Quick Weight Loss Tips: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Digest Number 1887

There are 25 messages in this issue.

Topics in this digest:

1a. Re: Lactose Intolerant?
From: TheAgora81@aol.com
1b. Re: Lactose Intolerant?
From: Cheeks7514@aol.com
1c. Re: Lactose Intolerant?
From: TheAgora81@aol.com

2.1. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
From: Elaine Fugina
2.2. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
From: Sheila Derrwaldt
2.3. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
From: Sheila Derrwaldt
2.4. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
From: Sheila Derrwaldt
2.5. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
From: Cheeks7514@aol.com
2.6. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
From: Lin Hunnicutt
2.7. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
From: Pearson, John
2.8. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
From: Brenda
2.9. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
From: Valana Darrell
2.10. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
From: Valana Darrell
2.11. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
From: Pearson, John
2.12. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
From: TheAgora81@aol.com
2.13. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
From: Kelly
2.14. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
From: TheAgora81@aol.com
2.15. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
From: Josie Chapaconner
2.16. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
From: Dorothy M. Rosa Durkee

3a. Re: Insurance Approval
From: Sheila Derrwaldt

4a. Re: Norma
From: Sheila Derrwaldt

5.1. Re: falling back intooldhabits...help!!
From: Sheila Derrwaldt
5.2. Re: falling back intooldhabits...help!!
From: Kelly
5.3. Re: falling back intooldhabits...help!!
From: mommy
5.4. Re: falling back intooldhabits...help!!
From: Kelly

Messages
________________________________________________________________________
1a. Re: Lactose Intolerant?
Posted by: "TheAgora81@aol.com" TheAgora81@aol.com theagora81
Date: Thu Jun 18, 2009 9:30 pm ((PDT))

Well thanks Patti, I needed that information too. Still trying to figure
the whole LI thing out. Any other suggestions on this subject?

peace lee

Hi Judy,

I too have the problem of being lactose intolerant. You can try the soy,
as suggested, or in my case I discovered I could tolerate the shakes
containing whey protein ISOLATE, not whey protein concentrate.You can try the soy,
as suggested, or in my case I discovered I could tolerate the shakes
containing whey protein ISOLATE, not whey prot The other option, if you have already
a stash of shakes with whey protein concentrate, is to purchase lactase
over the counter. Digestive Advantage has a lactose-intolerance formula;
there's also a product called Lact-Aid, which when taken with the shakes, adds
the missing lactase to your system.

Good luck!!

Patty in UT

**************Dell Inspiron 15: Now starting at $349
(http://pr.atwola.com/promoclk/100126575x1222435718x1201460505/aol?redir=http:%2F%2Fad.doubleclick.
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Messages in this topic (4)
________________________________________________________________________
1b. Re: Lactose Intolerant?
Posted by: "Cheeks7514@aol.com" Cheeks7514@aol.com saraamy1985
Date: Fri Jun 19, 2009 5:38 am ((PDT))

Patty
Thanks. That soy milk is NASTY!!!!!!!!!! I forgot about the
Lactaid. I have been drinking milk all my life and since the surgery......UGH.
Judy
PRAISE God for the Roses. THANK God for the thorns.

In a message dated 6/18/2009 9:01:09 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,
patty7194@aol.com writes:

Hi Judy,

I too have the problem of being lactose intolerant. You can try the soy,
as suggested, or in my case I discovered I could tolerate the shakes
containing whey protein ISOLATE, not whey protein concentrate.You can try the soy,
as suggested, or in my case I discovered I could tolerate the shakes
containing whey protein ISOLATE, not whey protein The other option, if you have
already a stash of shakes with whey protein concentrate, is to purchase
lactase over the counter. Digestive Advantage has a lactose-intolerance
formula; there's also a product called Lact-Aid, which when taken with the
shakes, adds the missing lactase to your system.

Good luck!!

Patty in UT

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

**************Download the AOL Classifieds Toolbar for local deals at your
fingertips.
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Messages in this topic (4)
________________________________________________________________________
1c. Re: Lactose Intolerant?
Posted by: "TheAgora81@aol.com" TheAgora81@aol.com theagora81
Date: Fri Jun 19, 2009 10:15 am ((PDT))

In a message dated 6/19/2009 8:39:24 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
Cheeks7514@aol.com writes:

Patti,
I have a question? What do you take the whey Isolate with? Lactaid milk or
soy milk or regular milk with the lactose pills?
Is there any protein powder that is compatible with is that you can mix
with juice or SF drinks?
And is there any other way to get in enough protein quickly? I am lacking
in protein.
MY WEIGHT HAS STALLED. I have been at the same weight and gaining 4 pounds
because I cant get in enough protein easily. My body needs more protein I
think and I need to figure out a way to get some kind of protein powder in me.
How long have you been lactose intolerant? 2 months for me and afraid to
venture out. No one around here that know much about it. Thanks for your help!
peace lee
**************Dell Inspiron 15: Now starting at $349
(http://pr.atwola.com/promoclk/100126575x1222435718x1201460505/aol?redir=http:%2F%2Fad.doubleclick.
net%2Fclk%3B215748553%3B38126199%3Bs)

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Messages in this topic (4)
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
2.1. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
Posted by: "Elaine Fugina" efugina@yahoo.com efugina
Date: Thu Jun 18, 2009 11:00 pm ((PDT))

Dear Brenda,
This statement is very offensive (or should be) to most. Please try to curb these racial comments. Another way to say the same thing without being insulting might be, "she is over 21 and able to think for herself." or something along that line. Thank you, Elaine

--- On Thu, 6/18/09, Brenda <brendac313@yahoo.com> wrote:

From: Brenda <brendac313@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old habits....help!!
To: afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com
Date: Thursday, June 18, 2009, 4:35 PM

She's free, white, and over 21

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Messages in this topic (72)
________________________________________________________________________
2.2. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
Posted by: "Sheila Derrwaldt" sderrwaldt@yahoo.com sderrwaldt
Date: Fri Jun 19, 2009 4:39 am ((PDT))

Brenda,
Hear hear!!!
Sheila

________________________________
From: Brenda <brendac313@yahoo.com>
To: afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 11:19:50 AM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old habits...help!!

Don't be more dead weight...that' s a good start. Your wife is excited and found a new life that she hasn't had in years, if she ever did. Everything is new and exciting and you have a chance to see things through her eyes. Be happy for her, listen to her, and go places with her. She may want to try new things, old things she couldn't do before...but just be there.. Fellas are going to look no matter what age, size, or body style any of us have, they just make more noise about it when your skinny...that' s all it is. Let them look, I look, none of us are dead yet...it's when it's touching it crosses a line. It's a new toy and it's Christmas time...enjoy. Things will calm down...help her think of things to do if she is active. Look, if someone is going to cheat, they are going to cheat and there is nothing anybody can do about it, but no sense driving anybody to it by being jealous and over-protective. Hanging on too tight just strangles. Let her
know your there, have fun, maybe the two of you plan something together to celebrate.

brenda

____________ _________ _________ __
From: "Pearson, John" <john.pearson@ hp.com>
To: "afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com" <afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com>
Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 8:13:39 AM
Subject: RE: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old habits...help! !

Norma,

Good luck in your situation I'm really sorry you have to feel the way you do after feeling so much better about yourself after surgery.
My situation is that I am a very insecure person always have been. Now that my wife has lost weight and is getting more attention from the fellas I get really jealous. I know this is something I need to work on so I am trying. Just don't know how.

John Pearson
Inventory Analyst
Cell: 281-799-9118
Office @ Exel: 713-934-1536

____________ _________ _________ __
From: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com [mailto:afterweight losssurg ery@yahoogroups. com] On Behalf Of goldengyrl_4life
Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 7:39 AM
To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
Subject: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old habits...help! !

I realized this morning that my post never showed so I am trying it again. I will be the first to admit that my marriage might not have been as strong as I thought it was but I never thought WLS would have been the reason for my divorce. My ex has adamently stated that after WLS he was no longer attracted to me. Now I realize that it was out of insecurity on his part. I never had his support during the pre-op procedures, therapy etc. He was so adament he didnt want me to have surgery. I remember coming out of surgery and getting back to my room and he was no where to be found for the next 4 hours. I eventually had to realize that I had to do this for me and me alone. I am very proud of the strides I have made but I am thankful to be rid of the 225 lb weight that would have loved for me to remaine 400lbs. I wish everyone much success and my prayers as this journey seems to continue.... .on and on....Enjoy the ride.

--- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com<mailto:afterwei ght losssurgery% 40yahoogroups. com>, Sheila Derrwaldt <sderrwaldt@ ...> wrote:
>
> Norma,
> I wish you a lot of luck. Your road ahead won't be easy but it will be healthier and saner.
> Big hugs,
> Sheila
>
>
>
>
> ____________ _________ _________ __
> From: Norma . Walczak <izzscruff2@ ...>
> To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com<mailto:afterwei ght losssurgery% 40yahoogroups. com>
> Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 7:15:18 PM
> Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits....help! !
>
>
>
>
>
> I have not had a chance to reply till now.. Don't want my husband around while I am writings. I did not know that he had a drinking problem before we were married and it did not come out for the first few years, but after the surgery, the demon came out. He drinks every night, and I have learned to stay away from him even if it means to go to bed early. He is verbally abusive and even throws things and bangs doors.. He has not touched me in over 2 years. My self esteem is rock bottom, but then I look at guys that I work with or have to interact with that try to talk to me and tell me that I am pretty. I have talked with our pastor who already knew we were at the end. She has tried to talk to us and every time he sits and cries like a baby which is his self defense to get the problem off of him. She caught on quickly to that stupid action. We no longer talk, he sits and smokes his cigarettes, drinks coffee in the morning then comes the booze. He has gained
> 120# and tells everyone why he is fat is that I force him to eat. Yes I cook meals, but he would rather have ice cream sundae, bananna splits, baked goods or greasy hamburgers that he gets while at work.
>
> Ok enough ranting. I guess that our marriage was never as strong as I thought it was, no one's fault, but know that I am not happy and need to get out soon for my own sanity.
>
> Norma
> --- On Wed, 6/17/09, goldengyrl_4life <goldengyrl_ 4life@ yahoo.com> wrote:
>
> From: goldengyrl_4life <goldengyrl_ 4life@ yahoo.com>
> Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help! !
> To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
> Date: Wednesday, June 17, 2009, 5:56 AM
>
> --- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com, "Victoria" <afterwls@ .> wrote:
> >
> > in my experience, I became a 'born again healthy person'. My ex-spouse was not interested in exercising, or losing any weight. He wanted the status quo to remain the same, that is, a nice 'safe' wife who didn't rock the lifestyle boat. When I lost weight and started dressing in a stylish, if not sexy manner, he protested by being verbally abusive and avoiding me, when he wasn't trying to sabotage my diet. He started drinking more (he already had a drinking problem). In short, he couldn't deal with the new me, and we grew apart, and finally, I gave up and left (but not until after 24 marriage counselling sessions).
> >
> > -Vic
> > group founder
> >
> > --- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com, "Pearson, John" <john.pearson@ > wrote:
> > >
> > > I am having issues in my marriage as well. My wife had the surgery in July of last year.
> > > Could you elaborate on "putting a strain on my marriage" what problems are you having if I'm not getting to personal.
> > >
> > > John Pearson
> >
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Messages in this topic (72)
________________________________________________________________________
2.3. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
Posted by: "Sheila Derrwaldt" sderrwaldt@yahoo.com sderrwaldt
Date: Fri Jun 19, 2009 4:40 am ((PDT))

John,
Why wouldn't you want to go too? Go enjoy life too!
Sheila

________________________________
From: "Pearson, John" <john.pearson@hp.com>
To: "afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com" <afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com>
Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 11:41:31 AM
Subject: RE: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old habits...help!!

