailto:after
Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 1:29 PM
To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old
habits...help! !
Hi Karen,
I agree 100% and I think the doctors and pre-surgerical psychologist told
us the same thing. It's very true. I'd like to add that if a large part of
someone's relationship is food centered and eating out and things like
that, it's going to be rough going for some time because the last thing a
post-op wants to do is eat. You want to lose!
Talk it all out in advance if you can.
Sheila
____________ _________ _________ __
From: Karen Cortez <kikae1@comcast. net<mailto:kikae1% 40comcast. net>>
To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups.
com<mailto:afterwei mailto:afterwei< WBR>ght losssurgery% 40>
Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 12:08:24 PM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old
habits...help! !
Hello,
I have been married for 15 years, together for 18 years. We are still
going like we always have. He is concerned about my weight because I have
gained so much back, but, other than that there is no real problems.. I
will tell
you what my surgeon told us at the meeting. If you have a good marriage it
can get better, if you have a bad marriage it will probably get worse. If
you figure some men think of a fat spouse as SAFE then you understand.
Also
the new attention from other men or women can make the current partner
feel very insecure and it is hard sometimes to make them understand that
it is
just what it is and if you are truly happy then it will not hurt the
relationship.
Karen Cortez
----- Original Message -----
From: "Brenda S." <cherokee_bren_ 324@yahoo. com>
To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 10:55:12 AM GMT -05:00 US/Canada Eastern
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old
habits....help! !
Is there anyone out there that has had success with staying married and
improving their marriage after surgery? I have just been approved for
surgery
and will be celebrating my 1st anniversary this weekend. All this talk is
very discouraging to me! I would rather be overweight with the love of my
life because we are very happy than to be at a much lower weight and be
miserable. I am very healthy other than my weight so I guess I am on the
fence
right now!
____________ _________ _________ __
From: Janet Kilpatrick < pinkie1153@yahoo. com >
To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 9:37:09 AM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old
habits...help! !
Gosh, that sounds so much like what I am going through right now. It just
makes me want to cry. I told my husband when I got the surgery (and I
truly
meant it) that we were not going to be among the stastitics.
But I just can't take much more.
Janet
____________ _________ _________ __
From: Victoria <afterwls@aol. com>
To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. To: a
Sent: Tuesday, June 16, 2009 10:09:19 PM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old
habits...help! !
in my experience, I became a 'born again healthy person'. My ex-spouse was
not interested in exercising, or losing any weight. He wanted the status
quo to remain the same, that is, a nice 'safe' wife who didn't rock the
lifestyle boat. When I lost weight and started dressing in a stylish, if
not
sexy manner, he protested by being verbally abusive and avoiding me, when
he
wasn't trying to sabotage my diet. He started drinking more (he already
had
a drinking problem). In short, he couldn't deal with the new me, and we
grew apart, and finally, I gave up and left (but not until after 24
marriage
counselling sessions).
-Vic
group founder
--- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com, "Pearson, John"
<john.pearson@ ...> wrote:
>
> I am having issues in my marriage as well. My wife had the surgery in
July of last year.
> Could you elaborate on "putting a strain on my marriage" what problems
are you having if I'm not getting to personal.
>
> John Pearson
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************ **Download the AOL Classifieds Toolbar for local deals at
your
fingertips.
(_http://toolbar._ (http://toolbar./) aol.com/aolclass ifieds/download.
html?ncid= emlcntusdown0000 0004)
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Messages in this topic (88)
________________________________________________________________________
3.5. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
Posted by: "Sheila Derrwaldt" sderrwaldt@yahoo.com sderrwaldt
Date: Fri Jun 19, 2009 1:12 pm ((PDT))
Hi John,
I agree, going out during the week seems a bit much. It sounds like your wife is making up for lost time! I think you need to have a talk....and she has to give some too and let you know why she feels the need to party that much and making you unhappy at the same time. Thinness does not excuse selfishness.
Good luck!
Sheila
________________________________
From: "Pearson, John" <john.pearson@hp.com>
To: "afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com" <afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com>
Sent: Friday, June 19, 2009 12:06:25 PM
Subject: RE: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
I do as often as I can but every night staying out till 1am and then getting up the next morning around 5am is just a little much for me.
I could do it on the weekends no problem and would be happy to but during the week I just can't get up that early and stay out that late.
John Pearson
____________ _________ _________ __
From: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com [mailto:afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com] On Behalf Of Sheila Derrwaldt
Sent: Friday, June 19, 2009 6:40 AM
To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old habits...help! !
John,
Why wouldn't you want to go too? Go enjoy life too!
Sheila
____________ _________ _________ __
From: "Pearson, John" <john.pearson@ hp.com<mailto:john. pearson%40hp. com>>
To: "afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com<mailto:afterweight losssurgery% 40yahoogroups. com>" <afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com<mailto:afterweight losssurgery% 40yahoogroups. com>>
Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 11:41:31 AM
Subject: RE: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old habits...help! !
Thanks Brenda I know this it's just putting it into action that's the hard part.
Am I to let her go out by herself if I don't want to go?
John Pearson
Inventory Analyst
Cell: 281-799-9118
Office @ Exel: 713-934-1536
____________ _________ _________ __
From: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com [mailto:afterweight losssurg ery@yahoogroups. com] On Behalf Of Brenda
Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 10:20 AM
To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old habits...help! !
Don't be more dead weight...that' s a good start. Your wife is excited and found a new life that she hasn't had in years, if she ever did. Everything is new and exciting and you have a chance to see things through her eyes. Be happy for her, listen to her, and go places with her. She may want to try new things, old things she couldn't do before...but just be there. Fellas are going to look no matter what age, size, or body style any of us have, they just make more noise about it when your skinny...that' s all it is. Let them look, I look, none of us are dead yet...it's when it's touching it crosses a line. It's a new toy and it's Christmas time...enjoy. Things will calm down....help her think of things to do if she is active. Look, if someone is going to cheat, they are going to cheat and there is nothing anybody can do about it, but no sense driving anybody to it by being jealous and over-protective. Hanging on too tight just strangles. Let her
know your there, have fun, maybe the two of you plan something together to celebrate.
brenda
____________ _________ _________ __
From: "Pearson, John" <john.pearson@ hp.com<mailto: john. pearson%40hp. com>>
To: "afterweightlosssur g ery@yahoogroups. com<mailto:afterwei ght losssurgery% 40yahoogroups. com>" <afterweightlosssur g ery@yahoogroups. com<mailto:afterwei ght losssurgery% 40yahoogroups. com>>
Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 8:13:39 AM
Subject: RE: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old habits...help! !
Norma,
Good luck in your situation I'm really sorry you have to feel the way you do after feeling so much better about yourself after surgery.
My situation is that I am a very insecure person always have been. Now that my wife has lost weight and is getting more attention from the fellas I get really jealous. I know this is something I need to work on so I am trying. Just don't know how.
John Pearson
Inventory Analyst
Cell: 281-799-9118
Office @ Exel: 713-934-1536
____________ _________ _________ __
From: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com [mailto:afterweight losssurg ery@yahoogroups. com] On Behalf Of goldengyrl_4life
Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 7:39 AM
To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups.. com
Subject: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old habits...help! !
I realized this morning that my post never showed so I am trying it again. I will be the first to admit that my marriage might not have been as strong as I thought it was but I never thought WLS would have been the reason for my divorce. My ex has adamently stated that after WLS he was no longer attracted to me. Now I realize that it was out of insecurity on his part. I never had his support during the pre-op procedures, therapy etc. He was so adament he didnt want me to have surgery. I remember coming out of surgery and getting back to my room and he was no where to be found for the next 4 hours. I eventually had to realize that I had to do this for me and me alone. I am very proud of the strides I have made but I am thankful to be rid of the 225 lb weight that would have loved for me to remaine 400lbs. I wish everyone much success and my prayers as this journey seems to continue.... .on and on....Enjoy the ride.
--- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com<mailto:afterwei ght losssurgery% 40yahoogroups. com>, Sheila Derrwaldt <sderrwaldt@ ...> wrote:
>
> Norma,
> I wish you a lot of luck. Your road ahead won't be easy but it will be healthier and saner.