Thanks Brenda I know this it's just putting it into action that's the hard part.
Am I to let her go out by herself if I don't want to go?

John Pearson
Inventory Analyst
Cell: 281-799-9118
Office @ Exel: 713-934-1536

____________ _________ _________ __
From: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com [mailto:afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com] On Behalf Of Brenda
Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 10:20 AM
To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old habits...help! !

Don't be more dead weight...that' s a good start. Your wife is excited and found a new life that she hasn't had in years, if she ever did. Everything is new and exciting and you have a chance to see things through her eyes. Be happy for her, listen to her, and go places with her. She may want to try new things, old things she couldn't do before...but just be there. Fellas are going to look no matter what age, size, or body style any of us have, they just make more noise about it when your skinny...that' s all it is. Let them look, I look, none of us are dead yet...it's when it's touching it crosses a line. It's a new toy and it's Christmas time...enjoy. Things will calm down....help her think of things to do if she is active. Look, if someone is going to cheat, they are going to cheat and there is nothing anybody can do about it, but no sense driving anybody to it by being jealous and over-protective. Hanging on too tight just strangles. Let her
know your there, have fun, maybe the two of you plan something together to celebrate.

brenda

____________ _________ _________ __
From: "Pearson, John" <john.pearson@ hp.com<mailto:john. pearson%40hp. com>>
To: "afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com<mailto:afterweight losssurgery% 40yahoogroups. com>" <afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com<mailto:afterweight losssurgery% 40yahoogroups. com>>
Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 8:13:39 AM
Subject: RE: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old habits...help! !

Norma,

John Pearson
Inventory Analyst
Cell: 281-799-9118
Office @ Exel: 713-934-1536

--- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com<mailto:afterwei ght losssurgery% 40yahoogroups. com>, Sheila Derrwaldt <sderrwaldt@ ...> wrote:
>
> Norma,
> I wish you a lot of luck. Your road ahead won't be easy but it will be healthier and saner.
> Big hugs,
> Sheila
>
>
>
>
> ____________ _________ _________ __
> From: Norma . Walczak <izzscruff2@ ...>
> To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com<mailto:afterwei ght losssurgery% 40yahoogroups. com>
> Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 7:15:18 PM
> Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help! !
>
>
>
>
>
> I have not had a chance to reply till now. Don't want my husband around while I am writings. I did not know that he had a drinking problem before we were married and it did not come out for the first few years, but after the surgery, the demon came out. He drinks every night, and I have learned to stay away from him even if it means to go to bed early. He is verbally abusive and even throws things and bangs doors. He has not touched me in over 2 years. My self esteem is rock bottom, but then I look at guys that I work with or have to interact with that try to talk to me and tell me that I am pretty. I have talked with our pastor who already knew we were at the end. She has tried to talk to us and every time he sits and cries like a baby which is his self defense to get the problem off of him. She caught on quickly to that stupid action. We no longer talk, he sits and smokes his cigarettes, drinks coffee in the morning then comes the booze. He has gained
> 120# and tells everyone why he is fat is that I force him to eat. Yes I cook meals, but he would rather have ice cream sundae, bananna splits, baked goods or greasy hamburgers that he gets while at work.
>
> Ok enough ranting. I guess that our marriage was never as strong as I thought it was, no one's fault, but know that I am not happy and need to get out soon for my own sanity.
>
> Norma
> --- On Wed, 6/17/09, goldengyrl_4life <goldengyrl_ 4life@ yahoo.com> wrote:
>
> From: goldengyrl_4life <goldengyrl_ 4life@ yahoo.com>
> Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help! !
> To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
> Date: Wednesday, June 17, 2009, 5:56 AM
>
> --- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com, "Victoria" <afterwls@ .> wrote:
> >
> > in my experience, I became a 'born again healthy person'. My ex-spouse was not interested in exercising, or losing any weight. He wanted the status quo to remain the same, that is, a nice 'safe' wife who didn't rock the lifestyle boat. When I lost weight and started dressing in a stylish, if not sexy manner, he protested by being verbally abusive and avoiding me, when he wasn't trying to sabotage my diet. He started drinking more (he already had a drinking problem). In short, he couldn't deal with the new me, and we grew apart, and finally, I gave up and left (but not until after 24 marriage counselling sessions).
> >
> > -Vic
> > group founder
> >
> > --- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com, "Pearson, John" <john.pearson@ > wrote:
> > >
> > > I am having issues in my marriage as well. My wife had the surgery in July of last year.
> > > Could you elaborate on "putting a strain on my marriage" what problems are you having if I'm not getting to personal.
> > >
> > > John Pearson
> >
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Messages in this topic (72)
________________________________________________________________________
2.4. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
Posted by: "Sheila Derrwaldt" sderrwaldt@yahoo.com sderrwaldt
Date: Fri Jun 19, 2009 4:48 am ((PDT))

Judy,
You have to eat very slowly at first and very very little. I don't recall the schedule of what I could eat at 10 days out, but I don't think I was up to protein shakes at that point. Didn't your doctor's office give you a very tight schedule of what to eat, when and how much? Find out.
Good luck!
Sheila

________________________________
From: "Cheeks7514@aol.com" <Cheeks7514@aol.com>
To: afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 12:53:48 PM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help!!

Could you please explain what you mean?? I'm 59, female, etc. This is
new to me. A question for the experts. I am now about 10 days out and it
seems that everytime I drink my protein shakes I get cramps and "dump". Is
this "normal"?
Judy
PRAISE God for the Roses. THANK God for the thorns.

In a message dated 6/18/2009 8:11:28 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time,
sderrwaldt@yahoo. com writes:

No, I don't get more attention from guys! I'm 57!!! No one looks at
middle-aged women. :) But, I notice that people don't notice me like they did
when I was heavy. I just fit in better every place, and feel so much healthier
and shopping is a lot easier. I would say more confidence because of less
shame.

____________ _________ _________ __
From: "Pearson, John" <_john.pearson@ john.p_ (mailto:john.pearson@ hp.com) >
To: "_afterweightlosssu rgafterweightlos ssaft_
(mailto:afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com) " <_afterweightlosssu rgafterweightlos ssaft_
(mailto:afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com) >
Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 4:40:20 PM
Subject: RE: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old
habits...help! S

So from someone that has had the surgery can you tell me what is different
, of course besides being littler, in your life for example are you
getting more attention from the guys or more self confidence what is different
over all?

John Pearson

From: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com [mailto:afterweight From:
afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com [mailto:after
Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 1:29 PM
To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old
habits...help! !

Hi Karen,
I agree 100% and I think the doctors and pre-surgerical psychologist told
us the same thing. It's very true. I'd like to add that if a large part of
someone's relationship is food centered and eating out and things like
that, it's going to be rough going for some time because the last thing a
post-op wants to do is eat. You want to lose!
Talk it all out in advance if you can.
Sheila

____________ _________ _________ __
From: Karen Cortez <kikae1@comcast. net<mailto:kikae1% 40comcast. net>>
To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups.
com<mailto:afterwei mailto:afterweight losssurgery% 40>
Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 12:08:24 PM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old
habits...help! !

Hello,

I have been married for 15 years, together for 18 years. We are still
going like we always have. He is concerned about my weight because I have
gained so much back, but, other than that there is no real problems. I will tell
you what my surgeon told us at the meeting. If you have a good marriage it
can get better, if you have a bad marriage it will probably get worse. If
you figure some men think of a fat spouse as SAFE then you understand. Also
the new attention from other men or women can make the current partner
feel very insecure and it is hard sometimes to make them understand that it is
just what it is and if you are truly happy then it will not hurt the
relationship.

Karen Cortez

----- Original Message -----
From: "Brenda S." <cherokee_bren_ 324@yahoo. com>
To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 10:55:12 AM GMT -05:00 US/Canada Eastern
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old
habits....help! !

Is there anyone out there that has had success with staying married and
improving their marriage after surgery? I have just been approved for surgery
and will be celebrating my 1st anniversary this weekend. All this talk is
very discouraging to me! I would rather be overweight with the love of my
life because we are very happy than to be at a much lower weight and be
miserable. I am very healthy other than my weight so I guess I am on the fence
right now!

____________ _________ _________ __
From: Janet Kilpatrick < pinkie1153@yahoo. com >
To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 9:37:09 AM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old
habits...help! !

Gosh, that sounds so much like what I am going through right now. It just
makes me want to cry. I told my husband when I got the surgery (and I truly
meant it) that we were not going to be among the stastitics.

But I just can't take much more.

Janet

____________ _________ _________ __
From: Victoria <afterwls@aol. com>
To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. To: a
Sent: Tuesday, June 16, 2009 10:09:19 PM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old
habits...help! !

in my experience, I became a 'born again healthy person'. My ex-spouse was
not interested in exercising, or losing any weight. He wanted the status
quo to remain the same, that is, a nice 'safe' wife who didn't rock the
lifestyle boat. When I lost weight and started dressing in a stylish, if not
sexy manner, he protested by being verbally abusive and avoiding me, when he
wasn't trying to sabotage my diet. He started drinking more (he already had
a drinking problem). In short, he couldn't deal with the new me, and we
grew apart, and finally, I gave up and left (but not until after 24 marriage
counselling sessions).

-Vic
group founder

--- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com, "Pearson, John"
<john.pearson@ ...> wrote:
>
> I am having issues in my marriage as well. My wife had the surgery in
July of last year.
> Could you elaborate on "putting a strain on my marriage" what problems
are you having if I'm not getting to personal.
>
> John Pearson

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

************ **Download the AOL Classifieds Toolbar for local deals at your
fingertips.
(http://toolbar. aol.com/aolclass ifieds/download. html?ncid= emlcntusdown0000 0004)

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Messages in this topic (72)
________________________________________________________________________
2.5. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
Posted by: "Cheeks7514@aol.com" Cheeks7514@aol.com saraamy1985
Date: Fri Jun 19, 2009 5:54 am ((PDT))

Shelia
Yes the doctor/center gave me a very strict list. They started me
and everyone on protein shakes on day 3. I can "eat" nothing. Just liquids.
Protein shakes (4oz.) 6 times a day. Crystal light, no soda, etc.
Minimum of 60g. protein per day and minimum of 64 oz total of fluid per day. To
be honest giving up my Diet Coke was hard, hard, hard. I used to love to
start my day with decaff coffee and end with hot tea, now, I can't stand
both. I hope that will change over time but if not....oh well. We had to take
6 months of classes etc. Due to the other health risks I did 6 months of
education in just 1. I threatened to change my address to Geisinger
Medical Center. hahahaha. Insurance was a pain but finally they saw the light
when my doctor told them it was either bypass surgery or TPN........they
were very fast to approve things after that. (I guess money does talk).
Judy
PRAISE God for the Roses. THANK God for the thorns.

In a message dated 6/19/2009 7:48:46 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time,
sderrwaldt@yahoo.com writes:

Judy,
You have to eat very slowly at first and very very little. I don't recall
the schedule of what I could eat at 10 days out, but I don't think I was up
to protein shakes at that point. Didn't your doctor's office give you a
very tight schedule of what to eat, when and how much? Find out.
Good luck!
Sheila

________________________________
From: "_Cheeks7514@aol.Che_ (mailto:Cheeks7514@aol.com) "
<_Cheeks7514@aol.Che_ (mailto:Cheeks7514@aol.com) >
To: _afterweightlosssurgafterweightlosssaft_
(mailto:afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com)
Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 12:53:48 PM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old
habits...help!S

In a message dated 6/18/2009 8:11:28 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time,
sderrwaldt@yahoo. com writes:

No, I don't get more attention from guys! I'm 57!!! No one looks at
middle-aged women. :) But, I notice that people don't notice me like they
did
when I was heavy. I just fit in better every place, and feel so much
healthier
and shopping is a lot easier. I would say more confidence because of less
shame.

____________ _________ _________ __
From: "Pearson, John" <_john.pearson@ john.p_ (mailto:john._john.pearson@
jo>
To: "_afterweightlosssu rgafterweightlos ssaft_
(mailto:afterweight(mailto:afterweightlosssurg ery@<_afterweightlosssu
rgafterweightlos ssaft_
(mailto:afterweight(mailto:afterweightlosssur>
Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 4:40:20 PM
Subject: RE: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old
habits...help! S

John Pearson

Hi Karen,
I agree 100% and I think the doctors and pre-surgerical psychologist told
us the same thing. It's very true. I'd like to add that if a large part of

someone's relationship is food centered and eating out and things like
that, it's going to be rough going for some time because the last thing a
post-op wants to do is eat. You want to lose!
Talk it all out in advance if you can.
Sheila

Hello,

I have been married for 15 years, together for 18 years. We are still
going like we always have. He is concerned about my weight because I have
gained so much back, but, other than that there is no real problems. I
will tell
you what my surgeon told us at the meeting. If you have a good marriage it
can get better, if you have a bad marriage it will probably get worse. If
you figure some men think of a fat spouse as SAFE then you understand.
Also
the new attention from other men or women can make the current partner
feel very insecure and it is hard sometimes to make them understand that
it is
just what it is and if you are truly happy then it will not hurt the
relationship.

Karen Cortez

Is there anyone out there that has had success with staying married and
improving their marriage after surgery? I have just been approved for
surgery
and will be celebrating my 1st anniversary this weekend. All this talk is
very discouraging to me! I would rather be overweight with the love of my
life because we are very happy than to be at a much lower weight and be
miserable. I am very healthy other than my weight so I guess I am on the
fence
right now!

Gosh, that sounds so much like what I am going through right now. It just
makes me want to cry. I told my husband when I got the surgery (and I
truly
meant it) that we were not going to be among the stastitics.

But I just can't take much more.

Janet

in my experience, I became a 'born again healthy person'. My ex-spouse was
not interested in exercising, or losing any weight. He wanted the status
quo to remain the same, that is, a nice 'safe' wife who didn't rock the
lifestyle boat. When I lost weight and started dressing in a stylish, if
not
sexy manner, he protested by being verbally abusive and avoiding me, when
he
wasn't trying to sabotage my diet. He started drinking more (he already
had
a drinking problem). In short, he couldn't deal with the new me, and we
grew apart, and finally, I gave up and left (but not until after 24
marriage
counselling sessions).

-Vic
group founder

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

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Messages in this topic (72)
________________________________________________________________________
2.6. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
Posted by: "Lin Hunnicutt" lhsh@bellsouth.net linsue799
Date: Fri Jun 19, 2009 7:17 am ((PDT))

I am sure that will change over time and trust me, you will be able to go
back some of things that you love, and then there will be some that you used
to enjoy that you will never be able to stand.
Lin and Major
lhsh@bellsouth.net
----- Original Message -----
From: <Cheeks7514@aol.com>
To: <afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com>
Sent: Friday, June 19, 2009 8:52 AM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old
habits...help!!

Shelia
Yes the doctor/center gave me a very strict list. They started me
and everyone on protein shakes on day 3. I can "eat" nothing. Just
liquids.
Protein shakes (4oz.) 6 times a day. Crystal light, no soda, etc.
Minimum of 60g. protein per day and minimum of 64 oz total of fluid per
day. To
be honest giving up my Diet Coke was hard, hard, hard. I used to love to
start my day with decaff coffee and end with hot tea, now, I can't stand
both. I hope that will change over time but if not....oh well. We had to
take
6 months of classes etc. Due to the other health risks I did 6 months of
education in just 1. I threatened to change my address to Geisinger
Medical Center. hahahaha. Insurance was a pain but finally they saw the
light
when my doctor told them it was either bypass surgery or TPN........they
were very fast to approve things after that. (I guess money does talk).
Judy
PRAISE God for the Roses. THANK God for the thorns.

In a message dated 6/19/2009 7:48:46 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time,
sderrwaldt@yahoo.com writes:

Judy,
You have to eat very slowly at first and very very little. I don't recall
the schedule of what I could eat at 10 days out, but I don't think I was up
to protein shakes at that point. Didn't your doctor's office give you a
very tight schedule of what to eat, when and how much? Find out.
Good luck!
Sheila

In a message dated 6/18/2009 8:11:28 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time,
sderrwaldt@yahoo. com writes:

No, I don't get more attention from guys! I'm 57!!! No one looks at
middle-aged women. :) But, I notice that people don't notice me like they
did
when I was heavy. I just fit in better every place, and feel so much
healthier
and shopping is a lot easier. I would say more confidence because of less
shame.

John Pearson

Hi Karen,
I agree 100% and I think the doctors and pre-surgerical psychologist told
us the same thing. It's very true. I'd like to add that if a large part of

someone's relationship is food centered and eating out and things like
that, it's going to be rough going for some time because the last thing a
post-op wants to do is eat. You want to lose!
Talk it all out in advance if you can.
Sheila

Hello,

I have been married for 15 years, together for 18 years. We are still
going like we always have. He is concerned about my weight because I have
gained so much back, but, other than that there is no real problems. I
will tell
you what my surgeon told us at the meeting. If you have a good marriage it
can get better, if you have a bad marriage it will probably get worse. If
you figure some men think of a fat spouse as SAFE then you understand.
Also
the new attention from other men or women can make the current partner
feel very insecure and it is hard sometimes to make them understand that
it is
just what it is and if you are truly happy then it will not hurt the
relationship.

Karen Cortez

Is there anyone out there that has had success with staying married and
improving their marriage after surgery? I have just been approved for
surgery
and will be celebrating my 1st anniversary this weekend. All this talk is
very discouraging to me! I would rather be overweight with the love of my
life because we are very happy than to be at a much lower weight and be
miserable. I am very healthy other than my weight so I guess I am on the
fence
right now!

Gosh, that sounds so much like what I am going through right now. It just
makes me want to cry. I told my husband when I got the surgery (and I
truly
meant it) that we were not going to be among the stastitics.

But I just can't take much more.

Janet

in my experience, I became a 'born again healthy person'. My ex-spouse was
not interested in exercising, or losing any weight. He wanted the status
quo to remain the same, that is, a nice 'safe' wife who didn't rock the
lifestyle boat. When I lost weight and started dressing in a stylish, if
not
sexy manner, he protested by being verbally abusive and avoiding me, when
he
wasn't trying to sabotage my diet. He started drinking more (he already
had
a drinking problem). In short, he couldn't deal with the new me, and we
grew apart, and finally, I gave up and left (but not until after 24
marriage
counselling sessions).

-Vic
group founder

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

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your
fingertips.
(_http://toolbar._ (http://toolbar./) aol.com/aolclass ifieds/download.
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Messages in this topic (72)
________________________________________________________________________
2.7. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
Posted by: "Pearson, John" john.pearson@hp.com jp_unwinders
Date: Fri Jun 19, 2009 9:07 am ((PDT))

I do as often as I can but every night staying out till 1am and then getting up the next morning around 5am is just a little much for me.
I could do it on the weekends no problem and would be happy to but during the week I just can't get up that early and stay out that late.

John Pearson

________________________________
From: afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com [mailto:afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com] On Behalf Of Sheila Derrwaldt
Sent: Friday, June 19, 2009 6:40 AM
To: afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old habits...help!!

John,
Why wouldn't you want to go too? Go enjoy life too!
Sheila

________________________________
From: "Pearson, John" <john.pearson@hp.com<mailto:john.pearson%40hp.com>>
To: "afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com<mailto:afterweightlosssurgery%40yahoogroups.com>" <afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com<mailto:afterweightlosssurgery%40yahoogroups.com>>
Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 11:41:31 AM
Subject: RE: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old habits...help!!