> Big hugs,
> Sheila
>
>
>
>
> ____________ _________ _________ __
> From: Norma . Walczak <izzscruff2@ ...>
> To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com<mailto:afterwei ght losssurgery% 40yahoogroups. com>
> Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 7:15:18 PM
> Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help! !
>
>
>
>
>
> I have not had a chance to reply till now. Don't want my husband around while I am writings. I did not know that he had a drinking problem before we were married and it did not come out for the first few years, but after the surgery, the demon came out. He drinks every night, and I have learned to stay away from him even if it means to go to bed early. He is verbally abusive and even throws things and bangs doors. He has not touched me in over 2 years. My self esteem is rock bottom, but then I look at guys that I work with or have to interact with that try to talk to me and tell me that I am pretty. I have talked with our pastor who already knew we were at the end. She has tried to talk to us and every time he sits and cries like a baby which is his self defense to get the problem off of him. She caught on quickly to that stupid action. We no longer talk, he sits and smokes his cigarettes, drinks coffee in the morning then comes the booze. He has gained
> 120# and tells everyone why he is fat is that I force him to eat. Yes I cook meals, but he would rather have ice cream sundae, bananna splits, baked goods or greasy hamburgers that he gets while at work.
>
> Ok enough ranting. I guess that our marriage was never as strong as I thought it was, no one's fault, but know that I am not happy and need to get out soon for my own sanity.
>
> Norma
> --- On Wed, 6/17/09, goldengyrl_4life <goldengyrl_ 4life@ yahoo.com> wrote:
>
> From: goldengyrl_4life <goldengyrl_ 4life@ yahoo.com>
> Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help! !
> To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
> Date: Wednesday, June 17, 2009, 5:56 AM
>
> --- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com, "Victoria" <afterwls@ .> wrote:
> >
> > in my experience, I became a 'born again healthy person'. My ex-spouse was not interested in exercising, or losing any weight. He wanted the status quo to remain the same, that is, a nice 'safe' wife who didn't rock the lifestyle boat. When I lost weight and started dressing in a stylish, if not sexy manner, he protested by being verbally abusive and avoiding me, when he wasn't trying to sabotage my diet. He started drinking more (he already had a drinking problem). In short, he couldn't deal with the new me, and we grew apart, and finally, I gave up and left (but not until after 24 marriage counselling sessions).
> >
> > -Vic
> > group founder
> >
> > --- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com, "Pearson, John" <john.pearson@ > wrote:
> > >
> > > I am having issues in my marriage as well. My wife had the surgery in July of last year.
> > > Could you elaborate on "putting a strain on my marriage" what problems are you having if I'm not getting to personal.
> > >
> > > John Pearson
> >
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
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>
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Messages in this topic (88)
________________________________________________________________________
3.6. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
Posted by: "Sheila Derrwaldt" sderrwaldt@yahoo.com sderrwaldt
Date: Fri Jun 19, 2009 1:18 pm ((PDT))
I was told you get one good year from the surgery and then it's basically up to you. I can eat almost anything now, other than soda or very, very sweet things, esp cake frosting. I would also tell everyone to check for alcohol sugars in what they're eating if they find themselves dumping on simple things, like 100 cal snacks. Dense foods like very thick chicken breasts are also hard.
Oh I also was able to really tolerate these wonderful fruity protein drinks that you just mix with water, so you get lots of protein and lots of water. You can get them online in boxes of 5 or 7 in about 4 or 5 different flavors.
It's never easy being someone who lives to eat instead of the other way around!
Sheila
________________________________
From: Kelly <kdies@verizon.net>
To: afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Friday, June 19, 2009 1:36:03 PM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help!!
It is very frustrating Lee. I had my surgery 4/9/08, So i am almost 15 months out. I lost the bulk of my weight the first 7 months and have lost NOTHING else. i was down 117lbs. I gained back 12 lbs because of quitting smoking. I need to get back on track. It's so easy to loose yourself, and I fear getting back into that rut. I need some mind determination and some dicipline again
Kelly
----- Original Message -----
From: TheAgora81@aol. com
To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
Sent: Friday, June 19, 2009 1:24 PM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help! !
Yes, this is my exact diet too. 64 oz liquid and 50 g of protein. I need to
go back onto this diet because my weight is gaining or standing still. At
193 that is way too high for me to stop loosing weight. For the last two days
I have been drinking a lot of sf drink and eating just tender chicken
breast and beans for dinner with one boiled egg for the morning. All the rest
drinks. I got in an hour and a half of bike riding last night and the night
before an hour of bike riding.
HELP, any more suggestions?
I am at a stand still? Has very many of you had a lot of stand stills?
peace lee
Shelia
Yes the doctor/center gave me a very strict list. They started me
and everyone on protein shakes on day 3. I can "eat" nothing. Just liquids.
Protein shakes (4oz.) 6 times a day. Crystal light, no soda, etc.
Minimum of 60g. protein per day and minimum of 64 oz total of fluid per
day. To
be honest giving up my Diet Coke was hard, hard, hard. I used to love to
start my day with decaff coffee and end with hot tea, now, I can't stand
both. I hope that will change over time but if not....oh well. We had to
take
6 months of classes etc. Due to the other health risks I did 6 months of
education in just 1. I threatened to change my address to Geisinger
Medical Center. hahahaha. Insurance was a pain but finally they saw the
light
when my doctor told them it was either bypass surgery or TPN.........they
were very fast to approve things after that. (I guess money does talk).
Judy
PRAISE God for the Roses. THANK God for the thorns.
************ **Dell Inspiron 15: Now starting at $349
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Messages in this topic (88)
________________________________________________________________________
3.7. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
Posted by: "Cheeks7514@aol.com" Cheeks7514@aol.com saraamy1985
Date: Fri Jun 19, 2009 2:04 pm ((PDT))
Sheila
WE have a 5 generation history of breast cancer.
Judy
PRAISE God for the Roses. THANK God for the thorns.
In a message dated 6/19/2009 4:07:59 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,
sderrwaldt@yahoo.com writes:
Soy can be dangerous for women at any risk of breast cancer.
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Messages in this topic (88)
________________________________________________________________________
3.8. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
Posted by: "Kelly" kdies@verizon.net kellone2
Date: Fri Jun 19, 2009 3:01 pm ((PDT))
if you like banana, I have a great one from GNC... it's 100% Whey High Performance.... I mix it with water. It's superb ;) Tastes great!!!
I could mail you a sample if you wanna try it too.
Kelly
----- Original Message -----
From: Valana Darrell
To: afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Friday, June 19, 2009 12:52 PM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help!!
Judy:
Personally, I was instructed by my doctor when I first got of surgery to just stick to the protein shakes and water. It may be what you are mixing with your protein shakes. If your using the nonfat milk, you may want to switch to just water the protein powder, and ice. Keep it as simple as possible if your getting cramps like that. It could also be what fruits your adding to your shakes too. At first I started just drinking those bullet protein drinks and Isopure until I felt up to adding the fruit to my drinks. Then I switched to using Whey Protein powder and adding either a 1/2 banana or some strawberries to my drink. They also have these sugar free syrups that just taste wonderful in the protein shakes, I have the Bravian Chocolate and Hazelnut.
I can no longer tolerate milk, so I use water in my shakes. You could also use crystal light if you want, but for me I can not tolerate crystal light so I just stick to the water.
You do want to talk to your doctor however because you want to start getting that daily protein requirement into your body. The very minimal that you have to get in is 50g. So let your doctor know what's going on.
Hope I was able to help
Valana
--- On Fri, 6/19/09, Sheila Derrwaldt <sderrwaldt@yahoo.com> wrote:
From: Sheila Derrwaldt <sderrwaldt@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help!!
To: afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com
Date: Friday, June 19, 2009, 4:42 AM
Judy,
You have to eat very slowly at first and very very little. I don't recall the schedule of what I could eat at 10 days out, but I don't think I was up to protein shakes at that point. Didn't your doctor's office give you a very tight schedule of what to eat, when and how much? Find out.
Good luck!
Sheila
____________ _________ _________ __
From: "Cheeks7514@aol. com" <Cheeks7514@aol. com>
To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 12:53:48 PM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help! !
Could you please explain what you mean?? I'm 59, female, etc. This is
new to me. A question for the experts. I am now about 10 days out and it
seems that everytime I drink my protein shakes I get cramps and "dump". Is
this "normal"?