Thanks Brenda I know this it's just putting it into action that's the hard part.
Am I to let her go out by herself if I don't want to go?

John Pearson
Inventory Analyst
Cell: 281-799-9118
Office @ Exel: 713-934-1536

Don't be more dead weight...that' s a good start. Your wife is excited and found a new life that she hasn't had in years, if she ever did. Everything is new and exciting and you have a chance to see things through her eyes. Be happy for her, listen to her, and go places with her. She may want to try new things, old things she couldn't do before...but just be there. Fellas are going to look no matter what age, size, or body style any of us have, they just make more noise about it when your skinny...that' s all it is. Let them look, I look, none of us are dead yet...it's when it's touching it crosses a line. It's a new toy and it's Christmas time...enjoy. Things will calm down....help her think of things to do if she is active. Look, if someone is going to cheat, they are going to cheat and there is nothing anybody can do about it, but no sense driving anybody to it by being jealous and over-protective. Hanging on too tight just strangles. Let her
know your there, have fun, maybe the two of you plan something together to celebrate.

brenda

Norma,

John Pearson
Inventory Analyst
Cell: 281-799-9118
Office @ Exel: 713-934-1536

--- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com<mailto:afterwei ght losssurgery% 40yahoogroups. com>, Sheila Derrwaldt <sderrwaldt@ ...> wrote:
>
> Norma,
> I wish you a lot of luck. Your road ahead won't be easy but it will be healthier and saner.
> Big hugs,
> Sheila
>
>
>
>
> ____________ _________ _________ __
> From: Norma . Walczak <izzscruff2@ ...>
> To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com<mailto:afterwei ght losssurgery% 40yahoogroups. com>
> Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 7:15:18 PM
> Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help! !
>
>
>
>
>
> I have not had a chance to reply till now. Don't want my husband around while I am writings. I did not know that he had a drinking problem before we were married and it did not come out for the first few years, but after the surgery, the demon came out. He drinks every night, and I have learned to stay away from him even if it means to go to bed early. He is verbally abusive and even throws things and bangs doors. He has not touched me in over 2 years. My self esteem is rock bottom, but then I look at guys that I work with or have to interact with that try to talk to me and tell me that I am pretty. I have talked with our pastor who already knew we were at the end. She has tried to talk to us and every time he sits and cries like a baby which is his self defense to get the problem off of him. She caught on quickly to that stupid action. We no longer talk, he sits and smokes his cigarettes, drinks coffee in the morning then comes the booze. He has gained
> 120# and tells everyone why he is fat is that I force him to eat. Yes I cook meals, but he would rather have ice cream sundae, bananna splits, baked goods or greasy hamburgers that he gets while at work.
>
> Ok enough ranting. I guess that our marriage was never as strong as I thought it was, no one's fault, but know that I am not happy and need to get out soon for my own sanity.
>
> Norma
> --- On Wed, 6/17/09, goldengyrl_4life <goldengyrl_ 4life@ yahoo.com> wrote:
>
> From: goldengyrl_4life <goldengyrl_ 4life@ yahoo.com>
> Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help! !
> To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
> Date: Wednesday, June 17, 2009, 5:56 AM
>
> --- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com, "Victoria" <afterwls@ .> wrote:
> >
> > in my experience, I became a 'born again healthy person'. My ex-spouse was not interested in exercising, or losing any weight. He wanted the status quo to remain the same, that is, a nice 'safe' wife who didn't rock the lifestyle boat. When I lost weight and started dressing in a stylish, if not sexy manner, he protested by being verbally abusive and avoiding me, when he wasn't trying to sabotage my diet. He started drinking more (he already had a drinking problem). In short, he couldn't deal with the new me, and we grew apart, and finally, I gave up and left (but not until after 24 marriage counselling sessions).
> >
> > -Vic
> > group founder
> >
> > --- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com, "Pearson, John" <john.pearson@ > wrote:
> > >
> > > I am having issues in my marriage as well. My wife had the surgery in July of last year.
> > > Could you elaborate on "putting a strain on my marriage" what problems are you having if I'm not getting to personal.
> > >
> > > John Pearson
> >
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Messages in this topic (72)
________________________________________________________________________
2.8. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
Posted by: "Brenda" brendac313@yahoo.com brendac313
Date: Fri Jun 19, 2009 9:27 am ((PDT))

Have you talked to her about that? Maybe you can suggest staying in one night and being close and snuggly, watching a movie, or something along those lines.

________________________________
From: "Pearson, John" <john.pearson@hp.com>
To: "afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com" <afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com>
Sent: Friday, June 19, 2009 11:06:25 AM
Subject: RE: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old habits...help!!

John Pearson

____________ _________ _________ __
From: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com [mailto:afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com] On Behalf Of Sheila Derrwaldt
Sent: Friday, June 19, 2009 6:40 AM
To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old habits...help! !

John,
Why wouldn't you want to go too? Go enjoy life too!
Sheila

____________ _________ _________ __
From: "Pearson, John" <john.pearson@ hp.com<mailto:john. pearson%40hp. com>>
To: "afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com<mailto:afterweight losssurgery% 40yahoogroups. com>" <afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com<mailto:afterweight losssurgery% 40yahoogroups. com>>
Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 11:41:31 AM
Subject: RE: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old habits...help! !

Thanks Brenda I know this it's just putting it into action that's the hard part.
Am I to let her go out by herself if I don't want to go?

John Pearson
Inventory Analyst
Cell: 281-799-9118
Office @ Exel: 713-934-1536

____________ _________ _________ __
From: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com [mailto:afterweight losssurg ery@yahoogroups. com] On Behalf Of Brenda
Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 10:20 AM
To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old habits...help! !

Don't be more dead weight...that' s a good start. Your wife is excited and found a new life that she hasn't had in years, if she ever did. Everything is new and exciting and you have a chance to see things through her eyes. Be happy for her, listen to her, and go places with her. She may want to try new things, old things she couldn't do before...but just be there. Fellas are going to look no matter what age, size, or body style any of us have, they just make more noise about it when your skinny...that' s all it is. Let them look, I look, none of us are dead yet...it's when it's touching it crosses a line. It's a new toy and it's Christmas time...enjoy. Things will calm down....help her think of things to do if she is active. Look, if someone is going to cheat, they are going to cheat and there is nothing anybody can do about it, but no sense driving anybody to it by being jealous and over-protective. Hanging on too tight just strangles. Let her
know your there, have fun, maybe the two of you plan something together to celebrate.

brenda

____________ _________ _________ __
From: "Pearson, John" <john.pearson@ hp.com<mailto: john. pearson%40hp. com>>
To: "afterweightlosssur g ery@yahoogroups. com<mailto:afterwei ght losssurgery% 40yahoogroups. com>" <afterweightlosssur g ery@yahoogroups. com<mailto:afterwei ght losssurgery% 40yahoogroups. com>>
Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 8:13:39 AM
Subject: RE: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old habits...help! !

Norma,

John Pearson
Inventory Analyst
Cell: 281-799-9118
Office @ Exel: 713-934-1536

--- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com<mailto:afterwei ght losssurgery% 40yahoogroups. com>, Sheila Derrwaldt <sderrwaldt@ ...> wrote:
>
> Norma,
> I wish you a lot of luck. Your road ahead won't be easy but it will be healthier and saner.
> Big hugs,
> Sheila
>
>
>
>
> ____________ _________ _________ __
> From: Norma . Walczak <izzscruff2@ ...>
> To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com<mailto:afterwei ght losssurgery% 40yahoogroups. com>
> Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 7:15:18 PM
> Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help! !
>
>
>
>
>
> I have not had a chance to reply till now. Don't want my husband around while I am writings. I did not know that he had a drinking problem before we were married and it did not come out for the first few years, but after the surgery, the demon came out. He drinks every night, and I have learned to stay away from him even if it means to go to bed early. He is verbally abusive and even throws things and bangs doors. He has not touched me in over 2 years. My self esteem is rock bottom, but then I look at guys that I work with or have to interact with that try to talk to me and tell me that I am pretty. I have talked with our pastor who already knew we were at the end. She has tried to talk to us and every time he sits and cries like a baby which is his self defense to get the problem off of him. She caught on quickly to that stupid action. We no longer talk, he sits and smokes his cigarettes, drinks coffee in the morning then comes the booze. He has gained
> 120# and tells everyone why he is fat is that I force him to eat. Yes I cook meals, but he would rather have ice cream sundae, bananna splits, baked goods or greasy hamburgers that he gets while at work.
>
> Ok enough ranting. I guess that our marriage was never as strong as I thought it was, no one's fault, but know that I am not happy and need to get out soon for my own sanity.
>
> Norma
> --- On Wed, 6/17/09, goldengyrl_4life <goldengyrl_ 4life@ yahoo.com> wrote:
>
> From: goldengyrl_4life <goldengyrl_ 4life@ yahoo.com>
> Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help! !
> To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
> Date: Wednesday, June 17, 2009, 5:56 AM
>
> --- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com, "Victoria" <afterwls@ .> wrote:
> >
> > in my experience, I became a 'born again healthy person'. My ex-spouse was not interested in exercising, or losing any weight. He wanted the status quo to remain the same, that is, a nice 'safe' wife who didn't rock the lifestyle boat. When I lost weight and started dressing in a stylish, if not sexy manner, he protested by being verbally abusive and avoiding me, when he wasn't trying to sabotage my diet. He started drinking more (he already had a drinking problem). In short, he couldn't deal with the new me, and we grew apart, and finally, I gave up and left (but not until after 24 marriage counselling sessions).
> >
> > -Vic
> > group founder
> >
> > --- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com, "Pearson, John" <john.pearson@ > wrote:
> > >
> > > I am having issues in my marriage as well. My wife had the surgery in July of last year.
> > > Could you elaborate on "putting a strain on my marriage" what problems are you having if I'm not getting to personal.
> > >
> > > John Pearson
> >
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Messages in this topic (72)
________________________________________________________________________
2.9. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
Posted by: "Valana Darrell" msvalentine217@yahoo.com msvalentine217
Date: Fri Jun 19, 2009 9:43 am ((PDT))

Hi,
I know I have not offered my advice for sometime now, but I felt inclined to share. I had WLS in May of 2006. Before Surgery I was 324, Now I'm 178, and the doctors state that I should be at 164. (324/164/178) When I first started out, my days were filled with nothing but protein shakes, crystal light, and water. That was for the first 3 weeks after surgery.

However now, I have to admit I have revisited my friend diet pepsi. I too just loved my diet soda. Although, I have noticed that it takes me a whole day to get down 12oz of diet soda, but I'm happy to still enjoy the taste. I have noticed however, that the days that I do decide to drink soda, it appears that my stomach is my worst enemy. My stomach tends to reject everything that I eat that day. So I limit the diet soda thing to 2x a week. There are some foods that I just loved to eat; like eggs, coffee, french fries, hamburgers, and fried chicken that I just CAN NOT do anymore. No matter how many times I try to give those foods a chance, I pay the piper. It's just not worth it. Although, there are some days that I can actually stomach coffee.

I have found that right after surgery drinking crystal light was tolerable. However, now I find that everytime I decide to drink it, it sends me running to the bathroom. I noticed the same thing happens whenever I eat those 100 calorie snacks. So I haven't figured out that one yet. Neither of those things are high in fat or sugar, so who knows.

Anyway, things will get easier for you, just give it time. This is all a new way of learning how to eat, what you like to eat, and what you can tolerate to eat. Believe me, the foods that you used to love to eat, that you find you can no longer tolerate to eat, won't even be an issue for you. You will notice that it won't even bother you that you can no longer eat them. You will find replacements for them. For example, instead of my daily candy bar that I used to eat around 3pm, I now exchanged that for a cup of fruit. And I'm satisfied and content with that.

Hope things get better.

Valana

--- On Fri, 6/19/09, Cheeks7514@aol.com <Cheeks7514@aol.com> wrote:

From: Cheeks7514@aol.com <Cheeks7514@aol.com>
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help!!
To: afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com
Date: Friday, June 19, 2009, 5:52 AM

In a message dated 6/19/2009 7:48:46 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time,
sderrwaldt@yahoo. com writes:

Judy,
You have to eat very slowly at first and very very little. I don't recall
the schedule of what I could eat at 10 days out, but I don't think I was up
to protein shakes at that point. Didn't your doctor's office give you a
very tight schedule of what to eat, when and how much? Find out.
Good luck!
Sheila

____________ _________ _________ __
From: "_Cheeks7514@ aol.Che_ (mailto:Cheeks7514@aol. com) "
<_Cheeks7514@ aol.Che_ (mailto:Cheeks7514@aol. com) >
To: _afterweightlosssur gafterweightloss saft_
(mailto:afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com)
Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 12:53:48 PM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old
habits...help! S

In a message dated 6/18/2009 8:11:28 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time,
sderrwaldt@yahoo. com writes:

No, I don't get more attention from guys! I'm 57!!! No one looks at
middle-aged women. :) But, I notice that people don't notice me like they
did
when I was heavy. I just fit in better every place, and feel so much
healthier
and shopping is a lot easier. I would say more confidence because of less
shame.

____________ _________ _________ __
From: "Pearson, John" <_john.pearson@ john.p_ (mailto:john. _john.pearson@
jo>
To: "_afterweightlosssu rgafterweightlos ssaft_
(mailto:afterweight (mailto:afterwei ghtlosssurg ery@<_afterweightlo sssu
rgafterweightlos ssaft_
(mailto:afterweight (mailto:afterwei ghtlosssur>
Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 4:40:20 PM
Subject: RE: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old
habits...help! S

John Pearson

Hi Karen,
I agree 100% and I think the doctors and pre-surgerical psychologist told
us the same thing. It's very true. I'd like to add that if a large part of

Hello,

I have been married for 15 years, together for 18 years. We are still
going like we always have. He is concerned about my weight because I have
gained so much back, but, other than that there is no real problems. I
will tell
you what my surgeon told us at the meeting. If you have a good marriage it
can get better, if you have a bad marriage it will probably get worse. If
you figure some men think of a fat spouse as SAFE then you understand.
Also
the new attention from other men or women can make the current partner
feel very insecure and it is hard sometimes to make them understand that
it is
just what it is and if you are truly happy then it will not hurt the
relationship.

Karen Cortez

Is there anyone out there that has had success with staying married and
improving their marriage after surgery? I have just been approved for
surgery
and will be celebrating my 1st anniversary this weekend. All this talk is
very discouraging to me! I would rather be overweight with the love of my
life because we are very happy than to be at a much lower weight and be
miserable. I am very healthy other than my weight so I guess I am on the
fence
right now!

Gosh, that sounds so much like what I am going through right now. It just
makes me want to cry. I told my husband when I got the surgery (and I
truly
meant it) that we were not going to be among the stastitics.

But I just can't take much more.

Janet

in my experience, I became a 'born again healthy person'. My ex-spouse was
not interested in exercising, or losing any weight. He wanted the status
quo to remain the same, that is, a nice 'safe' wife who didn't rock the
lifestyle boat. When I lost weight and started dressing in a stylish, if
not
sexy manner, he protested by being verbally abusive and avoiding me, when
he
wasn't trying to sabotage my diet. He started drinking more (he already
had
a drinking problem). In short, he couldn't deal with the new me, and we
grew apart, and finally, I gave up and left (but not until after 24
marriage
counselling sessions).

-Vic
group founder

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Messages in this topic (72)
________________________________________________________________________
2.10. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
Posted by: "Valana Darrell" msvalentine217@yahoo.com msvalentine217
Date: Fri Jun 19, 2009 9:52 am ((PDT))

Judy:

Personally, I was instructed by my doctor when I first got of surgery to just stick to the protein shakes and water. It may be what you are mixing with your protein shakes. If your using the nonfat milk, you may want to switch to just water the protein powder, and ice. Keep it as simple as possible if your getting cramps like that. It could also be what fruits your adding to your shakes too. At first I started just drinking those bullet protein drinks and Isopure until I felt up to adding the fruit to my drinks. Then I switched to using Whey Protein powder and adding either a 1/2 banana or some strawberries to my drink. They also have these sugar free syrups that just taste wonderful in the protein shakes, I have the Bravian Chocolate and Hazelnut.

I can no longer tolerate milk, so I use water in my shakes. You could also use crystal light if you want, but for me I can not tolerate crystal light so I just stick to the water.

You do want to talk to your doctor however because you want to start getting that daily protein requirement into your body. The very minimal that you have to get in is 50g. So let your doctor know what's going on.

Hope I was able to help
Valana

--- On Fri, 6/19/09, Sheila Derrwaldt <sderrwaldt@yahoo.com> wrote:

From: Sheila Derrwaldt <sderrwaldt@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help!!
To: afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com
Date: Friday, June 19, 2009, 4:42 AM

____________ _________ _________ __
From: "Cheeks7514@aol. com" <Cheeks7514@aol. com>
To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 12:53:48 PM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help! !

In a message dated 6/18/2009 8:11:28 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time,
sderrwaldt@yahoo. com writes:

____________ _________ _________ __
From: "Pearson, John" <_john.pearson@ john.p_ (mailto:john. pearson@ hp.com) >
To: "_afterweightlosssu rgafterweightlos ssaft_
(mailto:afterweight losssurg ery@yahoogroups. com) " <_afterweightlosssu rgafterweightlos ssaft_
(mailto:afterweight losssurg ery@yahoogroups. com) >
Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 4:40:20 PM
Subject: RE: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old
habits...help! S

John Pearson

Hello,

Karen Cortez

But I just can't take much more.

Janet

-Vic
group founder

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

************ **Download the AOL Classifieds Toolbar for local deals at your
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(http://toolbar. aol.com/aolclass ifieds/download. html?ncid= emlcntusdown0000 0004)

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Messages in this topic (72)
________________________________________________________________________
2.11. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
Posted by: "Pearson, John" john.pearson@hp.com jp_unwinders
Date: Fri Jun 19, 2009 10:04 am ((PDT))

50g a day?

John Pearson

________________________________
From: afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com [mailto:afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com] On Behalf Of Valana Darrell
Sent: Friday, June 19, 2009 11:52 AM
To: afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help!!

Judy:

Personally, I was instructed by my doctor when I first got of surgery to just stick to the protein shakes and water. It may be what you are mixing with your protein shakes. If your using the nonfat milk, you may want to switch to just water the protein powder, and ice. Keep it as simple as possible if your getting cramps like that. It could also be what fruits your adding to your shakes too. At first I started just drinking those bullet protein drinks and Isopure until I felt up to adding the fruit to my drinks. Then I switched to using Whey Protein powder and adding either a 1/2 banana or some strawberries to my drink. They also have these sugar free syrups that just taste wonderful in the protein shakes, I have the Bravian Chocolate and Hazelnut.

I can no longer tolerate milk, so I use water in my shakes. You could also use crystal light if you want, but for me I can not tolerate crystal light so I just stick to the water.

You do want to talk to your doctor however because you want to start getting that daily protein requirement into your body. The very minimal that you have to get in is 50g. So let your doctor know what's going on.

Hope I was able to help
Valana

--- On Fri, 6/19/09, Sheila Derrwaldt <sderrwaldt@yahoo.com<mailto:sderrwaldt%40yahoo.com>> wrote:

From: Sheila Derrwaldt <sderrwaldt@yahoo.com<mailto:sderrwaldt%40yahoo.com>>
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help!!
To: afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com<mailto:afterweightlosssurgery%40yahoogroups.com>
Date: Friday, June 19, 2009, 4:42 AM

____________ _________ _________ __
From: "Cheeks7514@aol. com" <Cheeks7514@aol. com>
To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 12:53:48 PM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help! !

In a message dated 6/18/2009 8:11:28 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time,
sderrwaldt@yahoo. com writes:

____________ _________ _________ __
From: "Pearson, John" <_john.pearson@ john.p_ (mailto:john. pearson@ hp.com) >
To: "_afterweightlosssu rgafterweightlos ssaft_
(mailto:afterweight losssurg ery@yahoogroups. com) " <_afterweightlosssu rgafterweightlos ssaft_
(mailto:afterweight losssurg ery@yahoogroups. com) >
Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 4:40:20 PM
Subject: RE: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old
habits...help! S

John Pearson

Hello,

Karen Cortez

But I just can't take much more.