Judy
PRAISE God for the Roses. THANK God for the thorns.
In a message dated 6/18/2009 8:11:28 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time,
sderrwaldt@yahoo. com writes:
No, I don't get more attention from guys! I'm 57!!! No one looks at
middle-aged women. :) But, I notice that people don't notice me like they did
when I was heavy. I just fit in better every place, and feel so much healthier
and shopping is a lot easier. I would say more confidence because of less
shame.
____________ _________ _________ __
From: "Pearson, John" <_john.pearson@ john.p_ (mailto:john. pearson@ hp.com) >
To: "_afterweightlosssu rgafterweightlos ssaft_
(mailto:afterweight losssurg ery@yahoogroups. com) " <_afterweightlosssu rgafterweightlos ssaft_
(mailto:afterweight losssurg ery@yahoogroups. com) >
Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 4:40:20 PM
Subject: RE: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old
habits...help! S
So from someone that has had the surgery can you tell me what is different
, of course besides being littler, in your life for example are you
getting more attention from the guys or more self confidence what is different
over all?
John Pearson
From: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com [mailto:afterweight From:
afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com [mailto:after
Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 1:29 PM
To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old
habits...help! !
Hi Karen,
I agree 100% and I think the doctors and pre-surgerical psychologist told
us the same thing. It's very true. I'd like to add that if a large part of
someone's relationship is food centered and eating out and things like
that, it's going to be rough going for some time because the last thing a
post-op wants to do is eat. You want to lose!
Talk it all out in advance if you can.
Sheila
____________ _________ _________ __
From: Karen Cortez <kikae1@comcast. net<mailto:kikae1% 40comcast. net>>
To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups.
com<mailto:afterwei mailto:afterwei< WBR>ght losssurgery% 40>
Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 12:08:24 PM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old
habits...help! !
Hello,
I have been married for 15 years, together for 18 years. We are still
going like we always have. He is concerned about my weight because I have
gained so much back, but, other than that there is no real problems. I will tell
you what my surgeon told us at the meeting. If you have a good marriage it
can get better, if you have a bad marriage it will probably get worse. If
you figure some men think of a fat spouse as SAFE then you understand. Also
the new attention from other men or women can make the current partner
feel very insecure and it is hard sometimes to make them understand that it is
just what it is and if you are truly happy then it will not hurt the
relationship.
Karen Cortez
----- Original Message -----
From: "Brenda S." <cherokee_bren_ 324@yahoo. com>
To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 10:55:12 AM GMT -05:00 US/Canada Eastern
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old
habits....help! !
Is there anyone out there that has had success with staying married and
improving their marriage after surgery? I have just been approved for surgery
and will be celebrating my 1st anniversary this weekend. All this talk is
very discouraging to me! I would rather be overweight with the love of my
life because we are very happy than to be at a much lower weight and be
miserable. I am very healthy other than my weight so I guess I am on the fence
right now!
____________ _________ _________ __
From: Janet Kilpatrick < pinkie1153@yahoo. com >
To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 9:37:09 AM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old
habits...help! !
Gosh, that sounds so much like what I am going through right now. It just
makes me want to cry. I told my husband when I got the surgery (and I truly
meant it) that we were not going to be among the stastitics.
But I just can't take much more.
Janet
____________ _________ _________ __
From: Victoria <afterwls@aol. com>
To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. To: a
Sent: Tuesday, June 16, 2009 10:09:19 PM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old
habits...help! !
in my experience, I became a 'born again healthy person'. My ex-spouse was
not interested in exercising, or losing any weight. He wanted the status
quo to remain the same, that is, a nice 'safe' wife who didn't rock the
lifestyle boat. When I lost weight and started dressing in a stylish, if not
sexy manner, he protested by being verbally abusive and avoiding me, when he
wasn't trying to sabotage my diet. He started drinking more (he already had
a drinking problem). In short, he couldn't deal with the new me, and we
grew apart, and finally, I gave up and left (but not until after 24 marriage
counselling sessions).
-Vic
group founder
--- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com, "Pearson, John"
<john.pearson@ ...> wrote:
>
> I am having issues in my marriage as well. My wife had the surgery in
July of last year.
> Could you elaborate on "putting a strain on my marriage" what problems
are you having if I'm not getting to personal.
>
> John Pearson
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Messages in this topic (88)
________________________________________________________________________
3.9. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
Posted by: "TheAgora81@aol.com" TheAgora81@aol.com theagora81
Date: Fri Jun 19, 2009 4:32 pm ((PDT))
Interesting. I hope I get my full year in of loosing weight.
peace, lee
sderrwaldt@yahoo.com writes:
I was told you get one good year from the surgery and then it's basically
up to you.
**************Dell Inspiron 15: Now starting at $349
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Messages in this topic (88)
________________________________________________________________________
3.10. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
Posted by: "Kelly" kdies@verizon.net kellone2
Date: Fri Jun 19, 2009 4:44 pm ((PDT))
My husband is an alcoholic. He can easily put a case of beer down in 2 days (that's alot to me). I shouldnt complain about him drinking... he doesnt drink at bars only at home. He isnt mean, aggressive, ignorant. He's sweeter, nicer and happier. He holds a full time job and is in the military. I cant stand the smell of it, the fact that he is holding it, the fact that he has to have it all the time. I am very excited about him coming home from this deployment in september but do not care to see him run to the can of bud again. Ugh! frustrating. I know how you are feeling, ok... somewhat.
Kelly
----- Original Message -----
From: Karen Cortez
To: afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 10:11 PM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help!!
I have alot of experience with alcoholism in my family as well. In alanon we learned they will make excuses to drink and there is nothing we can do to change them.
Karen Cortez
----- Original Message -----
From: "Janet Kilpatrick" <pinkie1153@yahoo.com>
To: afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 2:05:15 PM GMT -05:00 US/Canada Eastern
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help!!
His drinking. He is drinking more and then we start fighting and he throws in my face that I have had a lifestyle change and just because I did and because I am PERFECT (which I am not by far) doesn't mean he is. He supported me through it all until recently and things are getting worse and worse. I have a sister who is an alcholic and has been for over 20 years and I am not going to live through all of that again. He knows how I feel about my sister and about drinking - but he doesn't seem to care anymore. Oh sure there used to be a whole lot of "I'm sorries" at the begginning - and now there is not. He throws it in my face that at least he is at home drinking - that he could be like all the other men in the world and be out at bars with who knows who doing who knows what. Just breaks my heart because I truly love him. I do not love who he becomes when he comes home from work and starts drinking.
And the more he drinks - the more I say things about it - and that seems to give him "an excuse" to drink more.
Janet
________________________________
From: "Pearson, John" < john.pearson@hp.com >
To: " afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com " < afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com >
Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 9:20:04 AM
Subject: RE: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help!!
Thanks for the response Vic and Janet. I don't believe it's that bad yet and she isn't ignoring me or anything like that. She just wants to go all the time when she was the one in the past that was like why don't we ever just stay home some time.
Where we live they have free poker tournaments just about every night at different bars one game at 7 and one game at 10. If I would let her she would go to everyone of them. The game at 10 doesn't get over till sometimes 1 in the morning. She is also drinking a lot more than she ever has and that is really concerning to me.
I feel as though if I keep nagging her she is not going to stay around forever.
Janet,
What is your husband doing that you can't take much more of?
JP
____________ _________ _________ __
From: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com [mailto:afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com] On Behalf Of Janet Kilpatrick
Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 8:37 AM
To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help! !
Gosh, that sounds so much like what I am going through right now. It just makes me want to cry. I told my husband when I got the surgery (and I truly meant it) that we were not going to be among the stastitics.
But I just can't take much more.
Janet
____________ _________ _________ __
From: Victoria <afterwls@aol. com<mailto:afterwls% 40aol.com> >
To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com<mailto:afterweight losssurgery% 40yahoogroups. com>
Sent: Tuesday, June 16, 2009 10:09:19 PM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help! !
in my experience, I became a 'born again healthy person'. My ex-spouse was not interested in exercising, or losing any weight. He wanted the status quo to remain the same, that is, a nice 'safe' wife who didn't rock the lifestyle boat. When I lost weight and started dressing in a stylish, if not sexy manner, he protested by being verbally abusive and avoiding me, when he wasn't trying to sabotage my diet. He started drinking more (he already had a drinking problem). In short, he couldn't deal with the new me, and we grew apart, and finally, I gave up and left (but not until after 24 marriage counselling sessions).