Janet

-Vic
group founder

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

************ **Download the AOL Classifieds Toolbar for local deals at your
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Messages in this topic (72)
________________________________________________________________________
2.12. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
Posted by: "TheAgora81@aol.com" TheAgora81@aol.com theagora81
Date: Fri Jun 19, 2009 10:24 am ((PDT))

Yes, this is my exact diet too. 64 oz liquid and 50 g of protein. I need to
go back onto this diet because my weight is gaining or standing still. At
193 that is way too high for me to stop loosing weight. For the last two days
I have been drinking a lot of sf drink and eating just tender chicken
breast and beans for dinner with one boiled egg for the morning. All the rest
drinks. I got in an hour and a half of bike riding last night and the night
before an hour of bike riding.
HELP, any more suggestions?
I am at a stand still? Has very many of you had a lot of stand stills?
peace lee

Shelia
Yes the doctor/center gave me a very strict list. They started me
and everyone on protein shakes on day 3. I can "eat" nothing. Just liquids.
Protein shakes (4oz.) 6 times a day. Crystal light, no soda, etc.
Minimum of 60g. protein per day and minimum of 64 oz total of fluid per
day. To
be honest giving up my Diet Coke was hard, hard, hard. I used to love to
start my day with decaff coffee and end with hot tea, now, I can't stand
both. I hope that will change over time but if not....oh well. We had to
take
6 months of classes etc. Due to the other health risks I did 6 months of
education in just 1. I threatened to change my address to Geisinger
Medical Center. hahahaha. Insurance was a pain but finally they saw the
light
when my doctor told them it was either bypass surgery or TPN........they
were very fast to approve things after that. (I guess money does talk).
Judy
PRAISE God for the Roses. THANK God for the thorns.

**************Dell Inspiron 15: Now starting at $349
(http://pr.atwola.com/promoclk/100126575x1222435718x1201460505/aol?redir=http:%2F%2Fad.doubleclick.
net%2Fclk%3B215748553%3B38126199%3Bs)

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Messages in this topic (72)
________________________________________________________________________
2.13. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
Posted by: "Kelly" kdies@verizon.net kellone2
Date: Fri Jun 19, 2009 10:51 am ((PDT))

It is very frustrating Lee. I had my surgery 4/9/08, So i am almost 15 months out. I lost the bulk of my weight the first 7 months and have lost NOTHING else. i was down 117lbs. I gained back 12 lbs because of quitting smoking. I need to get back on track. It's so easy to loose yourself, and I fear getting back into that rut. I need some mind determination and some dicipline again

Kelly

----- Original Message -----
From: TheAgora81@aol.com
To: afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Friday, June 19, 2009 1:24 PM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help!!

Shelia
Yes the doctor/center gave me a very strict list. They started me
and everyone on protein shakes on day 3. I can "eat" nothing. Just liquids.
Protein shakes (4oz.) 6 times a day. Crystal light, no soda, etc.
Minimum of 60g. protein per day and minimum of 64 oz total of fluid per
day. To
be honest giving up my Diet Coke was hard, hard, hard. I used to love to
start my day with decaff coffee and end with hot tea, now, I can't stand
both. I hope that will change over time but if not....oh well. We had to
take
6 months of classes etc. Due to the other health risks I did 6 months of
education in just 1. I threatened to change my address to Geisinger
Medical Center. hahahaha. Insurance was a pain but finally they saw the
light
when my doctor told them it was either bypass surgery or TPN........they
were very fast to approve things after that. (I guess money does talk).
Judy
PRAISE God for the Roses. THANK God for the thorns.

**************Dell Inspiron 15: Now starting at $349
(http://pr.atwola.com/promoclk/100126575x1222435718x1201460505/aol?redir=http:%2F%2Fad.doubleclick.
net%2Fclk%3B215748553%3B38126199%3Bs)

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Messages in this topic (72)
________________________________________________________________________
2.14. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
Posted by: "TheAgora81@aol.com" TheAgora81@aol.com theagora81
Date: Fri Jun 19, 2009 11:07 am ((PDT))

Kelly
At a year out and down 117lbs you did yourself a lot of good! And gaining
only 12 lbs is manageable to get back down. I have been eating so very little
that I would think my body would just drop the weight and say "you win."
But my body is so hard to give up the pounds and its been like this since
puberty. I admit I am addicted to loose clothing now and billowing shirts! How
nice! But I haven't dropped anything in more than 9 days, not even a half
pound and its been gaining instead on what I do not know?
How frustrating when this surgery is supposed to work very well the first 6
months. I am running out of time. Why am I gaining? Is my honeymoon over?
It has upset me since the start of it 9 days ago. I keep waiting and waiting
for it to start loosing again, but it gains another darned pound every other
day or stays still at the higher weight.

How many stand stills can you go through in 6 to 9 months in the beginning?

peace, lee

It is very frustrating Lee. I had my surgery 4/9/08, So i am almost 15
months out. I lost the bulk of my weight the first 7 months and have lost
NOTHING else. i was down 117lbs. I gained back 12 lbs because of quitting smoking.
I need to get back on track. It's so easy to loose yourself, and I fear
getting back into that rut. I need some mind determination and some dicipline
again

Kelly

----- Original Message -----
From: _TheAgora81@aol.The_ (mailto:TheAgora81@aol.com)
To: _afterweightlosssurgafterweightlosssaft_
(mailto:afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com)
Sent: Friday, June 19, 2009 1:24 PM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old
habits...help!S

Yes, this is my exact diet too. 64 oz liquid and 50 g of protein. I need to
go back onto this diet because my weight is gaining or standing still. At
193 that is way too high for me to stop loosing weight. For the last two
days
I have been drinking a lot of sf drink and eating just tender chicken
breast and beans for dinner with one boiled egg for the morning. All the
rest
drinks. I got in an hour and a half of bike riding last night and the night
before an hour of bike riding.
HELP, any more suggestions?
I am at a stand still? Has very many of you had a lot of stand stills?
peace lee

Shelia
Yes the doctor/center gave me a very strict list. They started me
and everyone on protein shakes on day 3. I can "eat" nothing. Just liquids.
Protein shakes (4oz.) 6 times a day. Crystal light, no soda, etc.
Minimum of 60g. protein per day and minimum of 64 oz total of fluid per
day. To
be honest giving up my Diet Coke was hard, hard, hard. I used to love to
start my day with decaff coffee and end with hot tea, now, I can't stand
both. I hope that will change over time but if not....oh well. We had to
take
6 months of classes etc. Due to the other health risks I did 6 months of
education in just 1. I threatened to change my address to Geisinger
Medical Center. hahahaha. Insurance was a pain but finally they saw the
light
when my doctor told them it was either bypass surgery or TPN........they
were very fast to approve things after that. (I guess money does talk).
Judy
PRAISE God for the Roses. THANK God for the thorns.

**************Dell Inspiron 15: Now starting at $349
(http://pr.atwola.com/promoclk/100126575x1222435718x1201460505/aol?redir=http:%2F%2Fad.doubleclick.
net%2Fclk%3B215748553%3B38126199%3Bs)

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Messages in this topic (72)
________________________________________________________________________
2.15. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
Posted by: "Josie Chapaconner" edenscage@yahoo.com edenscage
Date: Fri Jun 19, 2009 11:11 am ((PDT))

I am so sorry Norma it does not sound like and easy situation. You know as well as I do threw Christ all things are possible. Have faith and get the Devil out of your house claim your home Christ's home and get the Devil OUT! Sounds like you need some prayer. I will pray that your house is A house of God and that the Devils Temptation and bondage will be gone forever and will be dismissed in Jesus Christ mighty name Amen.

Love Josie

________________________________
From: Norma . Walczak <izzscruff2@yahoo.com>
To: afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 4:15:18 PM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help!!

I have not had a chance to reply till now. Don't want my husband around while I am writings. I did not know that he had a drinking problem before we were married and it did not come out for the first few years, but after the surgery, the demon came out. He drinks every night, and I have learned to stay away from him even if it means to go to bed early. He is verbally abusive and even throws things and bangs doors. He has not touched me in over 2 years. My self esteem is rock bottom, but then I look at guys that I work with or have to interact with that try to talk to me and tell me that I am pretty. I have talked with our pastor who already knew we were at the end. She has tried to talk to us and every time he sits and cries like a baby which is his self defense to get the problem off of him. She caught on quickly to that stupid action. We no longer talk, he sits and smokes his cigarettes, drinks coffee in the morning then comes the booze. He has gained
120# and tells everyone why he is fat is that I force him to eat. Yes I cook meals, but he would rather have ice cream sundae, bananna splits, baked goods or greasy hamburgers that he gets while at work.

Ok enough ranting. I guess that our marriage was never as strong as I thought it was, no one's fault, but know that I am not happy and need to get out soon for my own sanity.

Norma
--- On Wed, 6/17/09, goldengyrl_4life <goldengyrl_4life@ yahoo.com> wrote:

From: goldengyrl_4life <goldengyrl_4life@ yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help! !
To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
Date: Wednesday, June 17, 2009, 5:56 AM

--- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com, "Victoria" <afterwls@.. .> wrote:
>
> in my experience, I became a 'born again healthy person'. My ex-spouse was not interested in exercising, or losing any weight. He wanted the status quo to remain the same, that is, a nice 'safe' wife who didn't rock the lifestyle boat. When I lost weight and started dressing in a stylish, if not sexy manner, he protested by being verbally abusive and avoiding me, when he wasn't trying to sabotage my diet. He started drinking more (he already had a drinking problem). In short, he couldn't deal with the new me, and we grew apart, and finally, I gave up and left (but not until after 24 marriage counselling sessions).
>
> -Vic
> group founder
>
> --- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com, "Pearson, John" <john.pearson@ > wrote:
> >
> > I am having issues in my marriage as well. My wife had the surgery in July of last year.
> > Could you elaborate on "putting a strain on my marriage" what problems are you having if I'm not getting to personal.
> >
> > John Pearson
>

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Messages in this topic (72)
________________________________________________________________________
2.16. Re: falling back into old habits...help!!
Posted by: "Dorothy M. Rosa Durkee" branta@cebridge.net branta_canadensis
Date: Fri Jun 19, 2009 11:38 am ((PDT))

>I am at a stand still? Has very many of you had a lot of stand stills?

Yup. I'm stuck at 186 (down from 287, six-seven months post-op). The
only difference is that now that I can eat more, my eating is less
disciplined and I'm not drinking enough water. I need to get back on
track - and by the grace of God, I will do what I can to get there.

Dorothy D.