-Vic
group founder
--- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com, "Pearson, John" <john.pearson@ ...> wrote:
>
> I am having issues in my marriage as well. My wife had the surgery in July of last year.
> Could you elaborate on "putting a strain on my marriage" what problems are you having if I'm not getting to personal.
>
> John Pearson
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Messages in this topic (88)
________________________________________________________________________
3.11. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
Posted by: "TheAgora81@aol.com" TheAgora81@aol.com theagora81
Date: Fri Jun 19, 2009 4:51 pm ((PDT))
Thanks Dorothy. YOU have lost sooo much weight. I am proud of you, and all
of you's. You are 100lbs down, now tell me how THAT FEELS? :) I am stuck
just 7 more than you. This is sounding like a mile marker now. Does everyone
get stuck at around this weight?
peace, lee
>I am at a stand still? Has very many of you had a lot of stand stills?
Yup. I'm stuck at 186 (down from 287, six-seven months post-op). The
only difference is that now that I can eat more, my eating is less
disciplined and I'm not drinking enough water. I need to get back on
track - and by the grace of God, I will do what I can to get there.
Dorothy D.
**************Dell Inspiron 15: Now starting at $349
(http://pr.atwola.com/promoclk/100126575x1222435718x1201460505/aol?redir=http:%2F%2Fad.doubleclick.
net%2Fclk%3B215748553%3B38126199%3Bs)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Messages in this topic (88)
________________________________________________________________________
3.12. Re: falling back into oldhabits...help!!
Posted by: "Kelly" kdies@verizon.net kellone2
Date: Fri Jun 19, 2009 5:46 pm ((PDT))
Amen, sheila!
Sent from her BlackBerry
-----Original Message-----
From: Sheila Derrwaldt <sderrwaldt@yahoo.com>
Date: Fri, 19 Jun 2009 13:11:15
To: <afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com>
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old
habits...help!!
Hi John,
I agree, going out during the week seems a bit much. It sounds like your wife is making up for lost time! I think you need to have a talk....and she has to give some too and let you know why she feels the need to party that much and making you unhappy at the same time. Thinness does not excuse selfishness.
Good luck!
Sheila
________________________________
From: "Pearson, John" <john.pearson@hp.com>
To: "afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com" <afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com>
Sent: Friday, June 19, 2009 12:06:25 PM
Subject: RE: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
I do as often as I can but every night staying out till 1am and then getting up the next morning around 5am is just a little much for me.
I could do it on the weekends no problem and would be happy to but during the week I just can't get up that early and stay out that late.
John Pearson
________________________________
From: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com [mailto:afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com] On Behalf Of Sheila Derrwaldt
Sent: Friday, June 19, 2009 6:40 AM
To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old habits...help! !
John,
Why wouldn't you want to go too? Go enjoy life too!
Sheila
________________________________
From: "Pearson, John" <john.pearson@ hp.com<mailto:john. pearson%40hp. com>>
To: "afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com<mailto:afterweight losssurgery% 40yahoogroups. com>" <afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com<mailto:afterweight losssurgery% 40yahoogroups. com>>
Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 11:41:31 AM
Subject: RE: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old habits...help! !
Thanks Brenda I know this it's just putting it into action that's the hard part.
Am I to let her go out by herself if I don't want to go?
John Pearson
Inventory Analyst
Cell: 281-799-9118
Office @ Exel: 713-934-1536
________________________________
From: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com [mailto:afterweight losssurg ery@yahoogroups. com] On Behalf Of Brenda
Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 10:20 AM
To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old habits...help! !
Don't be more dead weight...that' s a good start. Your wife is excited and found a new life that she hasn't had in years, if she ever did. Everything is new and exciting and you have a chance to see things through her eyes. Be happy for her, listen to her, and go places with her. She may want to try new things, old things she couldn't do before...but just be there. Fellas are going to look no matter what age, size, or body style any of us have, they just make more noise about it when your skinny...that' s all it is. Let them look, I look, none of us are dead yet...it's when it's touching it crosses a line. It's a new toy and it's Christmas time...enjoy. Things will calm down....help her think of things to do if she is active. Look, if someone is going to cheat, they are going to cheat and there is nothing anybody can do about it, but no sense driving anybody to it by being jealous and over-protective. Hanging on too tight just strangles. Let her
know your there, have fun, maybe the two of you plan something together to celebrate.
brenda
________________________________
From: "Pearson, John" <john.pearson@ hp.com<mailto: john. pearson%40hp. com>>
To: "afterweightlosssur g ery@yahoogroups. com<mailto:afterwei ght losssurgery% 40yahoogroups. com>" <afterweightlosssur g ery@yahoogroups. com<mailto:afterwei ght losssurgery% 40yahoogroups. com>>
Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 8:13:39 AM
Subject: RE: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old habits...help! !
Norma,
Good luck in your situation I'm really sorry you have to feel the way you do after feeling so much better about yourself after surgery.
My situation is that I am a very insecure person always have been. Now that my wife has lost weight and is getting more attention from the fellas I get really jealous. I know this is something I need to work on so I am trying. Just don't know how.
John Pearson
Inventory Analyst
Cell: 281-799-9118
Office @ Exel: 713-934-1536
________________________________
From: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com [mailto:afterweight losssurg ery@yahoogroups. com] On Behalf Of goldengyrl_4life
Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 7:39 AM
To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups.. com
Subject: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old habits...help! !
I realized this morning that my post never showed so I am trying it again. I will be the first to admit that my marriage might not have been as strong as I thought it was but I never thought WLS would have been the reason for my divorce. My ex has adamently stated that after WLS he was no longer attracted to me. Now I realize that it was out of insecurity on his part. I never had his support during the pre-op procedures, therapy etc. He was so adament he didnt want me to have surgery. I remember coming out of surgery and getting back to my room and he was no where to be found for the next 4 hours. I eventually had to realize that I had to do this for me and me alone. I am very proud of the strides I have made but I am thankful to be rid of the 225 lb weight that would have loved for me to remaine 400lbs. I wish everyone much success and my prayers as this journey seems to continue.... .on and on....Enjoy the ride.
--- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com<mailto:afterwei ght losssurgery% 40yahoogroups. com>, Sheila Derrwaldt <sderrwaldt@ ...> wrote:
>
> Norma,
> I wish you a lot of luck. Your road ahead won't be easy but it will be healthier and saner.
> Big hugs,
> Sheila
>
>
>
>
>________________________________
> From: Norma . Walczak <izzscruff2@ ...>
> To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com<mailto:afterwei ght losssurgery% 40yahoogroups. com>
> Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 7:15:18 PM
> Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help! !
>
>
>
>
>
> I have not had a chance to reply till now. Don't want my husband around while I am writings. I did not know that he had a drinking problem before we were married and it did not come out for the first few years, but after the surgery, the demon came out. He drinks every night, and I have learned to stay away from him even if it means to go to bed early. He is verbally abusive and even throws things and bangs doors. He has not touched me in over 2 years. My self esteem is rock bottom, but then I look at guys that I work with or have to interact with that try to talk to me and tell me that I am pretty. I have talked with our pastor who already knew we were at the end. She has tried to talk to us and every time he sits and cries like a baby which is his self defense to get the problem off of him. She caught on quickly to that stupid action. We no longer talk, he sits and smokes his cigarettes, drinks coffee in the morning then comes the booze. He has gained
> 120# and tells everyone why he is fat is that I force him to eat. Yes I cook meals, but he would rather have ice cream sundae, bananna splits, baked goods or greasy hamburgers that he gets while at work.
>
> Ok enough ranting. I guess that our marriage was never as strong as I thought it was, no one's fault, but know that I am not happy and need to get out soon for my own sanity.
>
> Norma
> --- On Wed, 6/17/09, goldengyrl_4life <goldengyrl_ 4life@ yahoo.com> wrote:
>
> From: goldengyrl_4life <goldengyrl_ 4life@ yahoo.com>
> Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help! !
> To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
> Date: Wednesday, June 17, 2009, 5:56 AM
>
> --- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com, "Victoria" <afterwls@ .> wrote:
> >
> > in my experience, I became a 'born again healthy person'. My ex-spouse was not interested in exercising, or losing any weight. He wanted the status quo to remain the same, that is, a nice 'safe' wife who didn't rock the lifestyle boat. When I lost weight and started dressing in a stylish, if not sexy manner, he protested by being verbally abusive and avoiding me, when he wasn't trying to sabotage my diet. He started drinking more (he already had a drinking problem). In short, he couldn't deal with the new me, and we grew apart, and finally, I gave up and left (but not until after 24 marriage counselling sessions).
> >
> > -Vic
> > group founder
> >
> > --- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com, "Pearson, John" <john.pearson@ > wrote:
> > >
> > > I am having issues in my marriage as well. My wife had the surgery in July of last year.
> > > Could you elaborate on "putting a strain on my marriage" what problems are you having if I'm not getting to personal.
> > >
> > > John Pearson
> >
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
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Messages in this topic (88)
________________________________________________________________________
3.13. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
Posted by: "Sheila Derrwaldt" sderrwaldt@yahoo.com sderrwaldt
Date: Fri Jun 19, 2009 6:31 pm ((PDT))
Then you should stay away from soy. I have a similar family history, with the BRCA2 mutation. My mom died at 42 from breast cancer in spite of the best care possible at that time.
You would do better to use lactaid free milk.
I asked my husband and he said I could not have thick protein shakes for awhile, but clear liquid protein drinks, as well as water.
Sheila
________________________________
From: "Cheeks7514@aol.com" <Cheeks7514@aol.com>
To: afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Friday, June 19, 2009 5:03:33 PM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help!!
Sheila
WE have a 5 generation history of breast cancer.
Judy
PRAISE God for the Roses. THANK God for the thorns.
In a message dated 6/19/2009 4:07:59 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,
sderrwaldt@yahoo. com writes:
Soy can be dangerous for women at any risk of breast cancer.
************ **Download the AOL Classifieds Toolbar for local deals at your
fingertips.
(http://toolbar. aol.com/aolclass ifieds/download. html?ncid= emlcntusdown0000 0004)
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Messages in this topic (88)
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
4.1. Re: falling back intooldhabits...help!!
Posted by: "Sheila Derrwaldt" sderrwaldt@yahoo.com sderrwaldt
Date: Fri Jun 19, 2009 1:09 pm ((PDT))
Hi Kelly,
Yes, my son is out of the service now. He had one tour of about 16 months + and one of 13 months, after being on the DMZ in Korea for almost a year. He was in Ramadi both times, in Military Intelligence. The longer tour ended up keeping him in the Army almost a year past his original exit date.
Those flat rate boxes were a life saver!
I will pray your loved one comes home safe, sound and sane.
Sheila
________________________________
From: Kelly <kdies@verizon.net>
To: afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Friday, June 19, 2009 11:27:14 AM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back intooldhabits...help!!
He's in Taji. This is his second tour. The last one was 18 months long 2004/2005 this one is exactly a year 2008/2009
I use the flat rate shipping boxes to send to him every other week. He loves it. I'll just be glad when it is OVER.... September cant come soon enough ;)
Is your son out of it now?
kelly
----- Original Message -----
From: Sheila Derrwaldt
To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
Sent: Friday, June 19, 2009 7:46 AM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back intooldhabits. ..help!!
My son was in the Army for over 5 yrs and had 2 very long deployments to Iraq. Where in Iraq is your husband? I wish him lots of luck and send him lots of love from a grateful nation. Also, you can get flat rate priority mail boxes at the PO and send him lots of stuff, cheaply. I sent my son a box every week and all the guys loved it!
Good luck Kelly!!!
Sheila
____________ _________ _________ __
From: Kelly <kdies@verizon. net>
To: After WLS <afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com>
Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 4:24:31 PM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back intooldhabits. ..help!!
He's army national guard. Some call that a "weekend warrior" but they all protect the same regardless. Right?
Oh, you'll feel a lot of feelings after your surgery. Good, bad! You'll experience a lot.
Kelly
Sent from her BlackBerry
-----Original Message-----
From: "Brenda S." <cherokee_bren_ 324@yahoo. com>
Date: Thu, 18 Jun 2009 13:12:24
To: <afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com>
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into
oldhabits... help!!
I cant wait for that feeling! My own surgery was just approved and am having surgery on July 29th. What branch of service is your husband in? My husband is a Marine veteran but that old saying "once a Marine always a Marine" is so true. I will keep him in my prayers that he is safe through this deployment!
____________ _________ _________ __
From: Kelly <kdies@verizon. net>
To: After WLS <afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com>
Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 3:58:35 PM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into oldhabits... help!!
Thanks Brenda! Maybe we'll actually match as a couple now! He weighs 130lbs soaking wet hahaha. I'll feel more secure around him. I can't wait ;)
~Kel
Sent from her BlackBerry
-----Original Message-----
From: "Brenda S." <cherokee_bren_ 324@yahoo. com>
Date: Thu, 18 Jun 2009 12:52:16
To: <afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com>
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old
habits...help! !
He will have a brand new wife when he returns Kelly! You have done an amazing job, keep up the good work!
____________ _________ _________ __
From: Kelly <kdies@verizon. net>
To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 11:58:39 AM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old habits...help! !
I do have to say that my husband was all for my surgery.. Of course he saw
things that would benefit him in the long run... lol (if you know what I
mean).
I am so happy to have his support and understanding. I cant wait til he gets
home from this deployment to see me! I was only 5 months post op when he
left for deployment. Now I am 14 months post op and 117lbs lighter ;)
Kelly
----- Original Message -----
From: "kelli hodges" <keldred24@hotmail. com>
To: <afterweightlosssur g ery@yahoogroups. com>
Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 10:14 AM
Subject: RE: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old
habits...help! !
i understand.. .my husband did not want me to have the surgery either.
luckily he is ok with it now but he is not happy that i have lost 80
lbs...but i am happy. so i think he is ok with it now. my mother says that
he liked me heavy because he didnt have to worry that someone else would
want me...she thinks its insecurity also. i think my marriage is fine but
who really knows my mother was married for 25yrs before her divorce and she
didnt have wls...i figure if he cant love me smaller than he never loved me
at all.
kelli
To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
From: goldengyrl_4life@ yahoo.com
Date: Thu, 18 Jun 2009 12:38:46 +0000
Subject: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old
habits...help! !
I realized this morning that my post never showed so I am trying it again. I
will be the first to admit that my marriage might not have been as strong as
I thought it was but I never thought WLS would have been the reason for my
divorce. My ex has adamently stated that after WLS he was no longer
attracted to me. Now I realize that it was out of insecurity on his part. I
never had his support during the pre-op procedures, therapy etc. He was so
adament he didnt want me to have surgery. I remember coming out of surgery
and getting back to my room and he was no where to be found for the next 4
hours. I eventually had to realize that I had to do this for me and me
alone. I am very proud of the strides I have made but I am thankful to be
rid of the 225 lb weight that would have loved for me to remaine 400lbs. I
wish everyone much success and my prayers as this journey seems to
continue.... .on and on....Enjoy the ride.
--- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com, Sheila Derrwaldt
<sderrwaldt@ ...> wrote:
>
> Norma,
> I wish you a lot of luck. Your road ahead won't be easy but it will be
> healthier and saner.
> Big hugs,
> Sheila
>
>
>
>
>___________ _________ _________ ___
> From: Norma . Walczak <izzscruff2@ ...>
> To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
> Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 7:15:18 PM
> Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old
> habits...help! !
>
>
>
>
>
> I have not had a chance to reply till now. Don't want my husband around
> while I am writings. I did not know that he had a drinking problem before
> we were married and it did not come out for the first few years, but after
> the surgery, the demon came out. He drinks every night, and I have learned
> to stay away from him even if it means to go to bed early. He is verbally
> abusive and even throws things and bangs doors. He has not touched me in
> over 2 years. My self esteem is rock bottom, but then I look at guys that
> I work with or have to interact with that try to talk to me and tell me
> that I am pretty. I have talked with our pastor who already knew we were
> at the end. She has tried to talk to us and every time he sits and cries
> like a baby which is his self defense to get the problem off of him. She
> caught on quickly to that stupid action. We no longer talk, he sits and
> smokes his cigarettes, drinks coffee in the morning then comes the booze.