Messages in this topic (72)
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
3a. Re: Insurance Approval
Posted by: "Sheila Derrwaldt" sderrwaldt@yahoo.com sderrwaldt
Date: Fri Jun 19, 2009 4:33 am ((PDT))

Hi Le,
If you have that many co-morbidity issues you should be able to get insurance approval fairly quickly. How old are you? That plays a part sometimes. Why not call your insurance company directly? Find out what they are looking for, find someone who is on your side throughout the approval process. I got very quick approval since I had my then current PCP and former one send in letters. My only other issue was Diabetes Type 2 but no other problems.
I wish you lots of luck!
Sheila

________________________________
From: Le <sugarnspice0001@yahoo.com>
To: afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 1:47:29 PM
Subject: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Insurance Approval

Hi,

I have been lurking for a few weeks while in the process of seeing my doctor to document weight loss or lack of. I was wondering how long it took for you all to get insurance approval? I have co-morbidity issues (need both knees and hips replaced, high bp, high cholesterol, etc.) and still have to be seen for six months by my family physician.

At the first seminar I attended, the assistant said I could be seen in a month, but then changed her story when I took the paperwork to my doctor. I am so frustrated and in a lot of pain. I truly feel this would help me so much. I have never been thin and I know the weight contributes to much of my problem. On top of this, it is quite possible I may be laid off due to budget-cutbacks from this new administration (a WHOLE 'nuther topic!).

I was just wondering what you all had to go through for your insurance to approve. Also, FYI - I am in Alabama.

Thanks!
Le

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Messages in this topic (8)
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
4a. Re: Norma
Posted by: "Sheila Derrwaldt" sderrwaldt@yahoo.com sderrwaldt
Date: Fri Jun 19, 2009 4:39 am ((PDT))

I agree with Kelly. If any spouse is unhelpful or tries to undermine one's weight loss efforts, then they do not love you as much as they love themselves and are worried about their own issues first. I don't care if they call it insecurity, it's still selfish. Take care of yourself and get healthy, then you'll see if your relationship is meant to survive. Any relationship built on insecurities and over indulging, is not necessarily going to survive one partner changing for the better (healthier). Put it this way, if the shoe were on the other foot, wouldn't you be lovingly supportive of your spouse getting well? Why shouldn't anyone expect that?
Sheila

________________________________
From: Kelly <kdies@verizon.net>
To: afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 10:27:31 AM
Subject: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Norma

Not saying that you should do this, but I think for the sake of yourself ---> you need to focus on yourself for once. If that means removing yourself from your current situation, then so be it. You should have someone that is supportive, proud of you, Someone who compliments everything about you, that's there for you. You shouldn't have to live with someone so negative, jealous or damaging to your mental and physical health. This is your choice. I hate to see you so unhappy with everything.
Now, for the compliments at work and the other guys? Suck it up, and be happy with it ;) Take all the compliments you can get ;)
YOU DESERVE THEM!

Kelly

----- Original Message -----
From: Norma . Walczak
To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 7:15 PM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old habits...help! !

Ok enough ranting. I guess that our marriage was never as strong as I thought it was, no one's fault, but know that I am not happy and need to get out soon for my own sanity.

Norma
--- On Wed, 6/17/09, goldengyrl_4life <goldengyrl_4life@ yahoo.com> wrote:

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Messages in this topic (2)
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
5.1. Re: falling back intooldhabits...help!!
Posted by: "Sheila Derrwaldt" sderrwaldt@yahoo.com sderrwaldt
Date: Fri Jun 19, 2009 4:46 am ((PDT))

My son was in the Army for over 5 yrs and had 2 very long deployments to Iraq. Where in Iraq is your husband? I wish him lots of luck and send him lots of love from a grateful nation. Also, you can get flat rate priority mail boxes at the PO and send him lots of stuff, cheaply. I sent my son a box every week and all the guys loved it!
Good luck Kelly!!!
Sheila

________________________________
From: Kelly <kdies@verizon.net>
To: After WLS <afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com>
Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 4:24:31 PM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back intooldhabits...help!!

He's army national guard. Some call that a "weekend warrior" but they all protect the same regardless. Right?
Oh, you'll feel a lot of feelings after your surgery. Good, bad! You'll experience a lot.
Kelly
Sent from her BlackBerry

-----Original Message-----
From: "Brenda S." <cherokee_bren_324@yahoo.com>

Date: Thu, 18 Jun 2009 13:12:24
To: <afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com>
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into
oldhabits...help!!

I cant wait for that feeling! My own surgery was just approved and am having surgery on July 29th. What branch of service is your husband in? My husband is a Marine veteran but that old saying "once a Marine always a Marine" is so true. I will keep him in my prayers that he is safe through this deployment!

________________________________
From: Kelly <kdies@verizon.net>
To: After WLS <afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com>
Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 3:58:35 PM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into oldhabits...help!!

Thanks Brenda! Maybe we'll actually match as a couple now! He weighs 130lbs soaking wet hahaha. I'll feel more secure around him. I can't wait ;)
~Kel
Sent from her BlackBerry

-----Original Message-----
From: "Brenda S." <cherokee_bren_324@yahoo.com>

Date: Thu, 18 Jun 2009 12:52:16
To: <afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com>
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old
habits...help!!

He will have a brand new wife when he returns Kelly! You have done an amazing job, keep up the good work!

________________________________
From: Kelly <kdies@verizon.net>
To: afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 11:58:39 AM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old habits...help!!

I do have to say that my husband was all for my surgery. Of course he saw
things that would benefit him in the long run... lol (if you know what I
mean).
I am so happy to have his support and understanding. I cant wait til he gets
home from this deployment to see me! I was only 5 months post op when he
left for deployment. Now I am 14 months post op and 117lbs lighter ;)

Kelly

----- Original Message -----
From: "kelli hodges" <keldred24@hotmail. com>
To: <afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com>
Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 10:14 AM
Subject: RE: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old
habits...help! !

i understand.. .my husband did not want me to have the surgery either.
luckily he is ok with it now but he is not happy that i have lost 80
lbs...but i am happy. so i think he is ok with it now. my mother says that
he liked me heavy because he didnt have to worry that someone else would
want me...she thinks its insecurity also. i think my marriage is fine but
who really knows my mother was married for 25yrs before her divorce and she
didnt have wls...i figure if he cant love me smaller than he never loved me
at all.

kelli

To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
From: goldengyrl_4life@ yahoo.com
Date: Thu, 18 Jun 2009 12:38:46 +0000
Subject: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old
habits...help! !

I realized this morning that my post never showed so I am trying it again. I
will be the first to admit that my marriage might not have been as strong as
I thought it was but I never thought WLS would have been the reason for my
divorce. My ex has adamently stated that after WLS he was no longer
attracted to me. Now I realize that it was out of insecurity on his part. I
never had his support during the pre-op procedures, therapy etc. He was so
adament he didnt want me to have surgery. I remember coming out of surgery
and getting back to my room and he was no where to be found for the next 4
hours. I eventually had to realize that I had to do this for me and me
alone. I am very proud of the strides I have made but I am thankful to be
rid of the 225 lb weight that would have loved for me to remaine 400lbs. I
wish everyone much success and my prayers as this journey seems to
continue.... .on and on....Enjoy the ride.

--- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com, Sheila Derrwaldt
<sderrwaldt@ ...> wrote:
>
> Norma,
> I wish you a lot of luck. Your road ahead won't be easy but it will be
> healthier and saner.
> Big hugs,
> Sheila
>
>
>
>
>________________________________
> From: Norma . Walczak <izzscruff2@ ...>
> To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
> Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 7:15:18 PM
> Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old
> habits...help! !
>
>
>
>
>
> I have not had a chance to reply till now. Don't want my husband around
> while I am writings. I did not know that he had a drinking problem before
> we were married and it did not come out for the first few years, but after
> the surgery, the demon came out. He drinks every night, and I have learned
> to stay away from him even if it means to go to bed early. He is verbally
> abusive and even throws things and bangs doors. He has not touched me in
> over 2 years. My self esteem is rock bottom, but then I look at guys that
> I work with or have to interact with that try to talk to me and tell me
> that I am pretty. I have talked with our pastor who already knew we were
> at the end. She has tried to talk to us and every time he sits and cries
> like a baby which is his self defense to get the problem off of him. She
> caught on quickly to that stupid action. We no longer talk, he sits and
> smokes his cigarettes, drinks coffee in the morning then comes the booze.
> He has gained
> 120# and tells everyone why he is fat is that I force him to eat. Yes I
> cook meals, but he would rather have ice cream sundae, bananna splits,
> baked goods or greasy hamburgers that he gets while at work.
>
> Ok enough ranting. I guess that our marriage was never as strong as I
> thought it was, no one's fault, but know that I am not happy and need to
> get out soon for my own sanity.
>
> Norma
> --- On Wed, 6/17/09, goldengyrl_4life <goldengyrl_ 4life@ yahoo.com> wrote:
>
> From: goldengyrl_4life <goldengyrl_ 4life@ yahoo.com>
> Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old
> habits...help! !
> To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
> Date: Wednesday, June 17, 2009, 5:56 AM
>
> --- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com, "Victoria" <afterwls@ .>
> wrote:
> >
> > in my experience, I became a 'born again healthy person'. My ex-spouse
> > was not interested in exercising, or losing any weight. He wanted the
> > status quo to remain the same, that is, a nice 'safe' wife who didn't
> > rock the lifestyle boat. When I lost weight and started dressing in a
> > stylish, if not sexy manner, he protested by being verbally abusive and
> > avoiding me, when he wasn't trying to sabotage my diet. He started
> > drinking more (he already had a drinking problem). In short, he couldn't
> > deal with the new me, and we grew apart, and finally, I gave up and left
> > (but not until after 24 marriage counselling sessions).
> >
> > -Vic
> > group founder
> >
> > --- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com, "Pearson, John"
> > <john.pearson@ > wrote:
> > >
> > > I am having issues in my marriage as well. My wife had the surgery in
> > > July of last year.
> > > Could you elaborate on "putting a strain on my marriage" what problems
> > > are you having if I'm not getting to personal.
> > >
> > > John Pearson
> >
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

__________________________________________________________
Hotmail® has ever-growing storage! Don't worry about storage limits.
http://windowslive. com/Tutorial/ Hotmail/Storage? ocid=TXT_ TAGLM_WL_ HM_Tutorial_ Storage_062009

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Messages in this topic (72)
________________________________________________________________________
5.2. Re: falling back intooldhabits...help!!
Posted by: "Kelly" kdies@verizon.net kellone2
Date: Fri Jun 19, 2009 8:27 am ((PDT))

He's in Taji. This is his second tour. The last one was 18 months long 2004/2005 this one is exactly a year 2008/2009
I use the flat rate shipping boxes to send to him every other week. He loves it. I'll just be glad when it is OVER.... September cant come soon enough ;)

Is your son out of it now?

kelly

----- Original Message -----
From: Sheila Derrwaldt
To: afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Friday, June 19, 2009 7:46 AM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back intooldhabits...help!!

-----Original Message-----
From: "Brenda S." <cherokee_bren_324@yahoo.com>

Date: Thu, 18 Jun 2009 13:12:24
To: <afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com>
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into
oldhabits...help!!

Thanks Brenda! Maybe we'll actually match as a couple now! He weighs 130lbs soaking wet hahaha. I'll feel more secure around him. I can't wait ;)
~Kel
Sent from her BlackBerry

-----Original Message-----
From: "Brenda S." <cherokee_bren_324@yahoo.com>

Date: Thu, 18 Jun 2009 12:52:16
To: <afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com>
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old
habits...help!!

He will have a brand new wife when he returns Kelly! You have done an amazing job, keep up the good work!

Kelly

kelli

To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com
From: goldengyrl_4life@ yahoo.com
Date: Thu, 18 Jun 2009 12:38:46 +0000
Subject: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old
habits...help! !

I realized this morning that my post never showed so I am trying it again. I
will be the first to admit that my marriage might not have been as strong as
I thought it was but I never thought WLS would have been the reason for my
divorce. My ex has adamently stated that after WLS he was no longer
attracted to me. Now I realize that it was out of insecurity on his part. I
never had his support during the pre-op procedures, therapy etc. He was so
adament he didnt want me to have surgery. I remember coming out of surgery
and getting back to my room and he was no where to be found for the next 4
hours. I eventually had to realize that I had to do this for me and me
alone. I am very proud of the strides I have made but I am thankful to be
rid of the 225 lb weight that would have loved for me to remaine 400lbs. I
wish everyone much success and my prayers as this journey seems to
continue.... .on and on....Enjoy the ride.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

------------ --------- --------- ------

Yahoo! Groups Links

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

------------------------------------

Yahoo! Groups Links

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

------------------------------------

Yahoo! Groups Links

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Messages in this topic (72)
________________________________________________________________________
5.3. Re: falling back intooldhabits...help!!
Posted by: "mommy" taximommyto9@yahoo.com taximommyto9
Date: Fri Jun 19, 2009 10:06 am ((PDT))

my daughter is at Camp Bucca.

You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him. -James D. Miles-

--- On Fri, 6/19/09, Kelly <kdies@verizon.net> wrote:

From: Kelly <kdies@verizon.net>
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back intooldhabits...help!!
To: afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com
Date: Friday, June 19, 2009, 10:27 AM

He's in Taji. This is his second tour. The last one was 18 months long 2004/2005 this one is exactly a year 2008/2009

I use the flat rate shipping boxes to send to him every other week. He loves it. I'll just be glad when it is OVER.... September cant come soon enough ;)

Is your son out of it now?

kelly

----- Original Message -----

From: Sheila Derrwaldt

To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com

Sent: Friday, June 19, 2009 7:46 AM

Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back intooldhabits. ..help!!

Good luck Kelly!!!

Sheila

____________ _________ _________ __

From: Kelly <kdies@verizon. net>

To: After WLS <afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com>

Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 4:24:31 PM

Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back intooldhabits. ..help!!

He's army national guard. Some call that a "weekend warrior" but they all protect the same regardless. Right?

Oh, you'll feel a lot of feelings after your surgery. Good, bad! You'll experience a lot.

Kelly

Sent from her BlackBerry

-----Original Message-----

From: "Brenda S." <cherokee_bren_ 324@yahoo. com>

Date: Thu, 18 Jun 2009 13:12:24

To: <afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com>

Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into

oldhabits... help!!

____________ _________ _________ __

From: Kelly <kdies@verizon. net>

To: After WLS <afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com>

Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 3:58:35 PM

Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into oldhabits... help!!

Thanks Brenda! Maybe we'll actually match as a couple now! He weighs 130lbs soaking wet hahaha. I'll feel more secure around him. I can't wait ;)

~Kel

Sent from her BlackBerry

-----Original Message-----

From: "Brenda S." <cherokee_bren_ 324@yahoo. com>

Date: Thu, 18 Jun 2009 12:52:16

To: <afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com>

Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old

habits...help! !

He will have a brand new wife when he returns Kelly! You have done an amazing job, keep up the good work!

____________ _________ _________ __

From: Kelly <kdies@verizon. net>

To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com

Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 11:58:39 AM

Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old habits...help! !

I do have to say that my husband was all for my surgery. Of course he saw

things that would benefit him in the long run... lol (if you know what I

mean).

I am so happy to have his support and understanding. I cant wait til he gets

home from this deployment to see me! I was only 5 months post op when he

left for deployment. Now I am 14 months post op and 117lbs lighter ;)

Kelly

----- Original Message -----

From: "kelli hodges" <keldred24@hotmail. com>

To: <afterweightlosssur g ery@yahoogroups. com>

Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 10:14 AM

Subject: RE: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old

habits...help! !

i understand.. .my husband did not want me to have the surgery either.

luckily he is ok with it now but he is not happy that i have lost 80

lbs...but i am happy. so i think he is ok with it now. my mother says that

he liked me heavy because he didnt have to worry that someone else would

want me...she thinks its insecurity also. i think my marriage is fine but

who really knows my mother was married for 25yrs before her divorce and she

didnt have wls...i figure if he cant love me smaller than he never loved me

at all.

kelli

To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com

From: goldengyrl_4life@ yahoo.com

Date: Thu, 18 Jun 2009 12:38:46 +0000

Subject: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back into old

habits...help! !

I realized this morning that my post never showed so I am trying it again. I

will be the first to admit that my marriage might not have been as strong as

I thought it was but I never thought WLS would have been the reason for my

divorce. My ex has adamently stated that after WLS he was no longer

attracted to me. Now I realize that it was out of insecurity on his part. I

never had his support during the pre-op procedures, therapy etc. He was so

adament he didnt want me to have surgery. I remember coming out of surgery

and getting back to my room and he was no where to be found for the next 4

hours. I eventually had to realize that I had to do this for me and me

alone. I am very proud of the strides I have made but I am thankful to be

rid of the 225 lb weight that would have loved for me to remaine 400lbs. I

wish everyone much success and my prayers as this journey seems to

continue.... .on and on....Enjoy the ride.

--- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com, Sheila Derrwaldt

<sderrwaldt@ ...> wrote:

> Norma,

> I wish you a lot of luck. Your road ahead won't be easy but it will be

> healthier and saner.

> Big hugs,

> Sheila

>___________ _________ _________ ___

> From: Norma . Walczak <izzscruff2@ ...>

> To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com

> Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 7:15:18 PM

> Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old

> habits...help! !

> I have not had a chance to reply till now. Don't want my husband around

> while I am writings. I did not know that he had a drinking problem before

> we were married and it did not come out for the first few years, but after

> the surgery, the demon came out. He drinks every night, and I have learned

> to stay away from him even if it means to go to bed early. He is verbally

> abusive and even throws things and bangs doors. He has not touched me in

> over 2 years. My self esteem is rock bottom, but then I look at guys that

> I work with or have to interact with that try to talk to me and tell me

> that I am pretty. I have talked with our pastor who already knew we were

> at the end. She has tried to talk to us and every time he sits and cries

> like a baby which is his self defense to get the problem off of him. She

> caught on quickly to that stupid action. We no longer talk, he sits and

> smokes his cigarettes, drinks coffee in the morning then comes the booze.

> He has gained

> 120# and tells everyone why he is fat is that I force him to eat. Yes I

> cook meals, but he would rather have ice cream sundae, bananna splits,

> baked goods or greasy hamburgers that he gets while at work.

> Ok enough ranting. I guess that our marriage was never as strong as I

> thought it was, no one's fault, but know that I am not happy and need to

> get out soon for my own sanity.

> Norma

> --- On Wed, 6/17/09, goldengyrl_4life <goldengyrl_ 4life@ yahoo.com> wrote:

> From: goldengyrl_4life <goldengyrl_ 4life@ yahoo.com>

> Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] falling back into old

> habits...help! !

> To: afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com

> Date: Wednesday, June 17, 2009, 5:56 AM

> --- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com, "Victoria" <afterwls@ .>

> wrote:

> >

> > in my experience, I became a 'born again healthy person'. My ex-spouse

> > was not interested in exercising, or losing any weight. He wanted the

> > status quo to remain the same, that is, a nice 'safe' wife who didn't

> > rock the lifestyle boat. When I lost weight and started dressing in a

> > stylish, if not sexy manner, he protested by being verbally abusive and

> > avoiding me, when he wasn't trying to sabotage my diet. He started

> > drinking more (he already had a drinking problem). In short, he couldn't

> > deal with the new me, and we grew apart, and finally, I gave up and left

> > (but not until after 24 marriage counselling sessions).

> >

> > -Vic

> > group founder

> >

> > --- In afterweightlosssurg ery@yahoogroups. com, "Pearson, John"

> > <john.pearson@ > wrote:

> > >

> > > I am having issues in my marriage as well. My wife had the surgery in

> > > July of last year.

> > > Could you elaborate on "putting a strain on my marriage" what problems

> > > are you having if I'm not getting to personal.

> > >

> > > John Pearson

> >

> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _

Hotmail® has ever-growing storage! Don't worry about storage limits.

http://windowslive. com/Tutorial/ Hotmail/Storage? ocid=TXT_ TAGLM_WL_ HM_Tutorial_ Storage_062009

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

------------ --------- --------- ------

Yahoo! Groups Links

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

------------ --------- --------- ------

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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

------------ --------- --------- ------

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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Messages in this topic (72)
________________________________________________________________________
5.4. Re: falling back intooldhabits...help!!
Posted by: "Kelly" kdies@verizon.net kellone2
Date: Fri Jun 19, 2009 10:32 am ((PDT))

never heard of that one.
So I am assuming she is still overseas, right?

----- Original Message -----
From: mommy
To: afterweightlosssurgery@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Friday, June 19, 2009 1:05 PM
Subject: Re: [After Weight Loss Surgery] Re: falling back intooldhabits...help!!