> He has gained
> 120# and tells everyone why he is fat is that I force him to eat. Yes I
> cook meals, but he would rather have ice cream sundae, bananna splits,
> baked goods or greasy hamburgers that he gets while at work.
>
> Ok enough ranting. I guess that our marriage was never as strong as I
> thought it was, no one's fault, but know that I am not happy and need to
> get out soon for my own sanity.
>
> Norma
> --- On Wed, 6/17/09, goldengyrl_4life <goldengyrl_ 4life@ yahoo.com> wrote:
>
> From: goldengyrl_4life <goldengyrl_ 4life@ yahoo.com>
> Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old
> habits....help! !
> To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
> Date: Wednesday, June 17, 2009, 5:56 AM
>
> --- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com, "Victoria" <afterwls@ .>
> wrote:
> >
> > in my experience, I became a 'born again healthy person'. My ex-spouse
> > was not interested in exercising, or losing any weight. He wanted the
> > status quo to remain the same, that is, a nice 'safe' wife who didn't
> > rock the lifestyle boat. When I lost weight and started dressing in a
> > stylish, if not sexy manner, he protested by being verbally abusive and
> > avoiding me, when he wasn't trying to sabotage my diet. He started
> > drinking more (he already had a drinking problem). In short, he couldn't
> > deal with the new me, and we grew apart, and finally, I gave up and left
> > (but not until after 24 marriage counselling sessions).
> >
> > -Vic
> > group founder
> >
> > --- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com, "Pearson, John"
> > <john.pearson@ > wrote:
> > >
> > > I am having issues in my marriage as well. My wife had the surgery in
> > > July of last year.
> > > Could you elaborate on "putting a strain on my marriage" what problems
> > > are you having if I'm not getting to personal.
> > >
> > > John Pearson
> >
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _
Hotmail® has ever-growing storage! Don't worry about storage limits.
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Messages in this topic (88)
________________________________________________________________________
4.2. Re: falling back intooldhabits...help!!
Posted by: "Kelly" kdies@verizon.net kellone2
Date: Fri Jun 19, 2009 2:57 pm ((PDT))
Thank you Sheila
I honor your son and his duty but am glad that he's out now.
Thanks for the prayers!
Kelly
Sent from her BlackBerry
-----Original Message-----
From: Sheila Derrwaldt <sderrwaldt@yahoo.com>
Date: Fri, 19 Jun 2009 13:09:15
To: <afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com>
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back intooldhabits...help!!
Hi Kelly,
Yes, my son is out of the service now. He had one tour of about 16 months + and one of 13 months, after being on the DMZ in Korea for almost a year. He was in Ramadi both times, in Military Intelligence. The longer tour ended up keeping him in the Army almost a year past his original exit date.
Those flat rate boxes were a life saver!
I will pray your loved one comes home safe, sound and sane.
Sheila
________________________________
From: Kelly <kdies@verizon.net>
To: afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Friday, June 19, 2009 11:27:14 AM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back intooldhabits...help!!
He's in Taji. This is his second tour. The last one was 18 months long 2004/2005 this one is exactly a year 2008/2009
I use the flat rate shipping boxes to send to him every other week. He loves it. I'll just be glad when it is OVER.... September cant come soon enough ;)
Is your son out of it now?
kelly
----- Original Message -----
From: Sheila Derrwaldt
To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
Sent: Friday, June 19, 2009 7:46 AM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back intooldhabits. ..help!!
My son was in the Army for over 5 yrs and had 2 very long deployments to Iraq. Where in Iraq is your husband? I wish him lots of luck and send him lots of love from a grateful nation. Also, you can get flat rate priority mail boxes at the PO and send him lots of stuff, cheaply. I sent my son a box every week and all the guys loved it!
Good luck Kelly!!!
Sheila
________________________________
From: Kelly <kdies@verizon. net>
To: After WLS <afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com>
Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 4:24:31 PM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back intooldhabits. ..help!!
He's army national guard. Some call that a "weekend warrior" but they all protect the same regardless. Right?
Oh, you'll feel a lot of feelings after your surgery. Good, bad! You'll experience a lot.
Kelly
Sent from her BlackBerry
-----Original Message-----
From: "Brenda S." <cherokee_bren_ 324@yahoo. com>
Date: Thu, 18 Jun 2009 13:12:24
To: <afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com>
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into
oldhabits... help!!
I cant wait for that feeling! My own surgery was just approved and am having surgery on July 29th. What branch of service is your husband in? My husband is a Marine veteran but that old saying "once a Marine always a Marine" is so true. I will keep him in my prayers that he is safe through this deployment!
________________________________
From: Kelly <kdies@verizon. net>
To: After WLS <afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com>
Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 3:58:35 PM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into oldhabits... help!!
Thanks Brenda! Maybe we'll actually match as a couple now! He weighs 130lbs soaking wet hahaha. I'll feel more secure around him. I can't wait ;)
~Kel
Sent from her BlackBerry
-----Original Message-----
From: "Brenda S." <cherokee_bren_ 324@yahoo. com>
Date: Thu, 18 Jun 2009 12:52:16
To: <afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com>
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old
habits...help! !
He will have a brand new wife when he returns Kelly! You have done an amazing job, keep up the good work!
________________________________
From: Kelly <kdies@verizon. net>
To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 11:58:39 AM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old habits...help! !
I do have to say that my husband was all for my surgery.. Of course he saw
things that would benefit him in the long run... lol (if you know what I
mean).
I am so happy to have his support and understanding. I cant wait til he gets
home from this deployment to see me! I was only 5 months post op when he
left for deployment. Now I am 14 months post op and 117lbs lighter ;)
Kelly
----- Original Message -----
From: "kelli hodges" <keldred24@hotmail. com>
To: <afterweightlosssur g ery@yahoogroups. com>
Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 10:14 AM
Subject: RE: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old
habits...help! !
i understand.. .my husband did not want me to have the surgery either.
luckily he is ok with it now but he is not happy that i have lost 80
lbs...but i am happy. so i think he is ok with it now. my mother says that
he liked me heavy because he didnt have to worry that someone else would
want me...she thinks its insecurity also. i think my marriage is fine but
who really knows my mother was married for 25yrs before her divorce and she
didnt have wls...i figure if he cant love me smaller than he never loved me
at all.
kelli
To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
From: goldengyrl_4life@ yahoo.com
Date: Thu, 18 Jun 2009 12:38:46 +0000
Subject: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old
habits...help! !
I realized this morning that my post never showed so I am trying it again. I
will be the first to admit that my marriage might not have been as strong as
I thought it was but I never thought WLS would have been the reason for my
divorce. My ex has adamently stated that after WLS he was no longer
attracted to me. Now I realize that it was out of insecurity on his part. I
never had his support during the pre-op procedures, therapy etc. He was so
adament he didnt want me to have surgery. I remember coming out of surgery
and getting back to my room and he was no where to be found for the next 4
hours. I eventually had to realize that I had to do this for me and me
alone. I am very proud of the strides I have made but I am thankful to be
rid of the 225 lb weight that would have loved for me to remaine 400lbs. I
wish everyone much success and my prayers as this journey seems to
continue.... .on and on....Enjoy the ride.
--- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com, Sheila Derrwaldt
<sderrwaldt@ ...> wrote:
>
> Norma,
> I wish you a lot of luck. Your road ahead won't be easy but it will be
> healthier and saner.
> Big hugs,
> Sheila
>
>
>
>
>________________________________
> From: Norma . Walczak <izzscruff2@ ...>
> To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
> Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 7:15:18 PM
> Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old
> habits...help! !
>
>
>
>
>
> I have not had a chance to reply till now. Don't want my husband around
> while I am writings. I did not know that he had a drinking problem before
> we were married and it did not come out for the first few years, but after
> the surgery, the demon came out. He drinks every night, and I have learned
> to stay away from him even if it means to go to bed early. He is verbally
> abusive and even throws things and bangs doors. He has not touched me in
> over 2 years. My self esteem is rock bottom, but then I look at guys that
> I work with or have to interact with that try to talk to me and tell me
> that I am pretty. I have talked with our pastor who already knew we were
> at the end. She has tried to talk to us and every time he sits and cries
> like a baby which is his self defense to get the problem off of him. She
> caught on quickly to that stupid action. We no longer talk, he sits and
> smokes his cigarettes, drinks coffee in the morning then comes the booze.
> He has gained
> 120# and tells everyone why he is fat is that I force him to eat. Yes I
> cook meals, but he would rather have ice cream sundae, bananna splits,
> baked goods or greasy hamburgers that he gets while at work.
>
> Ok enough ranting. I guess that our marriage was never as strong as I
> thought it was, no one's fault, but know that I am not happy and need to
> get out soon for my own sanity.
>
> Norma
> --- On Wed, 6/17/09, goldengyrl_4life <goldengyrl_ 4life@ yahoo.com> wrote:
>
> From: goldengyrl_4life <goldengyrl_ 4life@ yahoo.com>
> Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old
> habits....help! !
> To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
> Date: Wednesday, June 17, 2009, 5:56 AM
>
> --- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com, "Victoria" <afterwls@ .>
> wrote:
> >
> > in my experience, I became a 'born again healthy person'. My ex-spouse
> > was not interested in exercising, or losing any weight. He wanted the
> > status quo to remain the same, that is, a nice 'safe' wife who didn't
> > rock the lifestyle boat. When I lost weight and started dressing in a
> > stylish, if not sexy manner, he protested by being verbally abusive and
> > avoiding me, when he wasn't trying to sabotage my diet. He started
> > drinking more (he already had a drinking problem). In short, he couldn't
> > deal with the new me, and we grew apart, and finally, I gave up and left
> > (but not until after 24 marriage counselling sessions).
> >
> > -Vic
> > group founder
> >
> > --- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com, "Pearson, John"
> > <john.pearson@ > wrote:
> > >
> > > I am having issues in my marriage as well. My wife had the surgery in
> > > July of last year.
> > > Could you elaborate on "putting a strain on my marriage" what problems
> > > are you having if I'm not getting to personal.
> > >
> > > John Pearson
> >
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
__________________________________________________________
Hotmail® has ever-growing storage! Don't worry about storage limits.
http://windowslive. com/Tutorial/ Hotmail/Storage? ocid=TXT_ TAGLM_WL_ HM_Tutorial_ Storage_062009
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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Yahoo! Groups Links
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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Messages in this topic (88)
________________________________________________________________________
4.3. Re: falling back intooldhabits...help!!
Posted by: "Sheila Derrwaldt" sderrwaldt@yahoo.com sderrwaldt
Date: Fri Jun 19, 2009 6:31 pm ((PDT))
Thanks Kelly!
________________________________
From: Kelly <kdies@verizon.net>
To: After WLS <afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com>
Sent: Friday, June 19, 2009 5:57:46 PM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back intooldhabits...help!!
Thank you Sheila
I honor your son and his duty but am glad that he's out now.
Thanks for the prayers!
Kelly
Sent from her BlackBerry
-----Original Message-----
From: Sheila Derrwaldt <sderrwaldt@yahoo.com>
Date: Fri, 19 Jun 2009 13:09:15
To: <afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com>
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back intooldhabits...help!!
Hi Kelly,
Yes, my son is out of the service now. He had one tour of about 16 months + and one of 13 months, after being on the DMZ in Korea for almost a year. He was in Ramadi both times, in Military Intelligence. The longer tour ended up keeping him in the Army almost a year past his original exit date.
Those flat rate boxes were a life saver!
I will pray your loved one comes home safe, sound and sane.
Sheila
________________________________
From: Kelly <kdies@verizon.net>
To: afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Friday, June 19, 2009 11:27:14 AM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back intooldhabits...help!!
He's in Taji. This is his second tour. The last one was 18 months long 2004/2005 this one is exactly a year 2008/2009
I use the flat rate shipping boxes to send to him every other week. He loves it. I'll just be glad when it is OVER.... September cant come soon enough ;)
Is your son out of it now?
kelly
----- Original Message -----
From: Sheila Derrwaldt
To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
Sent: Friday, June 19, 2009 7:46 AM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back intooldhabits. ..help!!
My son was in the Army for over 5 yrs and had 2 very long deployments to Iraq. Where in Iraq is your husband? I wish him lots of luck and send him lots of love from a grateful nation. Also, you can get flat rate priority mail boxes at the PO and send him lots of stuff, cheaply. I sent my son a box every week and all the guys loved it!
Good luck Kelly!!!
Sheila
________________________________
From: Kelly <kdies@verizon. net>
To: After WLS <afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com>
Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 4:24:31 PM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back intooldhabits. ..help!!
He's army national guard. Some call that a "weekend warrior" but they all protect the same regardless. Right?
Oh, you'll feel a lot of feelings after your surgery. Good, bad! You'll experience a lot.
Kelly
Sent from her BlackBerry
-----Original Message-----
From: "Brenda S." <cherokee_bren_ 324@yahoo. com>
Date: Thu, 18 Jun 2009 13:12:24
To: <afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com>
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into
oldhabits... help!!
I cant wait for that feeling! My own surgery was just approved and am having surgery on July 29th. What branch of service is your husband in? My husband is a Marine veteran but that old saying "once a Marine always a Marine" is so true. I will keep him in my prayers that he is safe through this deployment!
________________________________
From: Kelly <kdies@verizon. net>
To: After WLS <afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com>
Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 3:58:35 PM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into oldhabits... help!!
Thanks Brenda! Maybe we'll actually match as a couple now! He weighs 130lbs soaking wet hahaha. I'll feel more secure around him. I can't wait ;)
~Kel
Sent from her BlackBerry
-----Original Message-----
From: "Brenda S." <cherokee_bren_ 324@yahoo. com>
Date: Thu, 18 Jun 2009 12:52:16
To: <afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com>
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old
habits...help! !
He will have a brand new wife when he returns Kelly! You have done an amazing job, keep up the good work!
________________________________
From: Kelly <kdies@verizon. net>
To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 11:58:39 AM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old habits...help! !
I do have to say that my husband was all for my surgery.. Of course he saw
things that would benefit him in the long run... lol (if you know what I
mean).
I am so happy to have his support and understanding. I cant wait til he gets
home from this deployment to see me! I was only 5 months post op when he
left for deployment. Now I am 14 months post op and 117lbs lighter ;)
Kelly
----- Original Message -----
From: "kelli hodges" <keldred24@hotmail. com>
To: <afterweightlosssur g ery@yahoogroups. com>
Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 10:14 AM
Subject: RE: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old
habits...help! !
i understand.. .my husband did not want me to have the surgery either.
luckily he is ok with it now but he is not happy that i have lost 80
lbs...but i am happy. so i think he is ok with it now. my mother says that
he liked me heavy because he didnt have to worry that someone else would
want me...she thinks its insecurity also. i think my marriage is fine but
who really knows my mother was married for 25yrs before her divorce and she
didnt have wls...i figure if he cant love me smaller than he never loved me
at all.
kelli
To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
From: goldengyrl_4life@ yahoo.com
Date: Thu, 18 Jun 2009 12:38:46 +0000
Subject: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old
habits...help! !
I realized this morning that my post never showed so I am trying it again. I
will be the first to admit that my marriage might not have been as strong as
I thought it was but I never thought WLS would have been the reason for my
divorce. My ex has adamently stated that after WLS he was no longer
attracted to me. Now I realize that it was out of insecurity on his part. I
never had his support during the pre-op procedures, therapy etc. He was so
adament he didnt want me to have surgery. I remember coming out of surgery
and getting back to my room and he was no where to be found for the next 4
hours. I eventually had to realize that I had to do this for me and me
alone. I am very proud of the strides I have made but I am thankful to be
rid of the 225 lb weight that would have loved for me to remaine 400lbs. I
wish everyone much success and my prayers as this journey seems to
continue.... .on and on.....Enjoy the ride.
--- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com, Sheila Derrwaldt
<sderrwaldt@ ...> wrote:
>
> Norma,
> I wish you a lot of luck. Your road ahead won't be easy but it will be
> healthier and saner.
> Big hugs,
> Sheila
>
>
>
>
>________________________________
> From: Norma . Walczak <izzscruff2@ ...>
> To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
> Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 7:15:18 PM
> Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old
> habits...help! !
>
>
>
>
>
> I have not had a chance to reply till now. Don't want my husband around
> while I am writings. I did not know that he had a drinking problem before
> we were married and it did not come out for the first few years, but after
> the surgery, the demon came out. He drinks every night, and I have learned
> to stay away from him even if it means to go to bed early. He is verbally
> abusive and even throws things and bangs doors. He has not touched me in
> over 2 years. My self esteem is rock bottom, but then I look at guys that
> I work with or have to interact with that try to talk to me and tell me
> that I am pretty. I have talked with our pastor who already knew we were
> at the end. She has tried to talk to us and every time he sits and cries
> like a baby which is his self defense to get the problem off of him. She
> caught on quickly to that stupid action. We no longer talk, he sits and
> smokes his cigarettes, drinks coffee in the morning then comes the booze.
> He has gained
> 120# and tells everyone why he is fat is that I force him to eat. Yes I
> cook meals, but he would rather have ice cream sundae, bananna splits,
> baked goods or greasy hamburgers that he gets while at work.
>
> Ok enough ranting. I guess that our marriage was never as strong as I
> thought it was, no one's fault, but know that I am not happy and need to
> get out soon for my own sanity.
>
> Norma
> --- On Wed, 6/17/09, goldengyrl_4life <goldengyrl_ 4life@ yahoo.com> wrote:
>
> From: goldengyrl_4life <goldengyrl_ 4life@ yahoo.com>
> Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old
> habits....help! !
> To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
> Date: Wednesday, June 17, 2009, 5:56 AM
>
> --- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com, "Victoria" <afterwls@ .>
> wrote:
> >
> > in my experience, I became a 'born again healthy person'. My ex-spouse
> > was not interested in exercising, or losing any weight. He wanted the
> > status quo to remain the same, that is, a nice 'safe' wife who didn't
> > rock the lifestyle boat. When I lost weight and started dressing in a
> > stylish, if not sexy manner, he protested by being verbally abusive and
> > avoiding me, when he wasn't trying to sabotage my diet. He started
> > drinking more (he already had a drinking problem). In short, he couldn't
> > deal with the new me, and we grew apart, and finally, I gave up and left
> > (but not until after 24 marriage counselling sessions).
> >
> > -Vic
> > group founder
> >
> > --- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups.. com, "Pearson, John"
> > <john.pearson@ > wrote:
> > >
> > > I am having issues in my marriage as well. My wife had the surgery in
> > > July of last year.
> > > Could you elaborate on "putting a strain on my marriage" what problems
> > > are you having if I'm not getting to personal.
> > >
> > > John Pearson
> >
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
__________________________________________________________
Hotmail® has ever-growing storage! Don't worry about storage limits.
http://windowslive. com/Tutorial/ Hotmail/Storage? ocid=TXT_ TAGLM_WL_ HM_Tutorial_ Storage_062009
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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------------------------------------
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Messages in this topic (88)
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
5a. Re: Lactose Intolerant?
Posted by: "patty7194@aol.com" patty7194@aol.com patty7194
Date: Fri Jun 19, 2009 3:06 pm ((PDT))
Hi Peace Lee,
I like the Click protein shakes, which are calcium caseinate-based and I tolerate them well, although they are a bit higher in carbs than some of the others. Also, Jay Robb whey-based protein shakes are isolate-based, and the Isopure line; also the Syntrax Nectar line. You mix these with ice and water and blend. Some of the Syntrax Nectar ones are more like a fruit juice texture and flavor, but they all mix with water. Gayle has some great suggestions posted about the shakes, too. As far as the Lactaid is concerned, the instructions are to take them right before you drink milk or other dairy.
Hope this helps.
Patty
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Messages in this topic (7)
________________________________________________________________________
5b. Re: Lactose Intolerant?
Posted by: "TheAgora81@aol.com" TheAgora81@aol.com theagora81
Date: Fri Jun 19, 2009 4:47 pm ((PDT))
LOL its just lee. I get lazy and dont put in the comma, forgive me.
I went out and bought lactaid pills and some GNC Protein Milk that is a
whey isolate so lets see what happens. The man there almost talked me into
buying the banana creme $99 on sale for only $49 but I didn't know if this
powder would work with lactose intolerant people. So I asked for a sample. he
said that you can take the canister home, open it, take a scoop or two and then
return it if it doesn't agree with you, wow. But I wanted to buy a small
amount, so I saw the ready made shakes of the same protein for $10. I haven't
tried it out yet but I will let you know if it is lactose tolerant.
I am copying all of everyone's important information. This will be so
important for those after us as well. But as for me, I am ignorant of this
process and so very grateful for all of the information from you guys. Its very
important to know what to do to take better care of yourself. But when there
is not anyone around to be found, your info is gold!
Thanks peace,
lee
Hi Peace Lee,
I like the Click protein shakes, which are calcium caseinate-based and I
tolerate them well, although they are a bit higher in carbs than some of the
others. Also, Jay Robb whey-based protein shakes are isolate-based, and the
Isopure line; also the Syntrax Nectar line. You mix these with ice and
water and blend. Some of the Syntrax Nectar ones are more like a fruit juice
texture and flavor, but they all mix with water. Gayle has some great
suggestions posted about the shakes, too. As far as the Lactaid is concerned, the
instructions are to take them right before you drink milk or other dairy.
Hope this helps.
Patty
**************Dell Inspiron 15: Now starting at $349
(http://pr.atwola.com/promoclk/100126575x1222435718x1201460505/aol?redir=http:%2F%2Fad.doubleclick.
net%2Fclk%3B215748553%3B38126199%3Bs)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Messages in this topic (7)
________________________________________________________________________
5c. Re: Lactose Intolerant?
Posted by: "Kelly" kdies@verizon.net kellone2
Date: Fri Jun 19, 2009 7:22 pm ((PDT))
Did you like the banana that I sent you Lee? I did send it to you right? I love it ;)
~Kel
Sent from her BlackBerry
-----Original Message-----
From: TheAgora81@aol.com
Date: Fri, 19 Jun 2009 19:47:12
To: <afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com>
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: Lactose Intolerant?
LOL its just lee. I get lazy and dont put in the comma, forgive me.
I went out and bought lactaid pills and some GNC Protein Milk that is a
whey isolate so lets see what happens. The man there almost talked me into
buying the banana creme $99 on sale for only $49 but I didn't know if this
powder would work with lactose intolerant people. So I asked for a sample. he
said that you can take the canister home, open it, take a scoop or two and then
return it if it doesn't agree with you, wow. But I wanted to buy a small
amount, so I saw the ready made shakes of the same protein for $10. I haven't
tried it out yet but I will let you know if it is lactose tolerant.
I am copying all of everyone's important information. This will be so
important for those after us as well. But as for me, I am ignorant of this
process and so very grateful for all of the information from you guys. Its very
important to know what to do to take better care of yourself. But when there
is not anyone around to be found, your info is gold!
Thanks peace,
lee
Hi Peace Lee,
I like the Click protein shakes, which are calcium caseinate-based and I
tolerate them well, although they are a bit higher in carbs than some of the
others. Also, Jay Robb whey-based protein shakes are isolate-based, and the
Isopure line; also the Syntrax Nectar line. You mix these with ice and
water and blend. Some of the Syntrax Nectar ones are more like a fruit juice
texture and flavor, but they all mix with water. Gayle has some great
suggestions posted about the shakes, too. As far as the Lactaid is concerned, the
instructions are to take them right before you drink milk or other dairy.
Hope this helps.
Patty
**************Dell Inspiron 15: Now starting at $349
(http://pr.atwola.com/promoclk/100126575x1222435718x1201460505/aol?redir=http:%2F%2Fad.doubleclick.
net%2Fclk%3B215748553%3B38126199%3Bs)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Messages in this topic (7)
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
6a. Hi all
Posted by: "Brenda" brendac313@yahoo.com brendac313
Date: Fri Jun 19, 2009 7:28 pm ((PDT))
I tried a banana form from the hospital pharmacy...it was horrid. Now I'm afraid to try the others. This whole process is starting to scare me to death, and I haven't had the surgery yet. I just don't know what to do. I need it and it would help me, if it doesn't kill me first. I don't think I could stand being lactose intolerant and does it get better after surgery if you get that way. I haven't went to GNC yet but I'm not sure what to look for if I do.
brenda
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Messages in this topic (4)
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